If South Park Made Vines
by allthestripes
Summary: A series of stories based on vines - open to suggestions for vines and characters. Hiatus until August. Current chapter: Clyde and Kenny love ghost hunting shows. They figure they might as well make their own.
1. I Just Want A Fuckin' Latte

Vine - starbucks always spells my name wrong, Cody Ko

* * *

Damien was breathing heavily, struggling to control the hell fire that burned deep in his soul. He was angry, and each step was only making everything worse. He was tired and just wanted to go home and lay down, but noooooo, his gay, red dad just had to have fifty souls from him by tonight. Motherfucker, he hated his goddamned job so fucking much. Being the Anti-Christ was way more annoying than it had any right to be.

To make matters worse, he was stuck wandering around a giant ass city (Denver, Colorado if he remembered correctly), and every coffee shop he had been to so far had fucked up his very simple order. Why couldn't anyone make a simple fucking latte?! That's all he wanted, not one of those bullshit creations that basic white bitches liked to invent on the spot!

On one hand, it was making his job easier, just damning all the people in the shops that messed his coffee up, but on the other, he was getting real sick of walking from shop to shop. He looked up from where his eyes had been burning holes into the sidewalk and found he was outside another coffee shop. This one was rather small, only about three tables set up for customers to sit at, and a shelf holding what Damien assumed were bags of coffee by the register where only one worker could be seen. Well, you know what they say, thirteenth times the charm.

Slamming open the door of the empty cafe, he stomped inside and up to the counter. The barista, a young teen with wild blonde hair and even crazier, wide eyes, shook like an earthquake behind his register.

"Grande latte. Please." He slapped the 'please' on as an afterthought. This guy could turn everything around, no reason to make the clearly already nervous dude have a full-on panic attack and mess up. Then he would have to be merciful for once and assume it was his own fault his drink came out wrong this time.

"C-Coming right up," he squeaked, his surprisingly high-pitched voice sounding like the guy was about to snap. "Can I g-get your name?"

Damien blinked. He had forgotten that this was a thing that happened. Usually the barista would give him weird looks and demand to know, in their snooty I'm-better-than-you voice, if that was really all he wanted. That was his cue to start taking souls. He was at twenty-six already today.

He looked over the blonde, his eyes hard and burning. He wasn't sure why, but he had the sudden urge to see what would happen if he purposefully tried to frighten the guy, seeing as he was already terrified by him doing nothing. Spotting his name tag, he said, "Sure, Tweek, it's HAIL SATAN!" He let his eyes turn red as his voice lifted into a roar.

The barista, Tweek, screamed and fell to the ground, covering his head. Damien bit back a laugh as he added, "LUCIFER SHALL RISE!"

As the poor teen convulsed on the ground, Damien doubled over, howling with laughter. Sure, it was mean, but it was funny as fuck, and if the other could choose between this and being damned, he was sure he would pick this route.

He heard running, and the door in the back burst open. He straightened, wiping his eyes as he sized up the newcomer. It was another teenager, this one wearing a chullo, and tall. Like, Jesus, he was taller than even Damien, and Damien was over six and a half feet. His most striking feature were his electric blue eyes. Currently, they were wide and filled with concern.

Damien watched as he took in the scene and quickly pieced everything together. He slammed down the bags of coffee beans he had been carrying and went over to Tweek. Coming closer, Damien was able to read his name tag. Craig.

Craig lifted Tweek partially off the ground, wrapping an arm around his torso, pinning his flailing limbs in place as he whispered something Damien couldn't hear. Not that he really wanted to, he was just curious seeing as the spazzing boy calmed almost immediately.

Standing up, Tweek grabbed the counter to keep himself steady, looking even wilder than he had when Damien had come in. Craig stayed close, towering over the blonde like a guardian angel.

"Y-You're ACK total is th-ngh-three dollars, OH JESUS," he stammered, stabbing at the touch screen in front of him. Damien handed him a ten.

"Keep the change." Fuck him and his warm heart, he was actually feeling a little bad for making this Tweek boy freak out so badly. The look Craig was giving him clearly stated that he knew it was Damien's fault, too.

Tweek dropped the change into the tip jar beside the register, then shuffled to the side and turned on the coffee maker. Craig stayed in place, glaring fully at Damien. Damien looked back challengingly, a smirk playing across his lips. Craig broke the tense silence first, his voice finally loud enough for him to hear.

"Dude. What the fuck?" The flat monotone of the other caused Damien to snort. Fucking hell, these two were funny as shit! One couldn't care enough about everything and this one apparently couldn't care less about anything! What a fantastic duo!

Rather than answering him, Damien decided to ask a question. "Is it usually this empty?"

Craig pursed his lips for a moment before answering him, clearly annoyed that he'd been ignored. "Yes. Family owned cafes have a harder time pulling in customers than chain stores."

"Am I right in assuming that one of you is related to the family owning this one?"

The blue-eyed teen glanced over at his companion, who was muttering to himself by the machine as he waited for the milk to steam. "Yeah." He turned back to Damien and frowned. "Unless you're an idiot and didn't notice that this place is literally called 'Tweek Bros. Coffee', I'll give you one guess who the relation is."

They were pulled from their conversation by Tweek walking between Craig and the counter. It was almost comical how much shorter than Craig he was, dwarfed by about a foot and a half. He held out the drink to Damien, his hands quivering slightly.

"H-Here you are, sir. Thank you f-for coming to Tweek's Coffee, AGH! W-We hope you'll come again," he said, though his body language clearly said otherwise.

Damien took the cup and sipped it. A smile formed on his face at the victory of finally getting a normal ass cup of coffee. "I think I will," he informed the pair brightly, then turned and left the shop, grinning at the low moan of fear that came from the blonde.

Well, now that he had his coffee, he had better get cracking. Those souls were going to collect themselves, after all. Let's see, were else was a good place to find damnable people...?

* * *

 **After writing Wake Up and this story, I've come to realize that a lot of vines lend themselves extremely well to being short story ideas. I'm thinking of starting a series of non-related chapters based on vines. If you have a suggestion for one, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	2. Boom, Headshot

Vine - Real Housewives of Vine, its just luke

Requested by: requester (Guest)

* * *

Craig and Tweek were play fighting. Since they had started dating and gone through the neighborhood wide games of Game of Thrones and superheroes, they had found that, while beating the shit out of each other and screaming when angry was fun for a while, it ultimately led to hurt feelings and painful bumps and bruises. Now, they took a different route, making it more like acting than actually punching each other. Not to mention the addition of Nerf guns had made everything that much more fun and satisfying.

They each had two days a week they could use to air a grievance they had with the other either during recess or when they were at each other's houses. Today was one of Tweek's days, and he had a slight problem he wanted to clear up right away.

Everyone knew the Goth kids were bad to hang around. Craig knew Tweek didn't like them. They terrified him and were rude the rare times they would come into Tweek Bros. for their coffee fixes. As such, Tweek didn't like very much that he had seen his boyfriend hanging out with the leader, Michael. Craig hadn't said anything about it, and knowing the boy, Tweek knew unless he brought it up Craig never would.

They were in Craig's room that day for their match, Tweek knowing better than to bring this particular issue up at school. Though he was still proud of the acting skills he had discovered when he and Craig had "broken up", he always regretted his unfortunate choice of name to say Craig was cheating on his with. Bringing up this grievance at school would only make everyone mad at Craig again and make them think he was being cheated on again (though technically it hadn't actually happened in the first place).

Getting out the Nerf gun, he loaded it up and hid it behind his back. He didn't want to spoil the plot twist that was going to happen.

They stood opposite each other on either side of Craig's bedroom, multiple pieces of clothing stuffed up their shirts to push their chests out like they had massive boobs. It made them both laugh, and the sunglasses added on top of the high-pitched voices they would use only made it funnier.

These female characters they played had names as well, Tweek's being Rebekah, and Craig going as Jordan. Tweek had told him that wasn't a very girly name and Craig had told him he knew more girls named Jordan than boys. Not wanting to argue it, he'd let it go.

Noticing that Craig was ready, and that his 'boob' was beginning to slip down his right sleeve, Tweek put his hands on his hip and tilted his head to the side. "I saw you hanging out with Michelle yesterday," he snapped.

Craig waved his arms around in disbelief, bringing them in front of him to slap the back of his hand with his palm as he retorted, "R-Rebekah, it's not what you think-"

Tweek cut in. "I won't hesitate, bitch," he stated, whipping out the Nerf gun and firing it at his boyfriend.

Craig let it hit him in the forehead and he dropped to the ground dramatically, his arm over his eyes as he made dying noises.

Triumphant, Tweek approached, putting a foot lightly on Craig's stomach but not pressing down since he didn't want to hurt him, and posing for victory. After he had pretended to be dead for what he deemed to be a satisfactory amount of time, Craig shifted to sit up and Tweek stepped back to let him.

They looked at each other for a moment, then Craig asked, "Michelle? You headshot me; you're pissed." Tweek didn't often go for lethal shots, only when he was really angry. Most of the time he didn't even know how mad he actually was until he took a shot.

"I saw you with Michael this morning," he admitted. "What did he want?" He couldn't keep the bitterness out of his tone, and Craig blinked before laughing.

"Oh, don't worry that, babe. You know, of all the Goths, he's probably the nicest one. He just doesn't care enough to be rude, and he actually cares about the other dudes." He stood up, putting a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "He thought that because we're dating I knew anything about coffee because he knows you don't really like him."

Relief flooded Tweek's entire being and he let Craig pull him into a hug.

The biggest surprise to the school about their relationship was that Craig was the affectionate one, always ready with a hug and pet names for Tweek while Tweek was the one more than willing and ready to shank a bitch should they hurt his boyfriend. Quite the opposite from what the expectation was for Tweek to be the soft-spoken sweetie in need of protection with Craig beating people up for making him cry. Either way, it worked for the pair and they gladly went with it.

"Still," he murmured into Craig's shoulder, "I don't like him, and I don't like him being near you. He's a dick."

Craig smiled and laughed lightly. "For sure. He was pretty annoyed that I knew fuck all after he went out of his way to talk to me."

Tweek's head shot up, almost smashing into Craig's chin. "Was he mean to you!?" he demanded, his eyes widening. Oh, fuck no was he letting a dickheaded Goth kid talk shit to his man, fuck that!

Craig shook his head quickly. "No, honey, don't worry. He just sighed and walked off to smoke before class started again," he assured his boyfriend quickly. "But even if he had been mean, you know I wouldn't have cared. You don't have to do anything to people if whatever they say doesn't even matter to me."

Thinking on this, Tweek nodded, seeing the logic. "S-Sorry, Craig. When it comes to you I just sometimes forget to use reason. I don't want anyone to be mean to you for anything. Remember when Cartman stabbed you with that needle when we were all playing superheroes? I was so mad when I found out!"

The ten-year-old laughed, remembering the incident perfectly. "Oh, that was a thing of beauty," he recalled fondly. "You jumped on him during recess and beat his ass even worse than Testaburger did. I don't know how you didn't in trouble for that."

"I think my mom said I had a nervous breakdown. But I feel like P.C Principal probably knows why I did it," Tweek said. "It all worked out though, so I just try not to think about it too much." There was a long pause before he looked up at Craig, nervousness etching itself into his features. "Is there a limit on how long after something happens that you can be punished?"

Craig shrugged. "I really don't know, but I promise you, if you get put in detention for it at some point, I'll bust you out."

They smiled at each other as they reminisced on the familiar activity, and Tweek nodded.

"Thanks, Craig."

"No problem, babe."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	3. Have You Learned Anything?

Vine - I think Matt Cutshall likes me, Manon Mathews

* * *

Sitting in the back of Stan's father's car, Wendy and her boyfriend were waiting for Randy to come outside. They had recently gotten back together, and Stan was determined to fix what he had done wrong in their previous relationships.

This included talking to her more, holding hands, and going out to things together, which was why they were in the car. There was a book signing happening in Middle Park that Wendy wanted to go to, and secretly, Stan had asked Craig for advice, seeing how well Tweek and him always seemed to patch up their problems. Craig did the best he could, but admitted he was mostly going just on what felt right in the moment. Did Tweek seem sad, like he needed a joke to cheer him up? A hug? A cute name? It was all about learning to read the little cues the other gave off.

Having not wanted to stare at Wendy for hours like a creeper, Stan had started to snap more pictures of his girlfriend when he noticed her mood shifting. Currently, his eyes were glued to his phone screen, attempting to figure out what emotion she was displaying. What did she seem to need from him in that moment?

He didn't notice the pensive look on Wendy's face right beside him. She was staring hard into the back of the passenger seat, playing with a strand of her hair as her mind wandered. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, the driver door opened, startling them both. Randy climbed in, apologizing for taking so long before pushing in the key and starting the car.

As he pulled out of the drive way and started down the road, Wendy glanced over at her boyfriend, noticing his focus on his cellphone. She frowned, then spotted what he was looking at, and blushed. Knowing he wouldn't answer honestly if she asked what he was doing, Wendy took out her own phone and texted her best friend, Bebe.

 _Hey, Stan is being weird and is just switching between photos of me and looking like he's going to explode. Can you see if anyone knows what's going on with him?_

She got a response immediately.

 _Sure thing chica!_

Wendy opened her messenger app, clicking on the giant group chat the girls at South Park elementary all shared. A few moments later, messages began coming in as the girls got to work looking for answers for Wendy.

Annie Knitts: _Jenny, did you say the other day you saw Stan being weird around the school?_

Jenny Simons: _Yeah! He looked really mad about something. I asked what was wrong and he just asked where Craig was._

Meagan Ridley: _Craig? I thought Stan didn't like him? What did he want?_

Jenny Simons: _I have no idea! He wouldn't tell me. He just kept saying he needed to talk to him right away!_

Wendy Testaburger: _Stan doesn't hate Craig; they just get frustrated with each other._

Meagan Ridley: _Could have fooled me. They never seem to really get along. It's always Stan and his friends against Craig and those guys._

Millie Larsen: _Hey, it's Craig's sister in this chat? Where is she?_

Nichole Daniels: _I just saw her with Karen McCormick at the part. Should I run back and tell her to check her phone?_

Annie Knitts: _Duh!_

Jenny Simons: _Of course!_

Bebe Stevens: _Please!_

Nichole Daniels: _Okay okay, jeez, everyone chill out, I'm heading back._

Wendy smiled at the messages, sneaking a glance at Stan just in time to see him turning back towards his phone. Glancing at the screen, she saw new picture of her smiling at her own phone. He'd just taken her picture while she was distracted!

Frowning, she reported this in the chat and waited for the girls to respond.

Patty Nelson: _What a weirdo! Wendy, he's totally going to grow up to be a stalker, I say get out now!_

Bebe Stevens: _Don't say that, Patty. Gross. Stan isn't Cartman, don't be mad that he had that weird crush on you in third grade._

Patty Nelson: _Noooo, Bebe, don't remind everyone!_

The chat filled with laughing emojis and LOLs, most of the girls having forgotten about that painfully awkward incident in the hallway before class. A new message interrupted the roast, Tricia finally responding.

Tricia Tucker: _I'm not scrolling back through all this mess to find out what's happening. Someone just tell me. And be quick about it Karen and I are trying to play_

Bebe Stevens: _Tricia! Stan was looking for Craig the other say. Do you know what's going on?_

Tricia Tucker: _Yea. He ended up coming over after school like two days ago_

Annie Knitts: _OMG! TELL!_

Tricia Tucker: _Why_

Jenny Simons: _This isn't the time to be a Tucker!_

Tricia Tucker: _..._

Bebe Stevens: _I can feel her flipping us off through the phone._

Meagan Ridley: _Me too. Come on, Tricia, please! Help us out!_

Wendy Testaburger: _Please, Tricia? It would mean a lot to me._

Tricia Tucker: _Ugh. Stan wanted relationship advice_

This took all the girls by surprise, and none of them said anything to this, leaving the chat open for Tricia to send a second message.

Tricia Tucker: _Craig can be a fuck boy at times but I will admit when he's not being a dick he is a pretty good boyfriend. Stan was asking something about how he always seems to know exactly what Tweek needs. Craig told him something about just being more observant. Does that answer the question_

Wendy Testaburger: _Yes, thank you very much, Tricia._

Clicking out of the app and shutting off the screen, Wendy pushed her phone into her pocket and turned to look at Stan, who was still studying her pictures. She was touched that he was going through so much effort for this, but at the same time, he was being stupid. Why didn't he just ask her? Then, she found herself speculating if all his "research" had helped at all. Would he be able to pick up on her teasing him and respond in kind?

Quickly hiding her smile, she did her best impression of Craig's blank stare at the seat in front of her before speaking. "Stan, do you ever dream?"

She felt his eyes snap to her face. "About what?" His voice sounded casual as he turned back to his phone, and Wendy turned to look at him, wondering if he had grasped her playfulness already. His answer to her next question would tell her.

"Me."

Without a second of hesitation, Stan switched the picture and said, plainly, "No."

Wendy fought a smile and reached out to brush her fingers against Stan's cheek when they boy added, unexpectedly, "Don't touch me." She brought her hand back quickly and glanced down at her fingers. In that moment, they both snorted, then began to laugh. Huh, it seemed he had figured something out after all.

Stan slipped his phone into his pocket and finally turned his full attention on her. She smiled at him, and took his hand. Once they arrived in Middle Park, she excused herself to the bathroom and took out her phone, sending a text.

 _Thank you._

She got a response a moment later.

 _For what. What do you want._

Wendy supposed this was an expected answer. She had never messaged Craig before ever in her life.

 _For helping Stan out._

 _Oh. Okay._

With a sigh, she shook her head and left the bathroom, heading back her boyfriend. What was with South Park and boys who didn't understand how to communicate properly?

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	4. Trust Your Super Best Friend

Vine - When your parents really don't want you to get a drinking habit (parts 1, 2, & 3), hardstop lucas

Request: potato pants (guest)

* * *

Stan was in his backyard, playing with his dog Sparky when the sliding door from the kitchen slammed open and his super best friend stormed outside, heading towards him. Seeing the fury on the ginger's face, he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Kyle was shouting at him before he could say a single word.

"Have you been drinking again!?" he demanded, standing over his friend with his hands on his hips. Kyle's bright green ushanka seemed to tower over him, blocking out the sun.

Stan blinked, staring up at him in confusion before frowning. "You know I don't even drink anymore, so don't come over here with all that."

This was true, since Kyle had discovered about a five months ago that Stan was an alcoholic, they had worked hard together to get Stan clean. It had paid off, and the boy hadn't touched any kind of alcohol in over two months.

It hurt his feelings to see that Kyle was accusing him of drinking again, especially when he had no idea why. His friend answered his question as soon as he thought it, pulling a bottle from behind his back.

"Then who's water is this?!" he yelled, waving the plastic bottle in front of Stan's face.

Stan's eyes focused on the container, and his anger flared. "I need water to survive!"

"YOU KNOW WE DON'T DRINK IN THIS HOUSE!"

"THIS ISN'T EVEN YOUR HOUSE!"

Kyle gasped, scandalized, then dropped the bottle and 'humphed'. He turned and stomped out of the backyard, shoving open the gate and disappearing, leaving behind a hurt and perplexed Stan.

* * *

A few days later, Stan was sitting in his living room and watching Terrance and Phillip, when he heard stomping coming down the stairs behind him. Turning to see who it was, he was surprised to find Kyle coming towards him looking as angry as he had the other day.

"You're still drinking?" he spat, standing between his friend and the television.

Stan groaned and ran his hand down his face. "I don't drink anymore, Kyle, so don't start with that again," he said as calmly as possible, though he could feel the tension in the room already building.

Kyle whipped a label-less Gatorade bottle from behind his back, holding it towards Stan accusingly. "So why was this under your bed?!"

Stan took a deep breath to steady himself, then rocketed up off the couch, standing nose to nose with the ginger boy. "We need water to live!" he yelled.

"NOT IN MY DAMN HOUSE!" Kyle screamed back.

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU THIS ISN'T YOUR HOUSE! WHY WERE YOU IN MY ROOM ANYWAY!? WHO LET YOU IN HERE!?" Stan heard a suspicious noise issue from the next room and his eyes narrowed in it's direction.

Pouting, Kyle tossed the bottle on the house and left, slamming the front door behind him. Stan ran his hand down his face and sighed, then went into the kitchen where the noise from earlier had come from, finding his father sitting at the table unconvincingly reading the paper.

"Dad, are you telling Kyle lies about me?" he asked, standing on the chair next to him to be closer to his eye level.

"Uh, what was that, Stan? I have no idea what you're talking about," Randy answered, ruffling the pages slightly as he turned them, refusing to look back at his youngest child.

Irritated, Stan jumped back down and returned to watching television, knowing Randy would be absolutely no help to him as usual.

* * *

The next day, Stan was in his bedroom playing when he heard his name being called downstairs. Annoyed at being interrupted, he yelled back, "What?" After getting no answer, just his name being called again, he got up and went downstairs. The familiar hat peeking over the back of the couch made him stop and grumble. What did Kyle want now?

As soon as he came into view, Kyle glared at him, pointing between his friend and the coffee table in front of him. "This is your last chance; didn't I tell you to stop drinking?" he said sharply.

Stan looked at the table and found it covered in half-drunk water bottles. He blinked at them, then turned to his 'best friend'. "Those are not my water bottles," he said. He had never seen some of the brands on the table. He looked closer at one called Smart Water. The fuck was Smart Water? That sounded like something Token's family would buy. He was pulled out of his thoughts by Kyle's next demand.

"Well, let me smell your breath!"

Utterly bewildered, Stan's voice held no anger as he said back, "What?"

"I said, let me smell your breath!" Kyle stood up, moving closer to him.

"Dude, no! Get away from me! You've been a jerk for like a week now! Go away!"

"Come on, Stan, if you really aren't drinking again, then it's not a big deal!"

"FINE!" Stomping over, Stan huffed out a breath at his friend, then stormed back up to his room without waiting for a verdict. He knew he hadn't been drinking. He thought Kyle had known it too, he hadn't realized his super best friend would have so little faith in him.

Slamming the door to his bedroom shut, he kicked his toys out of the way and flopped onto his bed, pressing his face into his pillow. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to-oh fuck it, he wanted to. Hot tears spilled from his eyes, being absorbed as quickly as they were made into the pillow case he was laying on.

He heard a soft knock on his door and quickly sat up and sniffed, wiping his face. "C-Come in," he said, figuring it would be his mother. The door clicked and Kyle entered, his eyes locked on the floor so he couldn't see the anger and hurt that flashed across Stan's face.

"Go away, Kyle, I don't want to see you," Stan demanded, turning away from him towards his window.

"Stan... I'm sorry. I know I've been mean the last few days, but I promise I did it for a reason! I couldn't tell you why or it wouldn't have worked," he explained, taking a hesitant step forward. When Stan didn't fight him, he took a few more until he was at the edge of Stan's bed. "I'm serious, dude, I would never have done this without a good reason."

"And what's the reason?" Stan's voice came out softer than he wanted, and he regretted being so open about his emotions at times like this. It was embarrassing that Kyle could so easily tell that he was upset.

"It was because of your dad. He was suspicious you were drinking and asked me. I told him you weren't and he didn't believe me. He said he saw you with bottles of clear stuff all the time. He thought your were drinking vodka and trying to pass it off as water."

Stan turned to look at Kyle, his eyes red from his earlier crying. They closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "My dad... is fucking stupid."

"Yeah. I'm really sorry, I was doing all that to prove that it was just water and nothing else, I swear. I feel really bad for hurting you like that. I know you wouldn't start drinking again," he apologized. "And don't worry, I know he doesn't know about before."

The super best friends stared at each other for a moment, and they felt the exact moment their friendship clicked back into perfection from the weird place it had been hanging.

"Want to watch cartoons at my house?" Kyle offered.

"Yeah, I don't want to be here for a while."

"You should stay the night! We can host a LAN party!"

Helping Stan gather his devices and sleepover things, the pair ran out towards the Broflovski residence, glad to be together once more.

* * *

 **Apologies for the mistakes in the last few chapters, I only just now saw them. They should all be fixed, and last chapter should now he formatted correctly. Thank you for putting up with the mistakes until they were corrected!**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	5. I Earned This

Vine - When Teresa says you cheated at the pie baking competition, Chrish

* * *

Tweek shivered nervously behind his table, Craig by his side. The taller boy had convinced him to enter a baking competition being held during the town's summer festival that year, somehow, and he was deeply regretting his reluctant agreement. His eyes were locked on the deliberating judges, who consisted of the Mayor, Officer Barbrady, Mr. Mackey, and P.C Principal.

What if the judges didn't like them? What if he had messed up the recipe and they tasted terrible? What he accidentally gave the judges food poisoning? Oh, God! What if one of them died after eating his cupcakes!? Jesus, he couldn't handle being a murderer!

His hands shot up to tangle in his hair, but before they could reach, they were caught by Craig. He looked down at the panicking blonde and gave him a soft, encouraging smile. "Don't worry, babe. I know yours are perfect. You let me taste one, remember? I didn't get sick, and I'm clearly not dead."

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Tweek nodded, allowing his boyfriend to comfort him. He always seemed to know exactly what he was thinking; could Craig read minds? He looked at him suspiciously, then decided it wouldn't be so bad if Craig read his thoughts. In situations like this, it certainly seemed to help.

He turned his attention to the other participants then, looking them over nervously. There was Clyde with his lemon bars, Kyle with some kosher thing (Babka, is what his sign said), Wendy with a plate of generic chocolate chip cookies, and a new girl he had never seen before with a neatly decorated cake. If the contest was based on presentation, she would undoubtedly win first place and Tweek would be thrown out. Some of the adults had submitted items too, like Randy Marsh's... creation with creme fraiche.

He looked down at his messy cupcakes, sad that he hadn't been able to make them look nicer. Craig nudged his side, nodding his head towards the judges' booth. It appeared they had come to a final decision on the winners. Tweek grabbed Craig's hand, holding it tightly.

"Thank you to all the participants," the first judge, Mayor Daniels said. "Even if you do not place this year, we encourage you to try again next year! Aside from you, Mr. Marsh. Please stop making things with creme fraiche."

"Aw, but it's so good!" Randy whined before taking his dessert and leaving dejectedly.

"Anyway, onto the places!" Mayor Daniels picked up the cards in front of her, reading out, "Our Honorable Mention is Kyle Broflovski with his Babka cake."

"Ha! I told you I could place, lard ass!" the ginger yelled towards Cartman who stood in the crowd scowling. "Kosher doesn't mean it's bad!"

Officer Barbrady walked over to him, handing him a green ribbon. Proud, Kyle accepted it, shook the Officer's hand, and took his Babka with him as he headed towards his friends, Stan and Kenny cheering for him loudly.

"Right... anyway, third place goes to Clyde Donovan with his lemon bars!" Token, Jimmy, Jason, and Kevin cheered from the crowd. The boy turned red, but was smiling brightly. He snuck a glance towards Tweek and Craig, both of who shot back smiled and mimed clapping. They were happy for him; Clyde had been almost as nervous as Tweek for the competition. Officer Barbrady gave Clyde a white ribbon, and he took it shyly before heading towards the till celebrating group.

Tweek bit his lip once Clyde was gone. Only two spots left, but what was the actual chance that he had gotten either? As far as he was concerned, they were nonexistent.

"Second place is for Teresa Fleckperstone." Mayor Daniels took a second to look at the name again, and to ask her colleges if that was really correctly. "Okay... uh, Teresa Fleckperstone with her unicorn cake."

The girl who Tweek hadn't recognized before smiled as the audience politely clapped, no one knowing who she was. Barbrady handed her the red second place ribbon, but unlike the others, she didn't take her cake and leave. There was a strange glimmer in her eyes, and she was looking around at the other participants accusingly. The blonde wondered what she was angry about; was she mad she hadn't gotten first? That would be a weird thing to get mad at.

He let out a soft sigh, shifting to get ready to leave. He knew he wasn't going to win, no chance in hell. Mrs. Farnickle had one of her famous pies in the competition after all. Craig put his arm around his shoulders, getting his attention.

"I know you don't think you could have won, but I believe you did, so believe in me," he said softly. Tweek's cheeks tinted pink, but he nodded. Craig hadn't steered him wrong yet, he had no reason not to trust what he said. He looked back towards the Mayor, readying himself for disappointment just in case all the same.

"And finally, I'm happy to announce our winner of the forty-third annual dessert competition: Tweek Tweak, with his fantastic cupcakes!"

Tweek's mouth dropped open in shock as the crowd erupted in applause. He heard Token whistle and his friends screaming for him. "TWEEK! TWEEK! TWEEK!"

He looked up at Craig, finding the taller boy smiling at him. "Congratulations, babe," he said just loud enough for Tweek to hear. The nervous blonde allowed a smile to lite up his features. Barbrady approached, handing him the blue ribbon and shaking his hand.

"They were really good, Tweek, thanks for letting us try them," the officer said.

"T-Thanks, sir," he managed to squeak out before he was smashed into by an extremely excited Clyde, being hugged and gushed over by the emotional boy as their friends surrounded them to give him praise.

"I mean, if they were good enough for a North Korean dictator, I don't see why they wouldn't be good enough for a tiny town like ours," Jason was saying, though Tweek could barely hear him over all the people talking at once.

The area began to clear out, everyone taking off to enjoy the rest of the festival. Tweek offered the rest of the desserts to his friends. He didn't want to go home to put them away, so he figured letting the empty pits of his friends' stomachs take them was the best course of action.

"Hey," an unfamiliar voice said, and the boys turned to find the second-place winner, Teresa, standing behind them. Her smile freaked Tweek out, looking forced and uncomfortable. He flinched back, twitching in discomfort. Craig grabbed his hand, glaring at the girl evenly.

"What do you want?" he asked for his shaking boyfriend.

"I just wanted to say congratulations," she answered innocently. "Nothing wrong with that."

"Here, try a cupcake!" Clyde chirped, handing one to her. "They're really good!"

Teresa looked down at the dessert in her hand, and Tweek could practically see the effort she had to put into not smashing the pastry on the ground. "Thank you," she ground out. "I'm sure they are, since they won first place. Aren't you upset you got third?"

The group frowned at the girl, most of them immediately picking up on what she was trying to do, all but Clyde, who just smiled wider. "Nah. I know Tweek's a great baker, and just looking at your cake was enough to know it would beat me. Lemon bars aren't the hardest thing to make, after all. It's cool I did better than Wendy and Kyle though, that's enough for me."

Oh, bless his stupid heart. Poor Clyde had no idea what this nasty girl was up to.

"Humph." Not trying to pretend any longer, Teresa narrowed her eyes at the twitchy boy. "I don't know why they picked gross looking cupcakes over my actual masterpiece. What did you do? Bribe them? Put something in them?"

Tweek flinched back a bit, his shoulders curving forward as he tucked into himself. "N-No, I just-"

"Cheated! You must have cheated some way!" the girl shrieked. "I never lose in these competitions! Who the hell are you to put in these shit things and win!? Where the fuck do you get off!?"

"Hey, don't talk to him like that, bitch," Craig snapped.

Teresa looked between the two, her face red with anger, and understanding formed in her eyes. "Oh. Oh, I see. You're that famous gay couple. The one this town is willing to bend over backwards for. They'd do anything to keep you happy!"

At her words, Tweek felt something in him change. It wasn't a nice change, like what Craig had done for him. No, this was more like exhaustion. He was tired of being reminded of that awkward incident. Surprising all of them, he spoke up.

"Right, Teresa. No, I completely understand," he said, getting the group to look at him. "But I still fucking win." He ended with an uncharacteristic smirk, lifting an eyebrow at the girl, who spluttered with fury before flouncing away.

He heard Craig inhale sharply behind him and worried for a second he had gone too far; did Craig think he was being stuck up? The hand that landed on his shoulder reassured him instantly. He glanced back and saw the other was staring at him proudly.

"Well done, honey. Take no shit from bitches like that. You won fair and square, don't let anyone try and take that achievement from you," he said.

Tweek smiled shyly and nodded. "Don't worry, I won't."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**

 **I'm going to try to regulate the update schedule for this series. I'll try to do one every three days, and I'm going to switch off between requests and vines I find. Don't worry if you don't see your request for a while, I promise to say if there is ever a request I get that I cannot complete.**

 **Thanks!**


	6. What Even Is Relaxing?

Vine - Release all those sounds trapped in your mind, unable to find creator

Requested by: potato pants (Guest)

* * *

Tweek shivered in his spot on the floor, chewing nervously on his lip. Token had suggested he try to relax by attending some yoga classes at the community center, even going as far as to offer to pay for them himself. Of course, this meant that Craig, Clyde, Jimmy, and the rich boy himself would also go. Tweek wasn't sure if he was glad they were present or not. He wasn't a fan of looking foolish in front of his friends, but luckily Clyde was taking most of the attention, often getting stuck in the possess they were doing and needing to be untangled from himself.

He wasn't sure if he was surprised Jimmy was the most flexible of the group or not, but it did cheer him up to watch the young comedian fold himself into the positions and crack jokes about pretzels and understanding how they felt now.

They had started the class with some simple breathing exercises to calm them all down, and Tweek had been embarrassed as his verbal tics filled the practically silent room, the only other sound the gentle music playing over the speakers. The reassuring look from Craig had been all that kept him from bolting out the door at that moment.

The instructor had moved on then to stretches and into actual positions. Tweek liked the one called 'savasana', or 'corpse pose'. All he had needed to do was lie on his back with his eyes closed and his palms turned towards the ceiling. It had actually helped make him feel calmer. At least at first.

His paranoid thoughts quickly returned, filling up every inch of his newly cleared mind. His eyes snapped open and he bit down into his tongue to keep any noises from escaping. Oh, God, this had been a terrible idea! He felt more jittery now than any time he could remember before!

Finally, the instructor began to lead them in a cool down. She had them sit cross legged on their mats with their legs in the butterfly stretch, the soles of their feet pressed together. She lifted her arms over her head, and waited for them to copy her before continuing.

"Now, just release all of those sounds trapped in your mind," she encouraged gently, slowly beginning to lower her arms to her sides.

Tweek didn't realize he was letting out a sound from the depths of Hell until he opened his eyes and found every single person in the room was turned towards him. Craig looked concerned, as did his friends, while the rest of the class look startled.

"Are you alright?" the instructor asked worriedly.

Tweek turned bright red. "U-Um, yeah. Sorry," he forced out, dropping his gaze to the floor and wishing he could sink into it and die.

"Maybe you should... try to relax?" she offered.

The blonde felt like his face was burning with embarrassment. What did she think he had been trying to do!? Wasn't relaxing the entire point of this dumb class!? He opened his mouth to snap at her, but was beaten to it by Craig.

"What the fuck, lady." The flatness of his voice caught the woman off guard and she turned her attention to Craig, as did the rest of the class. "Do you really think, after hearing that, that he isn't trying? How is saying 'just relax more' going to help? We aren't paying for you to tell us what we already know."

"Yeah!" Clyde pipped up quickly, joined right after by Token and Jimmy.

The instructor looked between the five, then kindly suggested they go to the front and get their money back, seeing as she clearly wasn't helping them as they needed. "Perhaps you could invest in a therapist," she suggested, his light tone edged with hostility.

Craig stood up, held out both middle fingers to her, then walked backwards out of the room, following Tweek who had run out as soon as he could get to his feet. The remaining two followed soon after.

Tweek was huddled up on a bench outside the building, his hands tugging at his hair as he went over all the ways the woman would now come after them. She knew their faces, if she saw them in the street she could try to run them down in her car! She could kill one of them! What if she killed Craig!? A hand dropping onto his shoulder made him scream and jerk back, looking up into the calming eyes of his boyfriend.

Craig plopped down beside him, gently putting his arm around Tweek's shoulders and pulling the trembling boy into his side. "Just take some deep breaths, honey," he murmured gently. "I promise that bitch isn't going to get anywhere close to you. Or any of us. She's a hippie or something, she won't hurt a bunch of kids for being mean to her."

Taking gulps of air, Tweek nodded, letting the words sink in. Craig was right, and it made sense. Hippies were all about love and stuff, she wouldn't really attack them. As he calmed down, their friends joined them, Token stuffing his wallet into his pocket.

"I'm sorry, man, I didn't know the instructor would turn out to be a total asshole," he apologized sincerely.

"I-It's okay, Token. Who would have guessed someone who was supposed to be nice would be like her?" Tweek assured. "I'm glad you got your money back. I would have felt bad if you spent all that on us and we didn't even get anything out of it."

Token shrugged. "It's not a big deal, really," he said. "I like spending money on my friends. That said, why don't we all go to Whistlin' Willy's? Pizza and arcade games?" Clyde's face lit up with excitement and he bounced around his friend squealing.

"S-S-So one no, and...?" Jimmy teased, making the boys laugh.

Feeling better, and looking forward to hanging out with his best buddies, Tweek laced his fingers together with Craig's, and they group headed off.

Who needed yoga to relax when you had kick ass friends like these?

* * *

 **Apologies this one is so short compared to the others; I had a bit harder time coming up with a full story. Hope it was still satisfactory!**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	7. We Can Absolutely Make This Work

Vine - Derek and Tiffany High School Sweethearts: "Bromance", Manon Mathews

* * *

Wendy frowned as she stood beside her boyfriend outside of the entrance to their elementary school. She was beginning to worry about the boy. Ever since the whole fiasco with Tweek and Craig, Stan had been confused by sexuality. It was similar to when Cartman pretending to be a girl just to us the bathroom had messed him up about gender. She would always be there for him if he needed her, but Wendy was not one to be fucked with. She'd launched a lesbian into the sun for Stan, she wasn't above doing something like that again.

She felt she needed to be clear to her friends when she explained her worries: she wouldn't be upset if Stan discovered he was gay, no no she'd be supportive and happy for him, it just all depended on _who_ he discovered his gayness with. Knowing Stan didn't always understand when she asked subtle questions, Wendy took a breath, playing with a lock of her hair.

"Stan?" she asked.

"What?" He was scanning the students around them intently, searching for someone. Wendy had a suspicion she knew exactly who.

"Are you in love with Kyle?" she demanded, unable to keep from sounding somewhat upset. They'd been together for a long time and she'd put a lot of effort into their relationship! It would be devastating to learn that all her hard work would amount to nothing in the end!

Stan frowned and looked at her. "Gross!" Wendy's spirits lifted, but were immediately plunged back down as Stan's entire being seemed to lift as his eyes locked onto the target he had been searching for.

He stepped a little away from her into the person's path. "What's up, Kyle?" he asked brightly, the pair high fiving. Immediately after, their hands dropped and they slapped each other on the butt, grunting.

Wendy's face twisted and she threw her hands into the air. "Oh, my God! That's freaking-!" She was cut off by Stan swinging his arm around her shoulders.

"It's what, Wens?" he asked innocently. The girl's face tinged pink and she huffed.

"If you want to be gay with Kyle, you know that's okay," she murmured. She didn't want to give him the incentive to leave her, but she wasn't going to force him to stay with her in an unhappy partnership either.

Stan laughed. "Oh, please. Wendy, I would never leave you for someone else. I love you to much!" he laughed, placing a light kiss on her cheek. "But if you want to talk about perhaps exploring a poly relationship, I'm down for that too."

Wendy's eyes widened. "Wait, are you serious?" She didn't know he had actually been paying attention to the silly character sheet she had come up with for her superhero persona, Call Girl. "Stan, think about it before you really agree to this."

"I mean, I guess it would be wrong to say that I'm not attracted to Kyle," Stan admitted. "But I don't want to leave you either, you know? Like, I think I'm... infatuated with Kyle. Maybe exploring a relationship with him will help me figure something out, but if you don't want to, don't feel like you have too."

"... Okay, Stan. Let's try it," she decided. She said she would support him, and she meant it. If this was what Stan wanted, or at least thought he wanted, she was willing to entertain the idea.

"I- Wait, really!?" he gasped, surprised.

Wendy nodded. "Absolutely."

A wide smile came to Stan's lips, and he chased after his super best friend, yelling after him to wait for him.

* * *

Two weeks later, the trio were sitting together at lunch happily, Stan in the middle with Kyle on one side of him studying his text book, and Wendy on his other finishing a homework problem.

Stan sighed happily, picking up his pizza slice. He offered it to Wendy, and she took a bite. He kissed her lightly, then turned and offered the slice to Kyle next, who also took a bite. Stan kissed him as well, then finished his pizza. Sure, it was a little strange, but Stan thought it was very cute, and the two were always more than willing to indulge him in his strangeness.

Kenny, Butters, and Cartman sat across from them. Cartman had complained a while about a girl sitting with them, but a solid punch from Kyle and Stan had been enough to shut him up. Now, he was used to it, and their lunch hour continued as though nothing had changed.

"Gee, fellas, you all s-sure are sweet on one another," Butters noted, watching the pizza scene unfold. He wasn't judging, Butters wasn't like that. He was genuinely happy for his friends, always wanting other people to be happy when possible.

Kenny nudged him and whispered something to the blonde that made Butters' eyes widen and smack his shoulder. "Kenny! Behave in school!" he scolded. "I don't wanna get grounded!"

Kenny chuckled, but turned back to his sandwich.

"What are you guys doing after school?" Cartman asked, swirling a french fry in ketchup. He had asked this every day since Monday, and it being Friday, the rest of them couldn't help but wonder if he was planning something terrible, as usual.

"I-I'm not doing anything, Eric," Butters said, smiling at the tubby boy. "I got ungrounded yesterday, so I can do stuff again."

"(I'm free, too. Karen is going to hang out with her friend so I'm good to do whatever,)" Kenny quickly added. He didn't trust Cartman alone with the innocent boy after all the terrible tricks he had pulled on him.

Cartman looked towards the trio, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

"Date night," Kyle answered without looking up.

"Ugh, fine." He turned to Kenny and Butters. "I have some new games. I need other people to play them with me. Come over and stay the night so we can play."

Glad it didn't seem to be a trick, Kenny agreed, and Butters did as well.

"What are you guys gonna do tonight?" Butters asked, looking towards Stan, Wendy, and Kyle.

"Probably watch movies," Stan answered thoughtfully.

"And talk about our feelings," Wendy added with a smile, gaining a scoff from Cartman, which he quickly turned into a harsh cough when the two boys across from him leveled him with cold glares.

"Uh, cool. Emotions are totally not weak or lame. They're hella cool."

"Goddamn it, don't you dare start with that 'hella' thing again, Cartman!" Kyle yelled.

* * *

After school, the trio walked towards the Marsh residence, Stan again in the middle with his hands being held by the other two. "Okay, so, I know I said infatuation when I suggested this and when I approached you, Kyle," Stan suddenly said, breaking the contented silence. "And Wendy I know I said 'gross' when you asked me if I was in love with Kyle, but I'm admitting to you both right now, I was so wrong. I'm totally in love with you both."

Wendy smiled and kissed his cheek. "I'll admit, I've come to love Kyle, too, and you know I love you, Stan." They both looked at Kyle then, unsure what his response to this would be.

He smirked at them. "Stan, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard. I'm honored," he laughed, kissing Stan's opposite cheek. They stopped walking for a moment as he reached over and grabbed Wendy's free hand, placing a light kiss in the back. "I feel the same, Wendy. Thanks for choosing me, you guys. This is really nice."

Exchanging smiles, they continued on to Stan's house, glad to have one another.

* * *

 **To SuprSingr: I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	8. If Only You Weren't Such A Bitch

Vine - MARLEEN STILL CAN'T EVEN TAKE A COMPLIMENT, mya_gonzales

Requested by: Guest

* * *

Wendy sighed, wondering if she should reconsider what she was about to do. She looked towards her best friend, Bebe Stevens, silently asking for her opinion. The curly haired girl shrugged in response.

"You know how I feel about her, Wens, I have nothing else to say on it," she told her. "I don't like Heidi anymore, she's been a real bitch since she got with Cartman and gained all that weight. Not saying that's why she suddenly got mean, but it certainly seems like it to me."

"I know, Bebe, it's just that, well, I can't stop thinking about what Kyle told us. He said not to keep pushing her about Cartman or she'd go back to him. We didn't listen, and now just look at everything that's happened. I can't help but feel this is somewhat our fault," Wendy explained, looking at the floor sadly. "She needed us and we basically just attacked her. Can we really blame her for being mean?"

"Yes," Bebe answered hotly. "I don't deny that we were terrible to her, we were, but I'd like to point out that she doesn't need to be a jerk back. She's being rude and I just don't want to put up with her. But I know this means a lot to you, so I'm not going to try and discourage you. Good luck, Wendy." She patted her friend's shoulder, then headed off down the hall, leaving Wendy alone outside the gymnasium.

Heidi had given the school a presentation on how "unfair" they were being about the special ed students science fair. Frankly, it had made it want to vomit as she'd been listening, but for once she was willing to bit the bullet and pretend otherwise.

The door burst open and Heidi stomped out. When she spotted the other girl waiting for her, she froze then straightened herself quickly, tucking in a lock of hair that kept slipping from under her hat. "Hey, Wendy," she said, sounding suspicious.

"Uh, hey, Heidi," the girl returned a bit awkwardly. She took a breath and forced a smile at the other. "You had a lot of passion up there, I could tell you put a lot of work into it. Your speech was so good."

Heidi smiled widely. She began to prattle on about said speech, telling Wendy how she hadn't even really tried, it had mostly been improv. Wendy smiled and nodded, doing the polite thing and listening to the other girl.

Internally, she was screaming, "Oh, my god, why can't you just take the freaking COMPLIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENT!"

When Heidi finally shut her mouth and moved off to go to lunch, Wendy retreated as fast as she could to her friends' table. "Yeah, never mind. I can't handle Heidi right now. I guess we just have to wait for her to come back on her own," she said, sitting beside Bebe.

The girls looked at her sympathetically and gentle words were exchanged all around.

Bebe hugged her. "Don't worry, Wendy. I'm sure she'll figure it out soon. She almost broke away from Cartman once, we'll just have to hope she can do it again."

The girls nodded in agreement with one another and Wendy sighed. "I hope you're right, Bebe."

"Of course I'm right. Heidi is having a moment of all-encompassing stupid. It'll pass eventually."

The girls returned to their discussion, and Wendy ignored them. Usually she would have happily joined in their conversation, but she found herself looking constantly across the room towards the group's former member.

Heidi was sitting with Cartman, alone together at a table. Stan's group have effectively cut Cartman out of their table as long as Heidi was with him, and Wendy noted how miserable the obese boy was, but she felt no sympathy for him as Heidi ranted about the "unfairness" at the school.

Her gaze drifted towards her currently ex-boyfriend, watching him with Kyle, Kenny, Craig, Token, Jimmy, and Jason. She wondered, not for the first time, where Tweek was. The popular gay couple was hardly ever apart, but Wendy couldn't recall a time she had ever seen the spastic boy in the cafeteria.

The sound of a loud slap made Wendy, and everyone else in the room, turn towards Cartman and Heidi. Cartman was holding his face, and Heidi was standing on the bench beside him, screaming down at him.

The students began to riot as the school's most infamous couple began a screaming match, only for Heidi to tackle Cartman off the bench and punch him repeatedly before he knocked her back and lashed out a few times of his own. They were quickly surrounded by a mob, making it hard for Mr. Mackey to get through to break it up.

Wendy sighed heavily, letting herself lay her head down on the table. She was a feminist, and Heidi had hit first (and she definitely hit more often), so Cartman was justified in defending himself, but she didn't like watching people fight. She tried to only get violent on rare occasions.

She felt Bebe pat her shoulder gently. "Don't think about it too much, Wends. I know you get stressed out by stuff like this, but sometimes it's cathartic. Cartman causes so much shit for so many people, it's find of nice to see someone able to put him in his place constantly." She watched the fight for a moment before adding, "And it's nice for someone to remind Heidi the sun doesn't shine out of her asshole, as often as people seem to tell her it does."

The raven-haired girl snorted and pushed herself off the table, facing the other. "You always know what to say to help me feel better, Bebe. I really appreciate it."

Bebe smiled back. "Sure thing, Wendy. Anything I can do to help."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	9. Don't Be A Dick, Professor

Vine - kissing in front of a homophobic christian, liam walsh

* * *

Tweek and Craig had changed a lot since their time at South Park Elementary. They had gotten taller (Craig far more so than Tweek), grown closer in their relationship, and decided to peruse a higher education. After graduating, they had left their small mountain town and traveled together to Ohio, to attend Ohio State University, it being one of only three colleges in the United States that offered one of the majors Craig intended to go into.

At OSU, Craig created a duel major in aeronautics and welding engineering, while Tweek made another duel major that combined human biology and psychology. Craig was working towards a job at NASA, and Tweek wanted to look into the effects of overexposer to caffeine on the human psyche and body for extended periods of time. His shaking hadn't gotten better, it had just... maintained.

Regardless, they gladly followed each other across the country. They had left South Park and arrived on their school campus after a twenty-two hour drive. They chose to drive straight through, and when Craig was too exhausted to continue, Tweek had taken over, pulling into the residence hall parking lot at 8 a.m on a Monday morning.

Craig sat up, straightening his seat and rubbing his eyes before straightening his chullo, it being to iconic for him to ever leave behind. It would be like if Tweek suddenly began styling his wild mane of blonde hair. "We here?" he asked groggily, taking a survey of the area around them.

Tweek nodded, shutting off the car and letting out a breath. "Alright, we need to check into our room. I guess once we get our room key, other students from the dorm will help us move stuff inside."

Craig nodded and stretched, then got out. He rounded the car and pulled open Tweek's door, knowing the other would be worrying already. He offered him his hand and a smile. "It's okay, Tweek, you can do this. I'm going to be right by you the entire time."

The teen stared at him wide-eyed for a moment, then nodded, accepting the hand and getting out. Craig took the keys from his shaking hand and locked the car before leading Tweek towards the open entrance of their home for the next four years, minus holidays and vacations.

Soon, they had the keys to their room, and were being led down the hall to its location by a junior boy who would be their residence assistant for the semester.

"I'm sure you've heard this a million times before, but I just want to be sure you know," he explained to them. "I know you think being roommates with your best friend will go off well, you won't have any problems, but that is the number one way to end a good friendship. I recommend that, when room switch day comes, if you two are having any problems, separate. It'll help your friendship last longer. Of course, I'm always here to help mediate any disputes too."

The couple glanced at one another and decided silently not to let their RA in on their secret just yet, smiling in amusement. With the help of the older students, the pair quickly had their belongings scattered around the room. They set to work, removing the supplied beds from the University and taking them downstairs. They set up their own bed, a single full-sized, which they had long ago decided to share.

This gave them quite a bit of extra room, and they gladly used it to their advantage. The room had built in furniture along the right wall: two desks, two dressers, and two closets. They had picked out a special cut carpet to fit the exact dimensions of their new "apartment", as they had been affectionately calling it, and this was rolled out first. A giant window spanned the wall opposite the door, and they pushed the bed against the wall, the head of the bed under the window sill.

Now with over half of the room clear for whatever they wanted, they set up a futon in couch position against the remainder of the wall by their bed, an end table on the side by the door. Between the futon and their bed, they put a small fridge. Next, they organized their desks, dressers, and closets. They left the top of the dressers clear, and set up their television and PS4 there, in perfect view of the end of their bed and the futon.

Satisfied, they sat on the futon together, snuggled up while their television connected with the school's wifi and Netflix turned on. They caught a quick nap as a movie played, then they headed out to meet their orientation group.

Tweek trembled nervously, holding tightly onto Craig's hand but refusing to shy away. While he might have greatly disliked crowds and new people, he had Craig right there to help him. It went smoothly, and when they all went around and introduced themselves and shared fun facts, Tweek shrieked he was gay. He was embarrassed only for a second before Craig added that he was too, and if anyone had a problem with that, they were welcome to eat an entire ass.

The other first years laughed, and their group leader, a senior, assured them that the campus was very LGBTQ friendly. Comforted, the couple had no trouble getting to know their classmates.

* * *

Things went well for the rest of the Fall semester. They did well in their classes, and when their RA found out they were a couple, he was very good humored about it, laughing as they reminisced on his unneeded advice from move-in day.

They also found the city of Columbus to be nice and boring in comparison to their ridiculous home town. Sure, it was a million times bigger and crime filled, but it was _normal_ , and the pair lover it. They had no problems until mid-way into their Spring semester.

Walking towards the union after a class, they saw a large gathering on the mall, a religion professor that neither knew standing in the center and ranting about something. Moving closer, they found he was talking about the disgustingness of homosexuality.

Tweek rolled his eyes at the man. If God really had a problem, Jesus would have let them know. He'd been in the town since they were little, and had been very supportive of the youth couple. He found his annoyance quickly turning to anger, though Craig later told him it was most likely due to the fact that he had been hungry and the man was making him have to wait longer for food.

"-MAKES IT VERY CLEAR-!" the man was shouting at the gathered students, when Tweek stepped through the crow, parting them easily, Craig in tow.

"Hey, professor!" he called out, interrupting his tirade. The yelling paused as the man looked over, but Tweek didn't met his eyes. He simply turned to Craig and held out his hand. Craig stepped forward, and in front of the student body (many of whom had out their phones to film the crazy professor), they kissed. It was light and quick, but served its purpose.

"STEP BACK, I THINK I'M GONNA VOMIT!" The man pushed past them and leaned over, making gagging sounds. Craig tried hard, but couldn't keep the smile from forming on his face.

A majority of the on-lookers had 'aw'ed at their kiss, and as Tweek grabbed Craig hand and started walking once more, they were easily allowed through with pats on their backs and whistles.

Once they had food and settled at a table, Tweek took a deep breath, finally feeling the nerves he had been ignoring. Before his shaking could get too bad, Craig reached over and set his hand on top of the blonde's.

"I'm proud of you, babe," he said, smiling lovingly at his boyfriend.

Tweek smiled shyly back. "Thanks, Craig." They dug into their lunches, and were soon joined by some of the people that had been standing close-by in the crowd.

"Dude, that was like, the coolest thing I've ever seen!" one cheered, his short brown hair fluffing all over the place as he bounced in his seat. "I've been sick of that professor's bullshit for a while, but I've never had the guts to do what you did. You guys are so awesome!"

His friend nodded, giving them a smile. "Yeah. It was like one of those social experiment videos from YouTube that show up every now and then."

"Thanks," Tweek murmured shyly, his gaze dropping to the table top. Luckily for him, Craig stepped in to help.

"And you two are?"

"Oh! I'm Clyde Donovan, and this is my best friend Token Black. I will date him one day," the excitable teen, Clyde announced, making Token laugh.

"You can't afford me, Clyde."

"One day, dude. Just watch me!" Clyde chirped, standing and striking a pose, flexing his muscles. "Football players make tons of money!"

"Yeah, but I don't know about bench warmers," Token teased back.

Their conversation continued, and Craig and Tweek laughed. This seemed like the start of a beautiful friendship.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	10. Listen To Me Next Time

Vine - When you go over someone's house and they act like their dog isn't a wold beast, JAY VERSACE

Requested by: potato pants (Guest)

* * *

Tweek shuffled nervously down the street, heading towards Stan's house. The boy had invited a bunch of the guys in their class over to watch the new episode of Terrance & Phillip, and while Tweek appreciated the invitation, he hadn't wanted to go. The blonde was scared of may things, and one of those things happened to be dogs. Which Stan had. It didn't matter that Sparky was a gay dog, he was just as capable of destruction as Tweek was.

The thought terrified him. Dogs were descended from wolves, they were literally made to kill things! He was a thing!

Arriving on the porch, he took a deep breath, then raised his hand to knock. A tap on his shoulder made him jump and whip around, discovering Craig and his friends were behind him. Token, Jimmy, and Clyde waved and said cheerful 'hello's while Craig smiled at him.

"Hey," he greeted. "I didn't think you were going to come today. I would have stopped by to walk with you if you'd told me."

"Geh, it's fine, Craig. I didn't want to come, dad told me I needed to get out of the house and try to enjoy life," Tweek explained. "He only knew this was happening because Stan's mom called mine and told her."

"W-W-Well, I'm s-su-s-sure everything will be f-fantastic," Jimmy said, trying to be comforting.

"Yeah, Stan is good about having casual hangouts," Token agreed. "I'm sure this will be fun."

Unconvinced but not wanting to ruin the others' excitement, Tweek nodded, stepping back to allow Craig to knock. The door opened almost instantly, Stan on the other side. He motioned for them to come in, saying, "Whoever is last, shut the door."

The group went to the couch, were Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and a few others were already seated. Stan reclaimed his spot beside Kyle as the five settled on the floor. Tweek glanced around nervously, shivering. Where was that dog...?

Sharon came in and offered the boys some snacks, which were accepted gratefully. Craig was looking between him and the television, worried about his boyfriend.

"What are you thinking about, honey?" he asked softly.

Tweek flinched and turned to him. "W-Where is Stan's dog? I can't relax without knowing! It could sneak up and kill us all!"

"Sparky isn't going to kill anyone," the boy said calmly. "If he was going to kill, he would have tried already, and Stan would either be dead or have gotten hurt. Stan knows what he's doing when it comes to animals. He isn't going to let Sparky hurt us."

Someone comforted by the matter-of-fact way that Craig spoke, Tweek nodded, settling back against the couch as the show started. Soon enough, his worries drifted away as the boys were sucked into the world of their favorite show, laughing raucously enough to drive Stan's parents out of the house to get away from the noise they made.

Tweek got up during the second commercial break and went into the kitchen, making himself a cup of coffee. It was lucky for him that most of the town understood his need for the dark drink and had welcomed him to make some whenever he was over. As he waited for the machine to brew, he heard the other boys getting rowdy. Once his coffee was ready and, in his mug,, Tweek headed back into the living room.

"Hey, how are you-" He was interrupted by the sudden appearance of his worst nightmare: Sparky. The dog growled lowly at him, and Tweek dropped his mug, breaking it and sending coffee everywhere as he screamed.

" _ **AAAAAAAAHHH!**_ _GET YOUR FUCKING DOG, BITCH!_ " he shrieked at Stan, who was still sitting on the couch casually while the other boys ran around fighting and arguing.

Stan looked over at him, an eyebrow raising. "He doesn't bite," he told him flatly.

" _YES,_ _HE DOES! GET-!_ " Before Tweek could finish, Sparky leapt at him. Screaming as though he was being murdered, Tweek bolted, crashing out of the Marsh house and onto the sidewalk. As soon as he got his feet back under him, he was running, getting as far away from the house as possible.

Craig found him an hour later, shaking on a bench at Stark's Pond. Tweek ignored him, curled up tightly with his arms around his legs. He planned to not acknowledge his boyfriend at all, but Craig had brought presents. He draped a blanket around his shoulders, and offered him a cup of coffee from Tweek Bros.

Giving in slightly, Tweek accepted the cup, taking a few sips. "Thanks," he murmured.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Craig asked gently.

"I told you that he would attack us!" he snapped back, glaring at the other boy in annoyance. "I told you, and you didn't listen! No one did! No one ever does! I'm sick of it, Craig! I just wanted you to be safe, but nooooo! You just couldn't believe me! You had to be logical!"

Craig let him rant, listening and accepting his anger. When Tweek went quiet, he spoke. "You're right, I should have listened to you. I'm sorry, honey." His voice was sincere, truly feeling bad that Tweek had been scared enough to run away.

"I promise I'll listen to you from now on, and I'll try to be more vigilant when we can't get out of situations like that," he continued. "Sorry it took me so long to find you. I went to your house first and was looking around town for you, then I had to stop to get the coffee and blanket."

"Well... I guess I can forgive you this time. You did admit I was right, after all," Tweek relented, his heart warming at all the trouble Craig went through just for him. He liked it, he had to admit. It was nice to feel important and like someone cared.

The boy smiled and took his hand, pulling him down from the bench gently before leading the way back to the Tucker house. They usually would go up to the other's room and watch television until Tweek felt better and play games.

Though he could made dumb decisions sometimes, Craig definitely did care. Tweek would always appreciate that.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	11. Thanks, I Guess, Weird Dream

Vine - Bros bein bros, enjajaja

* * *

Stan woke with a start from a strange dream. He wasn't sure if it counted as a nightmare, or could be considered the best dream he had ever had in his entire life. He rubbed his heated face, shuffling uncomfortably in his bed. He was eighteen now, and getting ready to graduate in a month. His super best friend, Kyle, and he would be heading out to California for college, both having been accepted with athletic scholarships.

Jumping out of bed, he went into his bathroom to shower and take care of a personal problem. Once he was clean and more settled, he got dressed and headed downstairs with his backpack. His thoughts were still on his dream from the night, but it wasn't the dream itself he was thinking of, but rather, the person it had involved.

The teen had had dreams like this before (who hadn't?), but he had never had one involving Kyle before. Usually, it was Wendy, his ex-girlfriend. He hadn't been with her since freshman year, but he had never thought of Kyle as a dateable person before.

He ate a pop-tart and slipped on his shoes, rushing to meet his friends at the bus stop. Because their home town of South Park was so small, it didn't have a high school of its own, but there was one in the county that North, West, and East Park also went to. Even with students from four schools attending, there were barely two thousand people. It was nice, in a way, as it meant less bullshit had come up over the years.

The biggest problem that they had dealt with was their first year, when the upperclassman from the other three schools hadn't taken kindly to Tweek and Craig. It had escalated almost to an all-out war between the towns, but Stan's gang, and along with Craig and those guys, had managed to get everyone settled. It helped a lot that the two gay kids could beat more ass individually than all the students from North Park combined.

That had taken most of the year, and since then, no problems had come up at the school. Everyone was glad, happy to have at least one place in their lives that had some semblance of normalcy.

Getting to the bus stop, he found Kyle was there already, a textbook in his hands. He was reading over something, and Stan could tell it was some advanced math that he could never understand. He smiled as he approached, slapping the cover of the book and knocking it up into Kyle's face and almost out of his hands.

"What's up, nerd?" he asked, wiggling his shoulders back and forth playfully.

Kyle glared at him, but the look quickly vanished. He smiled back and shook his head. "You're such a dick, Stan."

"Yep. But you love me and I love you," Stan teased, putting his hands on his hips and popping one out to the side. "Sorry, I don't make the friendship rules."

"Yes, you do," Kyle laughed, closing his book and placing it in his backpack. "I watched you write a list just last year and title it, 'The Rules for Being a Super Best Friend'. You wrote all your 'e's backwards too."

Stan blushed. "You saw that?" he asked, embarrassed.

His S.B.F nodded. "Yeah. Don't worry, it was cute."

"I heard the word 'cute'," a new voice called before Stan could respond. The pair turned to find their friend Kenny walking towards him, a bandana around his neck rather than over his mouth for once. Once he had outgrown his parka, Kenny had opted for a coat more like Kyle's (meaning it was still orange as fuck), but rather than a giant hood, he used a bandana to cover his face when it was cold.

"Hey, Kenny," they greeted in unison.

"Ooo, doing that creepy, talking together thing," he said with a bright grin. "Finally ready to admit you're a couple yet?"

Kenny asked them this at least once every other day. Ordinarily, Stan didn't mind and thought nothing of it, but now, in the wake of his dream... Luckily, Kyle stepped in, giving Kenny a firm 'no'.

"I'll get you one day," the teen declared. "Just watch."

The three stood for a few minutes in an easy silence, then Stan glanced around. "No Cartman today?"

"Nah, I guess he finally managed to fix up that car he found and he's test driving it to school. He's super excited, I actually hope it works out for him. He's worked hard on that thing," Kenny explained, getting nods in response from his friends.

"So, if he's waiting for us at school, all went well, if he isn't there, either he slept in, or his car broke down and he's stranded until someone gets him," Stan summarized.

"Maybe Token'll take pity on him and pick him up," Kyle said.

Cartman might have been a shithead when they were children, but he had grown up a lot in once entering middle school. He was still a schemer and tricky, but he wasn't a xenophobic, racist, Nazi-lover any longer. He had spent a number of years proving to his few friends that this change was real, and he was trying hard to be a better person. Occasionally, he would slip and say something cruel, but the regret in his apologies was always genuine.

The bus arrived and they climbed aboard, heading to the back where their usual seats were. Stan slid in by the window and Kyle took the spot beside him. Across the aisle, Butters was sitting alone, and Kenny gladly plonked himself down beside the other, striking up a cheerful conversation with the artsy blonde.

Kyle took out a different textbook and opened it to study on the ride to their school, and Stan's eyes drifted over him, quickly getting lost in thought.

Did he think Kyle was attractive? According to his dream, the answer was a definite yes. A 'hard' yes, as Kenny might put it, even. Blushing from his own stupid joke-pun, Stan forced his brain to continue on. What was it he found attractive about his best friend? A million memories rushed his mind, each vying to answer the question. The confused teen sighed and sagged in his seat against the cold metal of the wall. Apparently his subconscious had decided he was gay a long time ago.

Soon, they arrived at the school and the bus emptied, leaving Stan and Kyle to exit together. Once outside, Stan put out a hand and grabbed Kyle's wrist lightly, a silent message that he wanted to talk privately. Kyle looked at him questioningly, returning the text to his bag.

"What's up, Stan?" he asked, tugging at his lime green mittens.

Stan figured the best way to get his main question answered (would Kyle even be interested in him back?), would be to tell him about his dream.

"Bro, I had a dream we fucked," he said, his voice rising slightly at the end of the final word, making his statement sound more like a question.

Kyle blinked, his eyes widening a little before he answered, his tone gentle and comforting. "It's just a dream, dude."

Unable to keep his nervousness down, or his strangely rising disappoint, Stan let out a weak chuckle as his gaze lowered to his feet, and he made an attempt at damage control. He didn't want to lose Kyle's friendship over this. "Heh, gay. I wouldn't fuck you."

There was a long pause, long enough that Stan thought Kyle had walked away without him hearing somehow. He shifted, considering looking up when he heard Kyle speak, his voice so low he almost missed it.

"... you wouldn't?"

Stan's head snapped up and his eyes locked with his super best friend's. Kyle was blushing, and Stan could feel the heat rising again in his face. "I-I mean, unless you... want to..." he offered, rubbing the back of his neck.

The friends stood beside the bus for a few more minutes, unaware of the bell ringing to call them in, or the cold of the air around them. They also didn't notice they had moved closer to one another until they found themselves wrapped in each other's arms. Their faces inched closer, and Stan's eyes fluttered shut as he leaned in, feeling Kyle do the same.

The blast of a car horn shocked the pair apart, and they jumped away from each other, looking around for the source of the noise. They saw an old, beat up car pulling into the parking lot, Cartman behind the wheel. He grinned at them as he shut the car off and got out, backpack slung over his shoulder.

"What did I arrive just in time to see?" he asked, walking towards them.

"Shut up, Cartman, let's just go inside before we get detention," Kyle snapped, his face as red as his hair.

"Alright, Queer-mos. Just be sure to invite me to the wedding."

"CARTMAN!"

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	12. Why Would You Hurt Me In This Way?

Vine - PLEASE DONATE, Josh Kennedy

Requested by: Guest

* * *

Kyle put the finishing touches on his snowman, then stepped back to appreciate his work. It had taken him three hours to build the world's most perfect snowman. All three snow mounds had been perfect spheres, the buttons in the middle were perfectly centered, and the face was precise and symmetrical. The ginger boy smiled, feeling proud. He was excited to show his super best friend, knowing Stan would appreciate the effort he had put in. He'd gotten a measuring tape to be sure everything worked together, for God's sake.

He shifted, ready to walk over to Stan's house when he felt something slam into him from behind. With horror, Kyle felt himself falling, and he crashed into his masterpiece, knocking it down. He sat, stunned, in the remains of his project, then looked up to see what had happened.

Ike was standing there, a smile on his face. The toddler giggled gleefully, then ran into the house. Crushed, Kyle couldn't help it when he began to cry. Stan heard him next door, and rushed over to check on the other. It only took a moment to figure out what had happened.

He pulled Kyle to his feet and put his arm around his shoulders, leading him back to his house. Stan settled his friend on the couch, sitting beside him and just being present until Kyle cried himself out. With a few sniffles, Kyle wiped his eyes and stared at the ground.

"Dude, what happened?" Stan finally asked. "I saw the snowman, but people knock those down all the time, so I figured something really bad must have happened."

"It was Ike!" Kyle burst out, startling his friend. "I-I worked really hard on that snowman, Stan! It was perfect, I made sure everything about it was! And he just pushed me into it! He didn't care that I worked hard! He didn't care I spent hours on it! I-It was such a Cartman-like thing to do!"

"Whoa, don't say anything you'll regret," Stan cautioned, worried about his friend. He didn't see Kyle get this agitated often. Sure, he got mad a lot, but he didn't _cry_. Kyle Broflovski only cried when he was really upset.

Kyle turned to him, his eyes puffed and red. "Can I borrow some paint and paper?" he asked.

Blinking in confusion, Stan nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Getting the items from Sharon, the boys sat at the table and finger painted for a while. Stan tried to see what Kyle was making, but the other keep his arm over the page, hiding it. Stan gave up after a while, putting more effort into his own painting. It was of, him, Kyle, and Sparky playing in a field. There was a tree in it. Stan thought it was pretty good.

"Can I use your computer?"

The question was unexpected, and Stan looked up to be sure he heard his friend. "What?"

"I said, can I use your computer?" Kyle repeated, holding his painting so Stan couldn't see it.

"I guess so? Why?"

"I just need to do something really fast."

Kyle disappeared upstairs, leaving Stan behind.

* * *

An hour later, after Kyle had returned downstairs (without his painting, Stan noted), the two were on the couch, playing a video game. There was a knock, and Stan got up, answering it. Outside were a bunch of the people from their class.

"Uh... hey, guys," he greeted. "What are you all doing here?"

"Kyle told us to come," Token said, and the rest nodded. Stan looked back at his friend, who stood up and motioned for them all the follow him into the yard. The kids gather in the yard while Kyle stood on the porch to address them.

Clearing his throat, he addressed them. "Hey, everybody. Today, my brother pushed me, so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down." He turned to an easel that had been set up, which no one had noticed until Kyle pointed it out. It was a painting of a chart, the left side marked 'Number of Pushes', the bottom 'Kill Him'. The chart itself was titled, 'Put Down Little Brother.'

"The benefits of killing him are that I would be pushed way less," Kyle stated, pointing to the lines on the graph to emphasize his point.

"Why are you still being pushed so much?" Clyde called.

"Because you guys all push me too."

"Wait, why do you want to kill Ike for pushing you?" Craig asked.

"Y-Yeah, I th-tho-thought you l-l-l-liked your b-brother," Jimmy added.

"Well, that's changed," Kyle snapped, annoyed by the interruptions.

"Kyle, this is a terrible idea!" Tweek yelped. "Your mom and dad would be really mad if we helped you do this! That's way too much pressure!"

The chorus of agreement he got in response pissed the ginger haired boy off. He stomped his foot and punched the easel, knocking it over with a crash. He stormed past the boys and through the gate out of Stan's yard. Stan glanced around at everyone, then rushed after him, leaving everyone else to find their own ways out.

He caught up with Kyle on the boy's porch.

"Kyle, wait!" he called, making him pause at the front door. Stan ran up the steps, skidding to a halt beside him.

"Don't try to convince me otherwise, Stan," Kyle hissed. "I'm going to do the Kickstarter, and Ike won't ruin my life anymore."

"Dude. You don't want to kill your brother. You're just mad. Think of all the trouble you've gone through for him in the past. We went all the way to Canada to get him back, and you've screamed and told off Visitors twice for him," Stan reminded him, trying to help his friend see reason.

It seemed to work, and Kyle sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It just really hurt that he purposefully destroyed my snowman. I worked hard on that, and I was excited to show you," he admitted sadly.

Stan put his hand on Kyle's shoulder. "We can make one together. It'll be even better than the one you made today. And if Ike breaks this one, let's bury him for a while."

This got the boy to laugh and he smiled. "Okay, Stan. That sounds good to me."

* * *

 **Funny thing: if this hadn't been suggested, I was going to make it a chapter anyway, just further down the line.  
**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	13. If You Could Stop That Would Be Great

Vine - Is this shit aloud, Daniel Gomez

* * *

In the coffee shop where his boyfriend worked, Craig was sitting against the wall, waiting for the teen to finish his shift. Tweek was working behind the counter at the coffee machines while his coworker, Bebe, ran the register. It was habit for Craig to come into the shop and wait the last half hour of Tweek's shift so they could either go together to get food, or walk home. Bebe thought it was the cutest thing in the world and would smile so widely at them, Craig was convinced her face hurt for hours afterwards.

Currently, Craig was sitting in his usual spot, scrolling through Twitter on his phone. In his peripheral vision, he saw Stan and Wendy walk by him to sit at the one table that was basically hidden from the rest of the cafe and the counter. He tried to ignore them, finding them to generally be disgusting with their lovey-doveyness.

Sure, it was technically a double standard, since he gladly did all the things they did with Tweek, but at least they had the fucking decency to only do the mushy stuff in private. That is, when Tweek was even able to get over his embarrassment and allow it.

He happened to glance up and was forced to stifle a gag. Stan and Wendy were sitting across from each other, but close enough to touch. Stan had one hand on her side, and the other was resting lightly on her cheek. Wendy had both arms around his neck. Their legs were touching as well, and their eyes were closed. Just seeing it was making Craig extremely uncomfortable.

Glancing around, he found that the building was actually quite packed, and a grin formed on his face. Oh, he was going to embarrass the shit out of the two. He leaned back, catching Tweek's eyes, his boyfriend looking at him in confusion. He always seemed to know when Craig was up to something. He waved, then looked back at the pair.

"What the fuck?" he asked loudly, turning to look around the cafe as people turned towards him. Craig locked eyes with Bebe, nodding towards the hidden couple. "Is this allowed?" Seeing the confusion on the other customers faces, Craig pointed an accusing finger in their direction.

"What the fuck," he repeated, sounding disgusted. "Is that allowed?" His voice went up at the end, expressing his disbelief. The customers spotted the pair, and many made faces. It was a pretty weird thing to be doing in public.

Craig's eyes were on Tweek, and he smiled when he saw the blonde hide a smile and laugh. Craig's favorite thing to do was make the other happy. It wasn't really hard to do, it was just always a treat to see.

He turned back to look at Stan and Wendy, and was surprised to see Wendy staring at him. Stan was blushing and looking at the table, though his hand was on her leg now, and Wendy's hand was on top of his.

The girl glared when their eyes met. "Stop," she snapped, annoyed.

Craig let his expression go blank, and he lifted his middle finger. Wendy huffed and stood up, dragging Stan with her. Tossing Craig a venomous look, she called a goodbye to Bebe then led Stan out of the cafe, the pair blushing brightly at the stares that followed them.

A few minutes later, Tweek tapped Craig's shoulder and he stood up, accompanying him out.

"Hungry?" he asked, leading the way to his car. When Tweek nodded, he opened the car door for him, despite the blonde's protest. Rolling his eyes, Tweek slid in and pulled the door shut behind him. Craig slid over the hood of the car and got in, starting it up. "Micky D's?"

"Yeah. What was all that with Stan and Wendy earlier?" Tweek asked, adjusting the vent blowing hot air onto him. "Bebe's phone was basically exploding once they left and Bebe had to go into the back and call her."

"Wendy can't take someone teasing her, I guess," Craig said with a shrug, pulling out onto the street and heading down the road out of town towards North Park. "I just called out their gross PDA and she got pissy."

"Don't we do gross PDA?"

"No, holding hands isn't gross." He described what the couple had been doing, and snorted when Tweek made a face. "My exact feelings. That's why I called them out, it was weird for them to be doing in the cafe."

"Ew, I'm glad it was Bebe's turn to wipe down all the tables. I might have died if I'd done it then you told me that," Tweek said, crossing his arms. "Why do people always do weird shit like that in coffee shops? I don't want to see it any more than the next person."

"I don't know, babe. Do you want me to beat them up for you?" Craig teased, flashing the blond a grin.

"I shouldn't have to ask you to do stuff like that," his boyfriend sighed. He leaned back against the seat and let his head roll to the side against the head rest. "You should just do it."

Craig laughed, and Tweek quickly joined. Soon enough, they arrived in North Park and the McDonald's. They decided to get out and go inside to eat, since neither wanted to eat in Craig's car, and they didn't want to wait to get home. Walking in, they didn't expect what they saw.

Sitting at a table in the corner, were Stan and Wendy, doing the same thing here that they had been at Tweek Bros. Craig blinked then snorted, putting his arm around Tweek. "Let's leave them alone," he suggested, covering the blonde's eyes. "They want to be weird, the staff here can deal with it."

Tweek laughed, pulling at Craig's hand and yanking it down. "Hey, I wasn't going to suggest anything. You're the one who likes to made fun of people."

"Oh, absolutely," he agreed. "But it makes me feel like a better person to think otherwise sometimes."

Going to the counter, they ordered, Tweek paid (after having to shove Craig to the ground and practically throwing money at the cashier), and they sat down to eat. Craig pouted at him, twirling a french fry in ketchup.

"Look at me like that all you want, you drove here, so I get to pay. That's our deal, and I'll be damned before I let you pay for everything," Tweek said, not looking at him, instead reading a news article on his phone.

"Fiiiiiiiiine," Craig sighed, accepting his defeat. They got about halfway through their meal, when a commotion in the corner drew their attention. Turning, they saw someone pointing at Wendy and Stan, yelling at them to "stop being nasty".

They watched for a while, until Wendy pulled Stan from the restaurant. Once they were gone, Tweek chuckled.

"Okay, that made what you did look straight up polite," he said, resting his chin on his hand, looking over at the corner the couple had hurried to abandon.

"What can I say? I'm awesome." The teen took a sip from his drink casually, though he smiled.

Tweek raised an eyebrow. "Well, now you just sound like Clyde."

"Aw, don't be mean, babe," Craig whined, pouting at the other.

"Look, it's not your fault, it's just science. When people spend a lot of time together, they tend to pick up each other's mannerisms," the blonde teased. "Clearly he's taken on some of yours, I watched him flip someone off just the other day for bumping into him. It was the most bizarre thing I had ever seen."

"Was?"

"Stan and Wendy take the cake."

"Ah, I see. For sure," he agreed, nodding. "Good thing we're adults in control of our goddamn emotions, huh?"

This got Tweek to snort, and he began to laugh. "Oh, fuck yeah. So much control."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	14. Square Up, Fucker

Vine - White kid fight, Nick Colletti

Requested by: Guest

* * *

Cartman paced in his room, his anger growing with each step. He was sick of this, sick of Kyle-fuckin'-Broflovski and his stupid goddamn _conscious_. Every time he wanted to do something fun, Kyle would come along and try to snuff it out! He would turn Stan against him, then Kenny, then everyone else! Usually the only one who stayed with him was Butters, but lately even he had been leaving him behind!

It was decided: Kyle needed to be taught a lesson, and he was just the person to teach such a class. He knew exactly what to do.

Grinning to himself, delighted by his cleverness, he pulled out a sheet of paper to write down his idea for his next money-making scheme, no longer needing to think of his arch rival. This one would really work, so long as Kyle kept his gigantic Jewish nose out of it. This involved getting Butter's to steal his father's new drone and take secret videos of Tweek and Craig together. The Asian girls would pay a fortune for that, as would most of the adults. It was so fool proof, even Butters wouldn't be able to fuck it up.

Once it was finished, Cartman carefully rolled the page up and stuffed it into his coat. Kyle thought he was hot shit because he just happened to get in lucky shots every time they fought, but there was no way he would really lose to the Jew-boy if he used his greatest advantage. It had worked with the Cthulhu situation, there was no reason for it not to work now.

Or so Cartman thought, as he forgot that his tactics had not worked on his friends, even then.

He left the house, heading to the park where the guys usually hung out. Stan and Kyle were there, playing tether ball, and Butters was sitting in the sandbox with Kenny, building a castle out of a mixture of sand and snow. He walked past the court, feeling the two stop to stare at him as he approached the sandbox.

"Hey, Butters," he called, waving a hand to get the blonde's attention. "I need to use your dad's drone."

Butters' face fell from a contented smile to a look of horror. "What!? No way, Eric! Don't you remember what happened last time we used the drone!? I'm not doing that again!" he yelped, scrambling to his feet and moving away from the boy. Kenny stood up as well, his eyes narrowing as he watched Cartman continue to slink closer.

"It'll be different this time," he promised, taking out the paper from his jacket. "See? I've written it all up. No accidental spying, this time it'll all be on purpose."

Butters glanced at the page, then up at Cartman's face. "...what is it?"

Stan and Kyle arrived then, Kyle's arms crossed and his face set in a look that clearly indicated he was already one-hundred percent done with whatever it was Cartman was doing.

"We're going to make so much money, you guys. Seriously, it's going to be fuckin' awesome," Cartman gushed before explaining. "So, the Asian girls are always watching Craig and Tweek for inspiration for their art, yeah? Well, I'm saying we should take the drone to film them together secretly and sell the girls the videos!"

"Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said, and you say a lot of stupid shit," Kyle snapped.

Prepared, Cartman whipped around to face him. "What the fuck is up, Kyle?" he snapped, surprising the other boys. Kyle opened his mouth to retaliate, but Cartman pushed on before he could say anything. "No, what did you say, dude? What the fuck, dude? Step the FUCK off, Kahl!" Each word was accompanied by a dramatic hand motion, and more than once he flashed the boy his crazy eyes.

Satisfied he had startled the other into complacency, Cartman turned back towards a very confused Butters. He never saw the fist coming towards him.

* * *

His eyes snapping open, Cartman shot up in bed, looking around and discovering himself in a hospital. Liane was there, sitting beside him and reading a magazine. When she saw he was awake, the magazine was thrown to the side and she grabbed his hand as he flopped back down.

"Oh, Eric!" she cried. "I've been so worried!"

"Ugh..." he moaned, her voice making his head pound. "What happened...? How did I get here?"

"I'm not sure, pumpkin," Liane cooed, fluffing her son's hair lightly. "Your little friends came to get me and said you were unconscious on the playground. I rushed you here. The doctor said you might have a mild concussion."

"How long have I been here?" he asked, a frown forming on his face.

"Only a few hours, don't worry, pookie." There was a light knock on the door, and the two looked over to see Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Butters in the doorway. Mrs. Cartman greeted them happily and stood up.

"I'll find you all some snacks and go speak with a doctor. Keep my darling Eric company, won't you boys?" she requested, taking off before they would answer. The boys shrugged and moved closer to Cartman's bed.

"What are you assholes doing here?" he snapped. He couldn't quite remember what had happened, but judging by the smug look on Kyle's face, it was something the other had done.

"We wanted to see if you were doin' okay," Butters said, climbing up onto the chair Liane had been using. "You got an awful big bump on your head, Eric." He seemed genuinely worried for the boy's condition, but Cartman knew that was more his personality than actual affection for him.

"What is that look for, _Kahl_?" Cartman growled suspiciously.

Kyle got into the chair beside Butters and leaned close. "My name. Is not. _Kahl_ ," he said, grinning knowingly.

"What did you do?" he demanded, sitting up on the bed.

"(Well, for sure he didn't punch you in the head hard enough to knock you on your face and give you a concussion. Definitely didn't do that,)" Kenny answered cheekily, winking at the injured boy.

"Don't be stupid, Kenny!" Cartman yelled. "Of course that didn't happen! Kyle is Jewish, he can't hit that hard!"

Kyle rolled his eyes and jumped down. "Come on, Stan we have a game to finish. Let's leave fat-ass to rest."

"AY! I'M NOT FAT!"

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	15. I, Personally, Am Quite Happy

Vine - When excitement overwhelms ur door skills, Dan Curtin

* * *

Clyde was looking forward to the meet up with his friend at his home for two reasons. One, it was the first time in three years the entirety of their group was home at the same time from their respective colleges. After high school, Craig and Tweek had taken off to Ohio for school, and Jimmy and Token had gone off to Cornell or some other giant ass school for smart people. Clyde had chosen not to go to school, but rather, had stayed home to be trained in the store and be taught the ins and outs of running a business. The second reason was related to said business.

A familiar knock on the front door made Clyde squeal with excitement. He was in his bedroom getting ready, his father having promised to let his friends in when they arrived.

Downstairs, Mr. Donovan opened the door, greeting the four standing on his porch happily. "Come on in, boys. It's nice to see you all," he said, gesturing them inside. He had put out snacks and some drinks for them, and the four thanked him and sat down.

"Where's Clyde?" Tweek asked, taking a handful of chips and beginning to munch on them hungrily.

"He's up in his room. He'll be down in just a minute. I have to head out to the shop, so have fun, and try not to break to much stuff," Mr. Donovan said with a smile. The boys waved goodbye, then struck up conversation.

"How has school been, guys?" Craig asked, resting his arm across the back of the couch, his silent invitation to have Tweek lean into him, which the blonde did. "Have either of you graduated early?"

"What, and kill myself?" Token laughed. "Fuck no, dude. I intend to graduate on time. I'll be trying to leave early in law school."

"I-I-I'm happy w-where I a-am," Jimmy added, shifting in his seat slightly. His crutches clacked and slid slightly from where he had placed them against the arm of the chair he had sat in. "W-W-W-Wh-Wha... W-W-What about y-y-you t-t-t-tw-, guys?"

"I'm doing alright," Craig answered. "I think my favorite classes are the welding ones, but Tweek doesn't like those."

Tweek huffed and crossed his arms. "Sorry, I don't like to see you covered in burns all the damn time."

Token and Jimmy grinned. "Aw, that's sweet," Token cooed.

Craig shook his head. "Nah, man. The first time I came back with burns, Tweek went to my shop class and kicked one of the stations, _my_ station, down. He broke a few of the plasma torches and we had to go in front of the conduct board and tell everyone he has uncontrollable fits sometimes."

"O-Oh, geeze." Jimmy looked between the two worriedly. "H-How d-di-did that all w-w-work out?"

"It was _fine_ ," Tweek assured. "Because it was a mental health issue and they didn't want to be sued for being intolerant, I got off with a warning and just got banded from that building was all."

The small group laughed, munching on the snacks and continuing to talk until half an hour had passed and things began to grow uncomfortable.

"Should I go up and get him?" Craig finally suggested, glancing towards the stairs. Mr. Donovan had made some renovations to the house since he had last visited, as the stairs were no longer open, but had been walled and put behind a door. This was likely due to the number of times Clyde had launched himself over the railing to get to the bottom faster, resulting in mild to severe injury.

Suddenly, they heard loud banging and thumps coming down the hidden steps. All four stared at the door, wondering if they should be concerned or not. Before they could put much thought into it, Clyde threw the door open, half falling through the doorway. He blinked at his friends and straightened. They watched him for a moment, then noticed his shoes were... flashing.

"I got new shoes," he told them.

There was a beat of silence, then the four laughed. Craig got up and crossed the room in a second, sprinting to his best friend. Clyde had no time to prepare himself before Craig smashed into him, sending them both to the ground in a mess of limbs.

Deciding this was, naturally, the best course of action, Token, then Tweek, and lastly Jimmy threw themselves onto the pile, smushing Clyde into the floor. The brunette laughed loudly, kicking his feet weakly in the air.

"Let me goooooo," he pushed out between giggles, and finally his friends agreed, standing and helping him do the same.

Once on his feet, Clyde grabbed a cookie and shoved the entire thing into his mouth, making his cheeks puff out like a squirrel. This made the boys' fits return, and they spent the next hour being dumb and young.

When they began to calm down, they collapsed across the furniture around the room, letting out sighs of exhaustion. Jimmy was back in his armchair, but was draped horizontally across it, his head on one armrest and his legs over the other. Token had splayed himself over the back of the couch, Craig having stolen all the cushion area. Clyde was on his back on the coffee table, all the snacks having been moved to the floor. Lastly, Tweek had pulled himself on top of the television cabinet and was curled up.

Clyde grinned and reached under the couch, pulling out the selfie-stick he had stashed there earlier in the day. Pushing it out all the way, he snapped a picture of them all together in their various places.

Mr. Donovan returned home to find the five in their positions, and he sighed fondly and just shook his head, moving past them into the kitchen. What a bunch of weirdos.

* * *

 **Sorry for another short chapter. My spring semester just restarted and I'm already super busy and already behind on sleep.**

 **To the guest who requested the waitressing series of vines: I love it, yes, I will do it, but I think I'll make that a chapter fic on it's own just because their are ten vines in total. I have a few ideas already, and sassy Tweek is a personal favorite of mine.**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	16. I'm Way Too Tired For This

Vine - Competent college classmates, Sarah Schauer

Requested by: Guer

* * *

Craig rubbed his eyes tiredly as he dropped into his chair. It was halfway through fall semester, and already he had been sick more times than he could count. His immune system sucked major ass, but two days ago, he'd been the sickest yet, unable to even get out of bed. Lucky for him, his roommate/boyfriend had emailed his professors to explain, and even gotten him soup.

Before he could be consumed by thoughts of how much he loved his spazzy blonde, his best friend Clyde sat down beside him, also looking exhausted. They smiled in greeting to one another, pulling out their notebooks.

Craig was grateful for the other boy since Clyde took surprisingly good notes, never missed class, and never got sick. He seemed to have an iron will that basically refused to be bossed around. Craig was almost a hundred percent positive that when Clyde died, he'd come back to life just out of spite.

"What's up, dude?" he asked. "Bad night of sleep?"

Clyde nodded, digging through his bag for a pencil. "Yeah, just couldn't get comfortable, you know?" Gripping the plastic cylinder, he yanked it free and grinned in triumph. "I saw Tweek's snap story," he added. "Sorry I didn't come see you, I just never had the spare time."

"No worries, I get. Besides, I could hardly entertain you and not puke all over you at the same time," Craig joked, getting a laugh.

"True, but still. Now that you're feeling better, we should all go out to celebrate. There's a Pizza Hut in town," the brunette suggested, balancing his pencil on his top lip. It didn't stay long, falling to the ground. As Clyde bent to pick it up, Craig nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I like pizza. You, me, Toke, Jimmy, and Tweek, right?" he clarified. He didn't dislike Clyde's girlfriend, Bebe, or Token's, Nicole, but it was tiring to hang out with girls for extended periods. Sometimes, it was nice to just have bro time.

Clyde snagged his pencil and put it on his notebook, then slumped down with his head resting on his arms. "Whatever you want, man. This is your not-dead celebration," he yawned.

The professor entered the classroom and greeted them, beginning the lecture and cutting off their conversation.

* * *

When the class ended, Craig looked between the board and his notes, understanding that he had written down everything the professor had said word for word, but that didn't mean he understood a single thing there. Maybe it was Clyde's fault, since he'd had to continuously nudge him awake every few minutes. Once the professor had left, Clyde had let his head fall back onto his desk and sighed loudly.

Craig rubbed his eyes and shifted to wake himself up a bit. Math was far from his best subject, and it was times like this he almost wished he drank coffee like Tweek. It seemed like it would be relatively useful to not be tired all the time. Then again, Tweek wasn't exactly the picture of health, so maybe it was a good thing he didn't drink the stuff like water.

The classroom was entirely empty aside from the pair when Craig let out a heavy sigh and turned to his half-asleep bestie. "Hey, I missed last class," he reminded him. "Could I borrow your notes?"

"Hurmgh...? Yeah, sure," he agreed, pulling a sheet of paper from his bag, handing it to him.

Craig looked down at the page, examining the doodles all over the margins and the top third of the paper. Down the right side was a list of reasons to either drop out or not. The only part in color was a sentence written in block letter and colored in with red pen which read: SOMEONE PULL THE FIRE ALARM, and under this, in tiny, cramped letters was spelled 'fuck' about thirty times.

He let out another sigh and fell back in his chair, letting his pencil drop. "Awesome..." he murmured in defeat. He didn't blame Clyde for having a day where he'd rather be a sad-sack, it was just unfortunate it happened to have been the same day he had missed.

Hearing him, Clyde sat up and looked at what he'd handed over. Blushing, he snatched the paper and grabbed out another one, shoving it into Craig's hand. "Sorry, that was just venting. These are the notes!"

Craig blinked at the slightly crumpled paper in his hands, then laughed. "Damn, do you need a hug or something?" he asked.

"Wait, would you really give me one?" Clyde asked hopefully.

To answer him, Craig yanked him out of his seat and straight onto his lap, hugging him close. "Now you tell your old friend Craig what's going on," he said, making his voice sound more like an old man's.

Clyde snorted and lightly punched his shoulder. "Nothing, I just like hugs."

"Funny, since you're probably the best hugger ever."

"Ooo, be careful, I don't want to make Tweek jealous," Clyde teased, standing up and stretching. He scooped his bag up, tossing it over his shoulder. "Speaking of, let's get going. I'm sure they're waiting for us now. Usually we get to lunch before them."

Checking the time, Craig gasped and nodded, jumping up and jumbling together all his things, stuffing them messily into his messenger bag. "Shit, Tweek is going to probably be freaking out." He pulled out his phone and called his boyfriend.

He had been half right: Tweek had been well on his way to freaking out, but Craig had caught him fast enough that he hadn't had the time to have a full-on melt down. The two groups met up quickly, Token and Jimmy waiting with the blonde.

"H-H-Hey, f-fellas," Jimmy said, smiling crookedly at the pair as they approached. "L-Lose track of t-t-ti... L-Lose track of t-tt-time?"

"We're both a bit tired today," Clyde said honestly, giving the two hugs and waving to Tweek, knowing that the blonde only really tolerated physical affection from Craig. Tweek smiled and waved back.

"What's up?" Token asked as they made their way into the union after swiping their IDs.

"I couldn't sleep last night and Craig's getting over being sick, remember?" the brunette answered.

They three looked over at their friends, Craig having draped his arm around Tweek's shoulders, making him blush pink. He didn't seem as uncomfortable as usual though, if anything moving closer to him.

"Aw, Tweek is still taking care of him," Token observed as they trailed behind the couple into the kitchen area.

"W-What do you m-m-mea-m-mean?" Jimmy shuffled towards a counter to the side, which daily had something different being prepared in front of the students, wanting to see what it was. Discovering Texas toast grilled cheese, he grabbed a plate, moving into the line with Token and Clyde behind him.

"If Craig has a fever, Tweek will be able to tell better if he stands close enough to feel how warm he is," he explained, grabbing two plates. They went through the line quickly, getting their sandwiches and drinks before heading back to sit.

"That's so fucking cute, I think I'm going to kill myself," Clyde said, his eyes turning stary. Since the two had begun to date years ago, Clyde had been their number one supporter, being the only boy in school to support the Asian girls' art of Craig and Tweek. Not that they hadn't supported the relationship itself, it had just felt weird to them to buy art of their friends. Clyde hadn't cared, though.

"Don't be dramatic," Token chuckled, rolling his eyes.

"C-Come on, Clyde. Be a s-s-str-s-stron-s-better man," Jimmy tacked on.

The couple joined them soon after, and the group ate together in peace before setting out for the rest of their classes.

* * *

 **potato pants: I think I know which vine you want, but when I googled your request, it gave me three different vines. Could you give me a little more for that one? I'm totally down to do it, I just need a bit more help! (if you don't want to leave a review for it, feel free to pm me!)**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	17. Fuck Off! Oh, Wait, No, Stop Crying

Vine - They always wanna do what I'm doing, Victor Cosme

* * *

Cracking his knuckles, Kyle looked across the table at Stan, who was holding up his phone to film. In the ginger boy's hand was a plastic cup, and he played with it idly as he waited for his cue. When he got a nod, a smile formed on his face and he stepped into the shot.

He began to perform the opening part of the new, popular song "Cups". It had become a craze at their elementary school, and for once, Kyle wasn't going to be left behind. Stan had forced him to go and see Pitch Perfect in the theater with him, and much to his surprise, he had enjoyed it immensely. Now, he and Stan would say quotes to one another constantly, which irritated Cartman to no end, which in turn encouraged them more. Before it left the theater, they took Kenny so he could be in on the joke.

Unfortunately, Kyle's mother had noticed the sudden interest in acapella her eldest son had developed. This had led to a very aca-awkward conversation with Mrs. Broflovski telling him they still loved him even if he was gay, and he didn't need to be afraid to come out to her husband and her. A motion in the corner of his eye brought Kyle's attention back to the task at hand, and he saw Ike appear next to him, having hopped up on the extra chair. He started to follow Kyle's motions and sing along with him.

The older of the two threw his hand out to the side, smacking the cup across the kitchen. "You always want to do what I'm doing," he said, pausing his performance to turn to his brother. "Why can't you just find your own thing once and a while? What happened to you not wanting anything to do with me and calling us grandpas?"

Ike said nothing, just watched him in silence for a few moments. He soon got back down and retrieved his cup, leaving the kitchen.

Kyle watched him go and bit his lip. "You... You don't think I was too harsh, do you?" he asked, glancing towards Stan, who had cut the recording. "I mean, I'm just trying to hang out with you."

"I don't think so, dude, but I'm not the one you have to worry about," Stan pointed out. "Will Ike tell your mom?"

"Hmm... Probably not?" he decided. "I mean, she would be mad if she knew what I did, but Ike isn't supposed to bother me when I had friends over either."

The two fell quiet, listening for the sounds of Sheila Broflovski's screech of "WHAT WHAT WHAT!?" or the thunder of footsteps that warned them to bail out the backdoor. Hearing nothing out of the ordinary, Stan suggested they try again, turning back on his camera and going to record.

Kyle got through the entire song uninterrupted, and Stan saved the video and texted it to his super best friend with a smile.

"That was aca-awesome," Stan laughed as they went out the back door into the yard, heading towards Kyle's tree house. "I don't care what Cartman says, you totally have rhythm." They climbed up into the little house in the tree, sitting on the blankets and pillows littering the floor.

"I just didn't want to 'get gay with kids'," Kyle huffed, crossing his arms. "It was stupid and I didn't want to do it. Why would I put a ton of effort into something I wasn't enjoying?"

"I don't think you're wrong, it was weird. And whoever named that organization either didn't think through how the name sounded, or might have been a pedophile. I still haven't figured that one out," Stan agreed, flopping back onto a cushion.

"Maybe it was both."

"Possible."

They spent the rest of the day in the tree house, joking and playing games. As the sun began to set, Stan said his goodbyes and returned home, leaving Kyle to go into his house. He entered the kitchen and opened the fridge, looking for a snack. Taking an apple, he shut the door and turned to go into the living room, pausing when he saw Ike sitting on the couch.

The toddler was hugging his blanket balled up to his chest. The slump in his shoulders told the boy that the other had been crying recently, if not just moments ago. Feeling guilt welling up in his chest, he moved closer.

"...Ike?" he called softly, making his brother jump in surprise.

Reaching him, Kyle glanced at the television, his eyes widening slightly when he saw Ike was watching Pitch Perfect. He looked back at the tiny child. "Oh, Ike... I'm sorry I got mad at you earlier," he said, climbing up onto the couch beside him. "I know you just wanted to play with us, and I shouldn't have turned you away so meanly."

Ike sniffed. "No, you shouldn't," he agreed, his voice thick from crying.

"Well... if you want... I can watch this with you," he offered, gesturing to the paused movie that was still running. It had just reached the part of the main character, Bella, going around to look at clubs. "But I totally understand if you don't want me too-!"

"Kyle," Ike interrupted, catching his attention. "Shut the fuck up and just watch."

The two smiled at one another, then settled back into the couch. Their mother found them a few hours later, curled up together asleep as the credits scrolled over the screen. She cooed lovingly to her sons, and called her husband to come and see. Snapping a few pictures as any mother would, Sheila and Gerald scooped the boys up and took them to their rooms, tucking them in for the night.

Before heading to bed themselves, the couple stood in the hallway outside the bedrooms, looking at the doors fondly.

"We're raising some good boys, Gerald," Sheila commented, and her husband nodded.

"Absolutely, sweetheart. The very best."

* * *

 **habd: I'm really sorry, I can't do that vine, it makes me uncomfortable and I wouldn't be able to come up with a story for it. Feel free to suggest another if you would like, though!  
**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	18. Maybe I Was Wrong

Vine - I like BOYS, unknown

Request by: hypochondriac-butters (Tumblr)

* * *

Wendy and Bebe sat together in the backyard of Wendy's house, relaxing in the sunlight. School had just gotten out, and they were enjoying a short time of piece together before they would have to part ways and head out to their jobs, Wendy at the Mayor's office, and Bebe to the cafe to assist Tweek with the evening rush.

They were seventeen, seniors in high school, and discussing plans for college once they graduated. Wendy was thinking about political science and peace studies while Bebe considered fashion. As best friends from kindergarten, they held no secrets from one another. At least, that's what the pair thought. Wendy was beginning to have the suspicion that Bebe might be hiding something from her, though potentially on accident.

"Hey, Bebe?" she asked as they gathered their things to head inside.

"Yeah?" the curly haired blonde answered, turning to face her. She looked much the same as she had when they were younger, only now she was taller, her hair longer, and her style more... well, to be frank, it was very butch.

"Do you like girls?" Wendy didn't know how else to ask than by being direct. She also hadn't changed much, even her clothing had remained. What could she say, she really liked the color lavender.

Bebe snorted and laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "No, Wendy. I like boys," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" They hugged quickly, then separated, heading to their jobs.

Wendy wasn't convinced at all by Bebe's words. It was hard to put her finger on it; she didn't think Bebe was a lesbian because of her outfits (she wasn't one to stereotype), it was something about Bebe's personality and the way she interacted with others. She couldn't describe it with words, so she left it for the moment, needing to focus. Mayor McDaniels was getting ready to run for reelection, and Wendy's assignment was to make a convincing ad campaign.

* * *

Two weeks later, the girls were all together for a slumber party at Nicole's house. Many of them would be leaving South Park for college in a few months, and most didn't intend to come back, at least not for a while. As such, they were having their final, giant party before May, as it was the last time they would all be available to attend.

As the party began to wind down after a few crazy hours, the few that remained awake sat together in a circle, playing truth or dare. Nicole, Nelly, Bebe, Red, and Wendy were the final hold outs, each of them to tired to think of dares as the game dissolved into truth or truth.

"Um... Wendy, truth or whatever..." Red murmured from her spot on the floor where she had curled up on her side under a blanket.

"Truth," she yawned, shifting slightly to wake up.

"When did you stop being in love with Stan?" Tired 'ooo's sounded from the other three.

"Uh, I dunno, when we were in middle school? I figured out he was gay before he did," Wendy answered after a moment of thought. "I just remember realizing it one morning and deciding to stop liking him after that."

"And to punt his ass into Kyle," Nelly pipped up, causing a round of giggles. When this subsided, Wendy chose Bebe and the girl chose truth as well.

"Do you like girls?" It wasn't the question she had meant to ask, but her sleepy brain forced it from her mouth before she could stop it.

Bebe frowned and lifted her head from her pillow. "No, Wendy, I still don't like girls. I didn't last time you asked me either."

Shortly after, the game ended as they dropped off to sleep. Wendy was the last one awake, watching her best friend roll over. If she had been unsure before, she was positive now: Bebe was lying and didn't even know it.

As her friend, it was Wendy's duty to help, and she vowed to do just that as her eyes sank shut.

* * *

The next month was the hardest Wendy and Bebe had ever been through together. Along with worrying about finals, applying for college and loans, their jobs, and everything else that came with life, Wendy had added constant pestering about Bebe's sexuality.

The blonde was fast losing patience for her best friend, and the weekend before graduation, the tension broke.

They lay side by side on the Testaburger driveway, tanning in silence, enjoying one another's company. Each had a small tub of ice cream with them, and after half an hour, they turned onto their stomachs.

Bebe was facing away from Wendy, so she didn't see the girl as she sat up, looking at her with determination gleaming in her eyes. Wendy knew this moment would be an important time in their history together, she just didn't know if it would be good or bad.

"Bebe," she said, "if you like girls, I'm not going to judge you."

Before the words were fully out of her mouth, Bebe whipped around and pushed herself up to sit down facing Wendy. "STOP!" she shrieked. "I. Like. BOYS!" This statement was followed immediately by a hand gesture that made Wendy blush. Bebe turned to yell again and Wendy knew it was time.

She leaned forward and gently pressed her lips against Bebe's cutting off any further sound. She didn't press closer or try to pull Bebe into her. She was still, letting the blonde decide what to do. Lucky for Wendy, the decision was quick.

Bebe kissed her back with a passion Wendy didn't know she had wanted. Bebe was also a lot stronger than she had thought, though she supposed Tweek got a work out lifting all the huge bags of coffee beans, why wouldn't Bebe as well? The blonde put her arms around her, hugging her close.

When they finally parted, they blinked at each other for a while before Wendy smiled slightly, and Bebe let a smirk form on her face.

"Okay. Maybe I do like girls."

* * *

 **habd: No worries! You didn't do anything wrong! Again, please feel free to suggest another one if you'd like!**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	19. Shut The Hell Your Mouth

Vine - people that say this, Dan Curtin

* * *

A rare occurrence had transpired in the Tweak household: Tweek had had a sleep over. The forever paranoid child had only had a group of people over once before in the third grade, but that had been for a school project, thus his parents had not counted it. This time, it was a group of boys that genuinely wanted to spend time with their son.

It was highly successful as well, as far as the couple was concerned. The five had stayed in the living room, Tweek's room too much of a disaster zone for them to try and sleep there. They had spent the entire night watching movies, playing games, and taking before crashing.

Token, Jimmy, Clyde, and Craig were curled up in their sleeping bags on the floor, Tweek sitting on the couch scrolling through Twitter when his mother came down the next morning. She smiled, purposefully making the stair creek under her to alert her son to her presence as to not scare him. That would lead to screaming, which would then lead to four half-awake, panicking boys, and end with her husband running downstairs to see what was wrong.

Tweek looked over his shoulder at the noise and his lips twitched as he tried to smile. It had been almost a full week since he had last slept, the excitement for this get together being the newest thing keeping him awake. The boys had tried to help tire him out, but as he was already well past exhausted, it hadn't helped.

She kissed his forehead gently, and brewed a fresh pot of coffee in the pot on the end table in the living room so Tweek wouldn't need to leave his friends to get his drink. Next, she started on breakfast, and soon the delicious scent of cinnamon rolls roused the children.

Mrs. Tweak couldn't help but spy from from the kitchen, and warmth filled her heart when the first thing Craig did upon waking was turn to Tweek to check on him and say 'good morning'. The ten-year-old even got a full smile; it seemed when Craig was involved, Tweek had no problem finding the energy to do things.

It was Saturday morning, which usually meant the small family would have opened the cafe together early and worked until night, but this was a special occasion, and the Tweak's gladly allowed their son to stay home and play with his friends.

Soon the boys were munching away on the sweet pastries. Tweek, Craig, and Jimmy were sitting on the couch, Token and Clyde on pillows on the floor. The sound of cartoons filled the house, along with the boys' laughter.

Tweek was drinking the coffee directly from the pot since it had cooled, knowing none of his friends would want any. He chugged down a few mouthfuls as his father came downstairs, adjusting his collar. Mrs. Tweak handed her husband a mug and he smiled.

Jokingly, he raised it towards the boys. "You wouldn't like me before my coffee," he chuckled before taking a sip.

Whispering so only his friends could hear, Tweek snapped back an answer. "So weird because I fucking hate you. All- Every- All the time. Everyday." He said this looking at the floor, and the four whipped around to stare at him in silent awe.

The Tweaks, having no idea what had just happened, continued to smile and go about their routine of preparing to leave. They were out of the house only a few minutes later, and as soon as they lock clicked into place, the laughter began.

"Holy Hell, Tweek, I've never heard you say something like that before!" Clyde hooted, pounding his fist on the floor beside him, tears in his eyes.

"B-Beautiful," Jimmy forced out between laughs, Token just shaking his head and giggling.

Tweek blushed, and glanced over at his boyfriend, squeaking in surprise to find the other staring at him with large, sparkling eyes.

"Babe, that was amazing," he said. It took the blonde a full minute to realize he was being praised, that the look on Craig's face was pride.

He opened his mouth to speak, but a yawn escaped him instead. Setting the almost empty coffee pot to the side, he rested his head on Craig's shoulder, rubbing his eyes. He had been awake for so long his entire body was in a constant state of dull pain. Even his clothes just bushing his skin hurt somewhat, yet he found that contact with Craig didn't hurt. Rather, it was quite soothing to his aching body.

The laughed died down, and the group tried not to watch the uncommon action of Tweek Tweak falling asleep, but failed miserably. Luckily, Tweek was either too tired to notice he was being watched, or he just didn't have the energy to care. Either way, he was soon asleep, curled up against Craig's side.

Clyde's eyes began to water once more, and Token whispered to him, "Dude, what's wrong?"

"It's just... so precious..." he sniffed, rubbing his face with his sleeve. Rolling his eyes and turning to say something to Craig, Token paused when he caught sight of his friend's expression.

Craig's eyes were soft, a gentle smile taking over his features. He put his arm around Tweek's shoulders, adjusting their positions slightly so Tweek was more laying down on him than being at an awkward angle that would surely have ended with the boy hurting himself.

Deciding not to break the mood, the three focused back on the television and their rolls, leaving Craig and Tweek to their gay, but cute as fuck, moment.

When Tweek did finally awake up a few hours later, Craig had fallen back asleep as well, lulled by the blonde's smooth breathing. Token, Clyde, and Jimmy were on the floor, playing a video game. None of them noticed he was awake, and he made no effort to enlighten them.

He chose instead to look up at his boyfriend and smile. He was lucky to have Craig, he knew that. Craig was easily the best=looking boy in their class, he didn't care what the girls' dumb list had said. Every time he saw him, he wanted to just scream with happiness. Sometimes he did, and people let him, figuring it was something else causing the sound.

Stretching slightly, he settled back into the sleeping boy and let his eyes drift shut. A successful sleepover, sassing his dad without getting caught, and now actually getting some rest? With Craig even?

It seemed today everything was coming up Tweek.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	20. Help Me Out Here

Vine - So I'm sitting there, BBQ sauce on my titties, 666chainz

Requested by: TCONilhilm

* * *

"Bebe, I need your help."

Under pretty much any other circumstance, the girl would have told Clyde a flat 'no' and walked away, but the shear desperation in his voice made her stop and consider helping him, which for him, was the same thing as getting a 'yes'.

"So, um, you know how Token is like, my best bro ever?" he started, shuffling from foot to foot nervously.

"Yeah? What about him?" Bebe ventured, her eyes narrowed slightly. Since the mass break up of all the girls from the guys, the relationship between the two groups had been strained. This didn't mean that the girls necessarily hated the boys, but it did make just talking to them harder. "Nicole isn't going to take him back, and I'm not taking you back either."

Clyde blinked at her dumbly for a moment, then his eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. "No no, I don't want Nicole to go out with him again, or to go out with you!" At her offended look, he backtracked. "Not that you aren't super cool and nice and sweet and stuff, 'cause you are! I-It's just that, well, I... I kind of have like... a little, tiny... crush... on him?" His voice grew softer with each word until he whispered out the end of his sentence.

It was Bebe's turn to look shocked then. "Wait, really? You aren't just saying that? Are you just wanting to be gay like Craig and Tweek?"

"I just... I never realized boys were an actual opinion, you know?" Clyde looked at the ground, scuffing at a tile with his shoe. "I've always really liked Token. Until Craig and Tweek became a thing, I just thought he was my best bro, aside from Craig. But now, now I know I don't like Token in the same way I like Craig."

He lifted his head, and was surprised to see Bebe's eyes were shinning and a brilliant grin was on her face. "I can totally help you with that, Clyde. Oh my gosh, it's so adorable I think I might die."

"Can you do that after you help me?"

Bebe punched him hard in the arm, making the boy leap back with a pained yelp, rubbing the sore spot. She smiled, tossing her hair over her shoulder before heading down the hall, grabbing onto his sleeve and yanking him behind her.

"What are we doing?" he asked, stumbling behind her as he attempted to regain his balance.

"We're going to get to class and wait for him," she answered. "We want to look casual, not panicked, so it's best to get to class early to set up!"

Entering the class, they found a few other kids were already there, though none seemed interested in the new arrivals. They settled quickly into their desks, Clyde watching the door. He wiggled in his seat, chewing on his lip.

"So, what is the actual plan here, Bebe?" he whispered. "I can't just straight out say I like him, I'm way too nervous to tell him!"

Bebe raised an eyebrow at this, but didn't comment. deciding to continue on. "When he comes in, don't say anything to him," she commanded. "Wait for him to come over to talk to you. We'll be pretending to have a conversation, so as he's coming over, say something to me. I'll excuse myself from this seat and move over by Wendy to let Token sit here. Since you apparently can't just tell him, I suggest you make a move and just kiss him."

"What!? Are you insane!? I can't do that!" Clyde squealed, pulling at his face with his fingers.

"Well, you don't have much of a choice, Mr. I'm-Too-Nervous-To-Tell-Him!"

Clyde went to snap back, but Bebe stopped him, her eyes focused over his shoulder. He couldn't help but stiffen as his mind when blank. Why hadn't she told him what to say to her here!? He couldn't think of anything!

He heard the footsteps of his crush getting closer. His heart was beating so loudly he couldn't hear anything over it, but somehow, he still made out his name coming from the other boy. Bebe was staring at him, silently signalling him to speak.

Before he could stop himself, or even think through his words, he said, "So, I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties-" He was cut off by a sudden loud snort behind him, then the sound of Token's laugh filled the classroom.

Turning the color of a cherry, Clyde slowly looked around to face him. He blinked when he saw no one there, then realized the boy had fallen to the floor. He looked down, finding Token laying on the ground and rolling side to side as he laughed out loud.

"H-Hey, Toke, you alright?" he asked, getting up to offer him a hand.

Accepting it, Token let Clyde pull him back onto his feet, a bright smile on his face. "What conversation did I just walk into?" he chuckled, sliding into the newly open desk beside the brunette. Clyde was surprised, having not seen or heard Bebe leave, but he let it go. He had to do her only suggestion. He didn't have a choice!'

"So... Token... We're best friends, right?" he started nervously.

"I thought Craig was your best friend," Token answered, the smile on his face showing he was teasing.

Clyde huffed. "I can have more than one, and you are definitely another."

"Then yeah, I would say we're best friends. Why?"

"Would you ever stop being my friend?"

"No... why?" The smile was gone now, replaced with a look of perplexion.

"Even if I did something really, really stupid?"

Token frowned. "Clyde, why are you asking me that? What did you do?"

Clyde took a steady breath, then leaned forward and kissed the other. It didn't last long, only a few seconds, but Clyde pulled back with a burning face. "That," he whispered.

He glanced at his friend, finding him in shock.

"Token?"

Shaking his head quickly, Token stared at his friend. "... Clyde, why did you do that?" he asked softly.

"U-Um... it's because... I like... you...?"

The next thing Clyde knew, he was tackled onto the ground, Token grabbing him into a hug. They crashed to the floor heavily, but Clyde didn't care. Token was hitting him. He wasn't saying they weren't friends any more. He cautiously hugged him back, wondering what this could mean. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long before Token answered his silent question.

"I like you, too."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	21. This Wasn't As Bad As I Feared

Vine - Ninja Sex Party, patrickwilliamcharlton

* * *

Kyle was a little nervous, though he would never admit it. He was getting ready to meet his boyfriend of five years' best friend from his home town in South Park. Looking up the tiny place, Kyle was a bit on edge due to the smallness of the place and its location. Small towns tended to... not be open to his and Stan's lifestyle.

In his head it made sense that of course everything would be alright; Stan wouldn't have continued a close friendship with someone who was bigoted. But... as life with his own family had taught him, even those who loved you sometimes weren't as open minded as they thought. When Stan had meet his parents four years ago, his parents had tried to be supportive, but they hadn't stopped asking him since if he was absolutely sure he was gay. It was tiring.

Luckily, the Marsh's had been much more open. Sharon, Stan's mother, was a regular doll. Extremely sweet, she loved her son deeply and had been warm and welcoming to Kyle when they had meet about two months after Kyle's disastrous introduction of Stan to his parents. It had taken a lot of coaxing on Stan's part, but Kyle had finally agreed to go and meet Stan's family. It was better to get it over with if it was going to be bad.

Even Randy, Stan's father, hadn't been bad, if a bit strange.

Now, they were both graduated from the college they had met at, and moving into an apartment together in Denver. To help them, Kyle's friend David had driven up to the city from his restaurant. Stan's friend, Kenny, was making a bit of a longer drive, but the couple had promised to buy the two dinner for helping them.

Now the three were waiting for the Kenny to arrive. They stood together out on the sidewalk, chatting lightly. Stan had meet David a few years before due to him being closer to the couple. Kyle tried to focus on the conversation, but his eyes continued to drift back to the road.

Stan's hand brushed his lightly, snapping his attention back to the two. Or one, as he discovered. "David went in to get a drink. Are you okay?" he asked, worry in his eyes. He knew Kyle was suspicious of introductions after his parents, but he did his best to show him not everyone would have a negative reaction.

"Yeah, I'm alright," he assured, giving him a small smile back. "Just... you know."

Stan nodded slightly, pulling him into a hug. "Ken is super chill, dude. He is the absolute last person you have to worry about being weird about stuff. He had a really strange home-life. He doesn't judge anyone for anything."

Kyle let out a breath and nodded, soothed for the moment. They went together up to the apartment, Stan sending a text to Kenny that told him they had gone back up because it was hot and they didn't want to wait any longer. About two milliseconds later, his phone dinged, Kenny having responded with a 'okay' hand sign emoji.

When he finally did arrive, he pulled up behind the moving van. His car turned off as the three came out of the building to meet the movers, and Stan's face lit up. He sprinted from the door to his friend, tackling him in a hug.

"Ken! It's great to see you, buddy! How's Butters? Dude, I haven't see you in forever!" he laughed, Kenny stumbling back a few steps with the sudden weight hitting him, but managing to stay on his feet.

The ginger man watched fondly. He loved to see Stan excited for things. Smiles were meant to live on him, and any other expression seemed off. At least to Kyle it did.

Kenny laughed, crushing his friend in a bear hug. "It's good to see you too, bro." They separated, and Stan yanked him back over to Kyle and David, introducing them. Kenny looked Kyle up and down quizzically, and Kyle felt himself bristle. Was this guy going to try and square up? Oh, he would be in for a surprise, if he did. He might not look like much, but growing up mostly in Jersey had taught him a thing or two, and if-!

His mental tirade was cut off as Kenny suddenly nodded his head and smiled before looking back at Stan

"I approve, Stan. He's cute a f," he said, winking and making Stan blush.

"Come on, Ken," he muttered, a small smile still present. Kyle raised an eyebrow, not getting the joke. Did Kenny just give him a damn once-over? Before he could challenge this, boxes began to get unloaded, and the four set to work getting everything up to the apartment.

Soon, the front room of the apartment was filled with boxes, and Stan suggested Kyle stay and start opening boxes or moving them to the correct rooms while the other three grabbed more things. He agreed and he began to shift boxes around, dragging them into various areas. As luck would have it, Kenny and Kyle ended up alone together in the living room as Stan and David went down to get the final few things.

An awkward silence stretched out between them, Kyle pointedly not looking at the other, Kenny standing with his hands in his pockets. Unfortunately for Kyle, Kenny didn't seem uncomfortable at all, thus he was the one to break the silence, grasping for anything to make the weirdness go away.

"So... did you go to college?" he asked. He didn't mean it in a cruel way, or say it with any judgment. It was just the only thing he could think of to talk about seeing as it was one of the biggest things that had dominated his life until recently.

Kenny was quite for a moment, then said, "Yeah. I got my degree 'n everything." Kyle, still refusing to look at him, didn't see the playfulness that took over the other man.

"From what University?" he asked as he picked up a box and carried it into the kitchenette.

"From the University of Keeping It Real."

Kyle blinked, then turned to face Kenny, discovering that at some point, he had put on sunglasses like the one from the 'deal with it' meme. "Did you just... are you memeing at me?" he asked in confusion.

"I gotta be honest, I haven't heard someone use meme as a verb before," Kenny laughed. "But yeah, I'm fucking with you. No, I didn't go to school. I'm way to poor for that fancy shit."

"Oh... I'm sorry," Kyle murmured, his cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment.

Kenny waved a hand. "Nah, man, don't worry about it. You didn't know, we're all good."

Stan and David returned shortly with the final bits of furniture. "Right," he said, wiping his forehead with the hem of his shirt. "Who's up for food?" Agreeing quickly, the four piled in to Stan's car and they took off into Denver.

As they drove, Kenny switched between light chatter about someone named Butters (Stan had said that name when he had arrived too, Kyle wondered who it was), and teasing Stan. He was very polite to David, and Kyle finding himself taking a liking to the man.

He stayed out of the conversation himself, preferring to listen. He allowed himself to smile, settling his arm on the window sill and resting his chin on his palm. Maybe it would be okay to start trusting people again. Just a little.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	22. If Only It Was Possible To Ignore You

Vine- Goddammit Kevin!, WEIRD Vidz

Requested by: habd

* * *

The door to the hotel room opened with a soft click, then was thrown wide open by four teenage boys. They burst into the room, tossing their suitcases onto the double beds, claiming spots.

Kyle settled onto the bed closer to the door just as Cartman dropped his bag down beside him.

"I'm not sleeping in a bed next to you, Cartman! You'd crush me!" Kyle snapped, tossing Cartman's things onto the next bed over to leave room for his super best friend. Stan quickly took up the offer, flinging himself onto the mattress face first, leaving Kenny to jump onto the bed closer to the window.

Cartman whined for a moment about having to sleep with Kenny because his poorness might be contagious, but quickly let it go. They had been traveling all day, the junior class of South Park High School making its way slowly to Washington D.C. They didn't want to make the trip, seeing as it took place for a full week over summer, but it was a requirement to graduate the next year.

At the very least, everyone else was in the same miserable boat, aside from Token, who had been the only one excused because his parents were going to be in D.C for a conference anyway at that time. It was agreed he would go with his parents and only join the class for the actual activities. This turned out lucky for only Craig and those guys, who no longer had to worry about which of them would be the left out number five.

Kenny popped up from the bed, exploring the decent sized room with interest. Maybe someone had left something behind and a cleaning person had missed.

"How close are we?" Stan asked, hauling himself into a sitting position beside Kyle, glancing over the other's shoulder at his phone. "It feels like we've been traveling for forever. It's been two days, we have to almost be there."

"Actually, we should get there tomorrow," Kyle answered, his eyes skimming the map on the screen. "Eight hours every day in a bus is pretty hard, but the stops every few hours is what's making it feel worse. From this hotel, we have about eight hours to go. Regardless of anything else, this time tomorrow, we'll be in D.C."

The pair listening to him let out weak cheers, too tired to be properly enthusiastic.

Kenny's excited cheer drew their attention, and they looked over to see he had discovered a closet full of pillows. He pulled them out, squishing them happily. They were the softest pillows he had ever felt in his life.

"Kenny, gimme a pillow," Cartman yelled from his position. He was laying across the bed, and didn't seem as though he intended to move until the next morning.

With a grin, Kenny whipped a pillow across the room, smashing it into Cartman's head. With a yelp, the larger boy fell off the bed.

"Motherfucker!" he snarled, getting to his feet and snatching up the pillow. Nervously, Kenny backed into the short hallway between the door and the rest of the room, pulling the roll bed out of the closet to be a barrier between them.

Kyle and Stan watched as Cartman moved closer and flailed the pillow over the bed, trying to hit the other.

"Cartman, don't," he said in exasperation. "Cartman. Cartman!" Cartman swung again, coming dangerously close to hitting the wall light beside him.

Hoping to keep a disaster from occurring, he called his name until the fat teen glanced at him. "Watch the light, dude," he said, pointing to the fixture. Together, Cartman and Kenny looked at the glass ball, appraising it.

"(Oh, did you-)" Kenny was cut off as Cartman suddenly swung the pillow in his hand. Before the three could react, the pillow smashed the light to pieces, sending glass flying into Kenny. Cartman smirked triumphantly, then was tackled to the floor by Stan as Kyle rushed to check on their friend.

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you!?" Stan snapped. His exhaustion and frustration had mixed together into a ball of irritation caused directly by the other teen. "If you seriously hurt him, I swear to God."

"He's okay!" Kyle reported. "Just a few cuts." Pulling Kenny to his feet, the pair went into the bathroom and Kyle helped him to clean the cuts with warm water, being sure to remove all the glass.

"Dude, we have to go tell the teacher," Stan groaned. He had just wanted to sleep...

"It's not that big of a deal!" Cartman protested. "He's fine!"

"It is a big deal!" Kyle snarled back through the open door. "It doesn't matter that he's okay, you could have really hurt him, you fucking dickhead!"

"(Fuck you, Cartman, you're a fucking asshole!)" Kenny added in.

"It's not fair when you all gang up on me like this!"

"You brought this onto yourself." Getting up, Stan made his way towards the door. Hearing Cartman scrabbling to stand behind him, he picked up the pace, sprinting from the room.

Crashing into the hallway, it became an all-out chase as the two thundered down the hall, screaming. The doors to the other rooms opened and students looked out to see what the actual fuck was going on.

Seeing Stan and Cartman, they began to follow. With those two, if it didn't end in a brawl, something else, equally fun to watch would.

Stan turned the corner and slammed into a body, sending them both heavy to the ground. A second later, Cartman tripped on their prose forms, flattening them. They trio groaned in pain, but the sound from the third caused the Stan and Cartman to freeze. Looking down, they discovered they had steamrolled over Craig.

Jumping to their feet, they tried to run, but the hall behind them was too crowded to pass though.

Suddenly, the door to their right opened, and Tweek stepped outside.

Stan and Cartman looked at the blonde with wide eyes, their legs going cold as fear rose in their chests.

"Ack! Craig!" For the moment, Tweek ignored them in favor of checking on his trampled boyfriend of eight years. "What happened? Are you okay!? Oh, God! ARE YOU DYING!?"

Craig shook his head. "I'm okay. Just a little sore," he assured him. "Marsh and Cartman decided to be fucking stupid and crash into me is all."

Tweek's head snapped to face them so fast, the class though he might have broken his neck. "Oh, so this is their fault?" he murmured, slowly rising to his feet. In the doorway of their room, Clyde and Jimmy were filming with their phones.

"You guys hurt Craig, then try to leave like it was nothing?" he growled, his hands balling into fists. "What is _wrong_ with you!?"

An air of excitement sparked through the students, and they began to egg Tweek on with agreements and calls for pay back. "Don't let them get away with it, Tweek! Kick their asses! Punch the shit out of them!"

Tweek glanced down at Craig, and the sight of his face, already beginning to bruise, was more than enough. He pounced.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	23. Food Was Not Meant To Be A Weapon

Vine - We're all bakers now, patrickwilliamcharlton

* * *

Hanging out at Token's house after school was the routine for Craig and his friends. In third grade they hadn't been allowed to go out so often, but fourth grade meant more freedom, which meant only Token never left his house since he didn't need too.

Craig, Tweek, Clyde, and Jimmy were lounging around the rich boy's basement, talking and trying to decide what they would do. Jimmy suggested they play board games, but was quickly shot down. It led to Craig suggesting a video game, and Tweek agreed, so long as he got to pick the game. Knowing the spazzy blonde tended to have pretty good taste, they all agreed.

While Tweek searched through Token's PS4's game list, the other four began to chat about school.

"I'm so pissed. How did you get the teacher to partner you with Tweek? He doesn't even have the same homeroom as us," Clyde whined, turning himself so his head hung over the edge of the couch, his legs stuck up in the air.

Craig grinned. "When you don't want to be offensive or seem homophobic, people do a lot more for you than they usually would." He paused, then added, "That, and I'm pretty sure if Tweek tried to do this project with someone else he might kill them."

"What, why? What did you pick to give a presentation on?" Token asked.

"We're doing ours on space, duh. I meant Tweek would kill them either for not listening to his input and letting him help, or doing the opposite and being forced to do the entire thing. The teacher knows she doesn't have to worry about that with me, at least," he explained.

"Ugh, still bs," Clyde huffed.

"What, do you not want to be partnered with me?" Token nudged his side teasingly, making the slightly chubby boy squeal and shake his head quickly.

"That's not what I meant, Toke!" he backtracked, worried he had offend his friend. "I'm just looking for something to talk about, I guess!"

Craig came to his rescue, asking Jimmy what he and Timmy were going to do instead. Jimmy's eyes lit up, and the three gladly listened to him explain the expansion they were planning from their water bear experiments.

"S-Since we don't k-kn-know ex-exactly what N-N-Nathan and Mimsy d-did, we're b-back to the hokey pokey," he said. "But w-we're hoping to move them o-on to h-head shoulders k-k-knees and t-to-t-toes."

Tweek's triumphant sound caught their attention, and they all turned to see the blonde had chosen Over Watch. Nods were exchanged, then the controllers were synced with the system and they began a group match. After a hat trick of victories, they hit a hard losing streak, going five in oh. Discouraged, Clyde shut off his controller and went downstairs to get himself a snack.

This was a normal thing to have happen, and none of the boys thought anything of it until almost half an hour passed and the brunette had yet to return. Ending the battle, they set down the controllers then went to search for their friend.

As a group they moved into the kitchen, calling for their friend. A crash came from behind them, and they turned to find Clyde up on the counter, having knocked over some pots and pans. Tucked under his arm was a bag of Wonder Bread, and he grinned at them excitedly.

"My ultimate is 'bread'y!" he called out, reaching into the bag and pulling out a piece of white bread. "I have you in my slice!" Before any of them could move, Clyde ran along the counter top, throwing the fluffy goodness at them. A slice landed on top of Token head, and the brunette laughed. Leaping from the end of the counter to the ground, he ran from the kitchen, taunting them to follow him.

The boys glanced at one other, then the game was on.

They ran around the house for hours, throwing food at one another and screaming out ultimates. It was sort of like a food fight, but all the combatants chose foods that weren't too difficult to clean up. As such, Tweek ended up with oreos, Craig with cheez its, Token with saltines, and Jimmy with pretzel rods. They enjoyed themselves immensely, and the Blacks ended up just letting them go, knowing this was likely the best option of everything to happen.

Once their food was gone, they reconvened in Token's room, slumping into chairs and squishy cushions.

"That was a lot more fun that I thought it would be," Craig admitted after a moment of silence, brushing crumbs out of his boyfriend's hair. "I'll gladly give you that one, Clyde. I don't know what made you do that, but I'm glad you did."

"T-That pun was f-f-fan-f-fa-fantastic!" Jimmy agree, shooting his friend a bright smile.

"Thanks, guys! I don't know what made me really think of it either, I just saw the bread on the shelf and it call just came together on its own!" Clyde gushed happily.

"Next time, can we all pick food as soft a bread?" Token requested. "Oreos actually hurt when you get whipped in the face with one."

"I think that was just Tweek," Craig said, smiling lovingly at the blonde. "He's a strong little bean."

"Agh! I'm sorry, Token! I didn't mean to hurt you, you were just running at me and I panicked!" Tweek yelped, gripping the hem of his shirt and twisting it nervously. There was a small popping sound, then a button on the bottom of his shirt burst off, flying across the room and hitting Clyde.

"Ah! Killer buttons!" Clyde squealed, throwing himself backwards.

"AAAA! CRAIG, MY SHIRT IS GOING TO KILL US ALL!"

Token sighed heavily as he watched his friends scream and run around the room. What a bunch of insane people. He smiled slightly, sitting on his bed to watch the chaos unfold. At least they were fun to have around.

* * *

 **Guess who turned 21 today? Ha ha, it was me!**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	24. Don't Say That

Vine - All Women Are Queens, unknown

Requested by: potato pants

* * *

Kyle gripped the ends of his hat tightly, his teeth gritted. The boys were sitting together at the lunch table, listening to Cartman whine about Heidi and her recent break up with him. He had tried to pull his usual bullshit and claim to have broken up with her, but the boys pounced on him quickly, reminding that, hey fatass, we were there and saw what happened?

This had cowed the boy for a while, but soon enough he was back to bitching, and Kyle's patience, already razor thin with Cartman, was being ground into the dirt. Stan noticed when Kyle began to roll his neck to crack it ever few minutes, a clear sign of the tension building in him. He patted his shoulder lightly, getting the other's attention.

"You okay?" he asked softly, just loud enough for Kyle to hear. His expression softened and he nodded, appreciating Stan's concern. It helped him through the rest of the lunch period calm his rage towards the fat boy.

The calm did not last. Cartman grew more vocal as the day went on, and it went from insults about Heidi to women in general, claiming they were all fucking liars and evil.

"She said she was talking to a bunch of people online," he ranted as the four walked towards the bus. "I called her out and she totally dodged my question! I bet she was secretly getting with them behind my back, that psycho bitch!"

Stan nudged Kyle in an attempt to calm him, but this time it was too much.

"Shut your fat fucking mouth, Cartman!" he yelled. "I don't want to listen to your fake ass problems! Heidi isn't that kind of person! She isn't _you_!" His face was red with anger, his fists clenched at his sides.

The bus quieted, waiting for a response from the shocked Cartman. He blubbered and stuttered before screeching, "FUCK YOU, KAHL!" The pair launched themselves at one another, throwing punches and kicking. Stan and Kenny looked at one other, then jumped in, trying to pull the two apart.

The students around them cheered and screamed, encouraging the fight. The bus driver simply sighed. He wasn't like Ms. Crabtree had been, he found it easier to let the children do whatever as it would get them off his bus faster. The rush of bodies escaping the yellow prison rolled the four out into the side of the road where they finally broke apart.

All four panted heavily, Stan by Kyle, Kenny by Cartman, the pair glaring hatefully at each other.

"Alright... Alright, _Kahl_ ," Cartman heaved. "We can settle this. You and me. We're going to fight for real. We'll get weapons, then meet up at Stark's Pond. You better not wuss out on me, Jew!"

"Fuck you, Cartman, you better not shit yourself waiting for tonight," Kyle shot back. They stormed away from one another, Stan and Kenny following after Kyle. It had been a while since the two had gotten into such a big fight.

"Is it because it was Heidi?" he asked, slipping his hands into his pockets. "I thought you were over her."

"I am. It's not because of Heidi herself," Kyle sighed, glaring at the ground as snow crunched under his shoes. "It's the shit he'd saying. It's not true and it just pisses me off. I don't have to like Heidi to be mad at him for saying terrible stuff."

Stan nodded in agreement. "Kenny and I will work on getting things set up so Cartman doesn't try to rig anything. Just... try to calm down a little before then, okay, dude?" He looked him up and down with worry.

"Yeah, Stan. I'll be okay."

* * *

"Kenny, I think I know the perfect dude to help us out here," Stan said, leading the way down the street. "He just got them though, so either he'll say no, or he'll make us agree to play what he wants for a while."

"(Who are we going to?)" Kenny asked.

"Kevin Stoley."

They arrived at the Sci-Fi nerd's house, ringing the door bell. There was a short pause, then the boy himself opened the door. Honestly, all the kids rather liked Kevin; he was fun to play with and his different way of looking things always kept their games interesting.

"Kevin, we heard you got lightsabers that actually light up," Stan said, getting straight to the point. "Can we borrow them? Cartman and Kyle are going to fight each other at Stark's tonight and we need weapons."

He blinked at them, then crossed his arms. "Promise we'll play Battlefront?" The two on the step smiled brightly and nodded. Seemed like a fair enough trade. He brought them the sabers, and they thanked him, then took off for Stark's Pond to set up. Knowing Cartman, he would want a showy entrance, and Kyle would refuse to be upstaged.

As time went on, kids began to filter into the area, word spreading quickly in such a small town. This was good as they were able to help clear an area for the fight. Soon, they had a wide space, and as the sun began to dip behind the mountains, the excited whispers started up. The fighters had arrived.

Quickly, they were whisked to either side of the arena and given their weapons. There was a grumble from Cartman, but it was soon quieted. Stan went to the center of the ring and looked back and forth between each of them.

"Because some kids were absent today," he started, "I will do a fast recap that lead to this fight. Cartman implied all women are sluts and Kyle disagreed. Before you battle, please state your opinion." He ran into the crowd then, eager to let the battle behind.

With the soft click of a button, the green lightsaber in Kyle's hand flared to live, illuminating his face. "All women," he called, his voice clear and strong, "are QUEENS."

"If she breaths," Cartman snarled as he stepped forward, the red light of his weapon casting shadows across his face, "she's a THOOOOOOOOOOOT!"

They charged each other, clashing in the middle. The dull clack of plastic smacking into itself was a bit anti-climatic, but the energy of the pong made it not matter. Cheers echoed over the water, and it didn't take long for Kyle to beat Cartman into submission.

He towered over the fat boy on the ground, whacking him over and over with the green saber. Cartman squealed and flailed under him.

"DON'T! YOU! EVER! TALK! LIKE! THAT! AGAIN!" Each word was punctuated by a thwack. Once his rage was spent, Kyle let out a breath and stepped back, the area filling with roaring approval for him. Cartman sat on the ground and pouted, opening his mouth the speak, but being interrupted before he could say anything.

"Who wants to play Battlefront?" Kevin asked, a wide smile on his face.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	25. How Do I Emotion?

Vine - Try 27, patrickwilliamcharlton

* * *

Clyde threw himself down into the couch beside Token, his arms crossed. He was in a grumpy mood, and it showed from every bit of him. Used to this kind of behavior, Token didn't look up from his book as he spoke.

"What's wrong, noodle?" he asked, turning the page. Clyde huffed, slipping sideways and leaning on him.

"I don't know. I'm just really mad all of a sudden," he said, glaring at the ceiling of their apartment. Token 'hmm'ed softly in acknowledgement, letting silence fall between them. It lasted only a few seconds before Clyde pinwheeled his legs in the air, whining.

"I'm just getting madder because I don't know what's wrong with me! It's frustrating!" he snapped at nothing. He was at least good about directing the sudden bouts of anger that overcame him, always taking care to be sure his sweet boyfriend knew he wasn't mad at him.

Token sighed, shutting his book and setting it on the side table. He stood up, letting Clyde topple backwards onto the couch with a surprised yelp. He put a pillow in the other's hands, pressing the fluffy cotton into his chest.

"Punch this a few times if you need too, I'll be right back," he suggested, his voice gentle. He knew being annoyed with Clyde would only make his attitude worse. Besides that, the cause of these types of mood were usually due to him being hungry, not realizing he was hungry, then refusing to eat out of spite towards his body. He loved the guy, but Clyde wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box.

Going into the kitchen just off the living room, he heard the muffled thumps of Clyde punching the cushion and smiled. Oh yeah, for sure he was hungry.

Looking around the kitchen, he grabbed a candy bar and a Chinese menu from a drawer. He was a bit hungry himself, and it was getting close to dinner time. Might as well order something super filling. He stood in the doorway, watching Clyde as he hugged the pillow and whispered apologies for hurting it. His heart warmed at the site, and he cursed Craig and Tweek for awakening his bisexuality and his attraction to Clyde.

Walking towards him, he held out the candy. "Clyde, eat a Snickers."

The teen blinked and rolled the face him, reaching out to accept the treat curiously. "Why...?"

"Well, you're not you when you're hungry."

Rather than taking the candy, Clyde grabbed Token's wrist, yanking the taller boy down on top of him. He pulled Token's ear to his lips and whispered, "It's gonna take more than that for my fat ass."

Token felt his face heat up, and he scooted back, trying to remain cool as he raised an eyebrow. "Well," he said, silently cursing the slight break in his voice, "good thing I'm going to order us some food then."

Clyde's face lite up, and he squealed in delight. "Oh, my precious silver dollar, you are the man of my dreams," he cooed, pretending to swoon, collapsing on top of him. He smiled up at him as he tore open the candy, pulling off a chunk and pressing it to Token's lips.

"Here, share with me," he said. Token chuckled but accepted the treat, opening the menu and scanning over it. The pair chose their dinner and Token called to order. When this was finished, they cuddled on the couch for a few minutes before getting up to walk over to pick up their food.

Now in a much better mood, Clyde grabbed Token's hand, swinging it between them and singing brightly, abet off-key, to some new pop song that played constantly on the radio. Token watched him fondly, joining in the chorus and delighting his boyfriend to no end. By the time they got to the restaurant, Clyde was back to his usual self.

Token paid and took the containers, suggesting they sit at the picnic tables at the park, the town having a rare day of warmth. Clyde agreed and they headed to the park, sitting down and beginning to eat together.

Clyde slurped down some of his lo mein, sighing happily. "So good~," he chirped, cramming more into his mouth. Token couldn't help but laugh, struck by how similar to a chipmunk he looked with so much food stuffed into his cheeks.

When they finished and threw away the containers, they stayed at the park, chasing each other around and playing on the equipment. They ran up the slides (Clyde losing his footing and slipping back down more than once), and jumped off the sides, exchanging playful insults. They moved on to the tether ball court, then the rocking horses. Finally, they ended up side by side on the swing set.

They held hands, swaying gently back and forth, enjoying the peaceful silence, broken only by the soft squeaking of the old chains of the swings. They chatted quietly until the sun set, then headed back towards their apartment, Clyde's arm around Token's waist. He was shorter than his boyfriend, but Clyde enjoyed holding Token this way. It was warm, and made it much easier to put his hand in Token's back pocket.

Token blushed and twitched when he felt Clyde's hand go into his pocket, but laughed and shook his head, raising an eyebrow at him and grinning. "Can I help you, noodle?" he teased.

"Nah. I'm perfectly content," Clyde assured, sending him a playful smile in return. The teasing continued all the way home, then they got ready for bed, changing into pajamas and brushing their teeth. Once ready, they got into bed, cuddling close.

Clyde loved to cuddle, and thanks to his chubby body, he was excellent at it. The position they usually took was with Clyde on his back, arms locked around Token's center, Token's head resting on Clyde's chest like a pillow. It was there routine, and they loved every second of it, having no intentions of changing it anytime soon.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	26. I Don't Want To Ever Discuss This Again

Vine - Homophobic Dad, Kenny Knox

Requested by: hun bun

* * *

Tweek yawned and stretched, getting to his feet. Craig, who had been half asleep leaning against him grumbled at the sudden loss of warmth, sitting up and rubbing his eyes with one hand as the other fixed his skewed hat.

"Sorry, Craig," Tweek murmured. "I didn't mean to wake you. It's just getting late and I need to get home. I have to open the shop tomorrow." Since he had turned sixteen, his parents had begun to place more and more responsibilities on him. Moments like this, just quietly resting and watching a movie with his boyfriend of seven years were few and far between.

They had been curled up together on Craig's bed, watching something on Netflix. They hadn't paid it much attention, more interested in talking and enjoying each other's company.

Craig got up, intending to walk him to the door. "It's good, I needed to finish my paper for history tonight anyway. I'll forget it by Monday if I don't do it now," he sighed, rubbing his face. It was unfortunate that he lived in a place that was cold practically year round. As he had gotten older, rather than being adjusted to the climate, Craig's body had rebelled a bit. His skin was always dry and flaky, and Tweek had gotten him a bottle of aloe lotion to help.

Tweek grabbed his hands, smiling slightly. "Don't do that, you'll irritate your skin. Don't forget to use the lotion before you go to bed." They shared a light kiss, then the teen left after assuring Craig he didn't need an escort out.

Sighing heavily, Craig grabbed the bottle and popped it open, knowing he'd forget to use it later. When it came to taking care of himself, his memory wasn't the greatest, unlike when it came to worrying over Tweek or his friends.

He sat on his bed and rubbed some of the white goop over his face, the coolness helping to wake him up. It wasn't terribly late yet, and Craig didn't want to be the type of person who went to bed at nine pm on a Friday night.

Before he was finished smearing the lotion in, he heard the sound of footsteps outside, then his dad opened the door, moving to come in. "Hey son, I just saw Tweek leav- WHAT IS THAT SHIT ON YOUR FACE?!"

Craig jumped in surprise at the sudden shriek, turning to face his father. "Dad, it's lotion1"

"NO! NO!" Thomas interrupted, backpedaling out of the room. Craig remained seated, deciding to finish up lotioning himself before following his father. Putting the bottle away, he went downstairs into the kitchen where both of his parents were, his mother looking extremely confused. She was patting her husband's shoulder, unsure what was upsetting him so much.

The teen watched blankly for a moment before speaking. "Dad, come on, I thought we were past the whole you-freaking-out-over-my-being-gay thing," he said tiredly. "And I don't even know what you're crying for. I told you it was just lotion. You know I have dry skin."

Laura's face turned to a knowing look as she connected the pieces of what was happening. "Did you think our boy and Tweek were doing something unsafe?" she asked. "Darling, we've given them the talk, and so has the school. Many times. I'm sure they're being safe."

Craig turned bright red and looked at his mother in horror. "Mom! We haven't done anything!"

"It wasn't the you being gay, son," Thomas cut in, wiping his eyes. "I just didn't expect my boy to be a-a bottom!"

If a portal to Hell had opened in their kitchen at the moment, Craig would have gladly given up the rest of his life and walked in facing backwards, both middle fingers pointed up at God. The embarrassment he felt seemed like it would be too much for a person to handle, yet somehow, here he was, handling it.

"Well, this is as much as I'm willing to handle today," he said, turning on his heel and going into the living room. He pulled on his shoes and grabbed his house key, opening the front door. "I'm going to Tweek's or something. Probably won't be back until tomorrow." He headed down the street, thankful for the cold air that soothed his burning face.

It didn't take long to reach his boyfriend's home, and he let himself in as usual, Mr. and Mrs. Tweak already in bed. He knocked gently on the door of Tweek's bedroom, calling out softly, "It's me, babe."

The door opened quickly, and Tweek's surprised face was soon in its place. "What's going on, Craig? Is everything alright?" he asked, worry in his voice. It wasn't often that Craig just showed up without announcing himself. The last time had been the death of his last guinea pig, but Craig didn't seem like he was grieving.

He reached out and touched his face, gasping at how warm he was. "Oh, God, are you sick? Why did you walk over here!?" He tugged him into his room, making Craig sit on his bed. "You were fine when I left like ten minutes ago, what happened?"

Craig flopped back, covering his eyes and groaning. He explained what had happened with his dad, and the silence that followed was deafening. He peeked between his fingers at Tweek, and found him just as red as he had been, only instead of seeming embarrassed, he was clearly holding in laughter.

"Don't laugh," he pouted, sitting up and crossing his arms. "I could have died, it was that terrible."

This had the opposite effect of calming Tweek, instead making sound burst from him. He bent double, holding his stomach as he wheezed with laughter, tears dripping down his face. "Y-You should have told your dad, 'this is why you knock'!" he gasped out between breaths.

Craig was only able to keep his pout for a few more moments before he began to giggle as well. He was right, really, it was Thomas' own fault for just walking in. Once he recovered, Tweek sat beside him, drying his face.

"For the record, I'm totally a top," he added.

Tweek glanced at him, and the next thing Craig knew, he was on his back, Tweek pinning him down with a cheeky grin.

"Are you sure about that?"

For a moment he was left speechless, but after clearing his throat a few times, he managed to force out, "M-Maybe more of a switch."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	27. I Hate Words

Vine - The fucker that was naming shit, patrickwilliamcharlton

* * *

With a frustrated groan, Stan threw down his pencil, shoving his hands under his hat and rubbing harshly at his hair. The little seven-year-old hated spelling more than anything else in the world. He was terrible at it, and it hated him!

His best friend was with him in his room, looking up at the sound.

"What's wrong, Stan?" Kyle asked, his concern evident as he got up from his spot and padded over to the other boy. "Are you still having trouble with your spelling homework?"

"I hate it, Kyle!" Stan whined, letting his head drop onto his desk with a thunk. "I hate spelling; I can't ever remember how to do the words right! It's not fair, why do I gotta know this? My mom can just always help me when I need it!"

Kyle patted his friend's back the way he watched his mother often do when his father was stressed and upset. "Yeah, spelling sucks balls," he agreed. "But Mr. Hat says we have to learn for the test or we're gonna be in trouble. What word are you having trouble with? Maybe I can help."

"Wednesday. It doesn't look anything like how it sounds! How am I supposed to do this?!" Kyle didn't have an answer, and suggested instead that they take a break to play a game.

"You'll feel better!" he promised, tugging Stan out of his seat and downstairs, heading into the Marsh's backyard. He wasn't wrong, the cool air helping to rejuvenate the child. They ran around together for a while, working out all their built-up energy with screaming and laughter. When they returned inside, Stan felt ready to go at his spelling list once again.

He sat at his desk, Kyle at his side, his pencil at the ready. They stared at the page together in silence for a while, then Stan slowly put his pencil back down, sitting back and crossing his arms.

"Hey, Kyle," he said, lowing his voice. "I need a word for the middle of the week."

The way he spoke let Kyle know he was playing again, and he gladly went along with it. He pretended to think about it a moment before saying with confidence, "Wednesday."

Stan huffed in approval. "That's a good one." Grabbing his pencil, he began to scratch it down. "I'm gonna spell it like a fuckin' asshole."

Kyle blinked, then burst out laughing, causing Stan to smile and join him. Once they calmed down, they finished their homework, then returned to their game, listing off the other words they hated and recreating their invention. Most stories they made up claimed words have been made with the sole purpose of fucking over the children that were forced to learn to spell them.

Many screamed curses later, Kyle went home, and Stan was put to bed, wondering nervously if he would be able to remember how to spell everything the next day.

* * *

Stan and Kyle walked to the bus stop together the next morning, meeting up with their other two friends.

"Are you guys ready for the spelling test?" Kyle asked, looking over at them.

Kenny nodded, his hoodie flopping slightly, too big for his small head while Cartman snorted, declaring Kyle the biggest nerd to ever nerd. This resulted in a fist fight that lasted until the school bus arrived. Glaring at one another, they climbed aboard, ignoring the cranky Ms. Crabtree.

Stan looked out the window as they headed towards the school, feeling nervous. "Kyle," he said, pulling the boy's attention away from his staring contest with Cartman a few rows up. "What if I can't remember how to spell anything, and we just wasted a bunch of time we could have used to play yesterday?"

"Awe, come on, Stan!" Kyle cooed, grabbing his arm and shaking him. "You worked real hard, I'm sure you'll remember! Just keep thinking you have to spell stuff like an asshole and you'll be fine!"

Stan grinned at his friend, his confidence returned. "Yeah, you're right!"

Arriving at the school, Stan entered with a spring in his step, feeling ready for anything. The boys went into their classroom, and soon after their teacher entered and shut the door behind them.

"Alright, class," Mr. Garrison said, handing out to each of them a sheet of paper. "We're going to start today with the spelling test. I hope you all studied for this. Write your name at the top, then as I read out words, spell them on your paper." When the class was ready, he began to read out loud from a list.

Stan chewed on his pencil's eraser nervously. Oh, no, was he beginning to forget how to spell stuff? His eyes scanned over his page worriedly, but couldn't tell if he had made any mistakes. It looked right to him, but that didn't mean it was correct.

After what felt like an agonizingly long time, Mr. Garrison called for them, "The final word is 'Wednesday', children."

His stomach knotting up, Stan tapped his paper, feeling sweat build up on his brow. What was this one again? It had such a weird spelling, what a totally bullshit word! Whoever had come up with it was an asshole!

The word caused his memory to spark, and in his mind, he watched himself writing the word over and over. He could have squealed with happiness as he scribbled it down, finishing just as Mr. Garrison told them to all put their pencils down. They were released to recess then, and the small children thundered their way onto the playground, eager to play.

"How do you think you did?" Kyle asked, catching up to him.

Stan smiled brightly. "I think I nailed it! I remember the guy who came up with the word being an asshole, and it just worked! How do you think you did?"

"I think I did alright. Kenny?"

Their orange clad companion sidled up, giving them another nod and a muffled sentence that sounded happy. They took it as a good sign, then turned to Cartman as he puffed up to them.

"You guys," he gasped, gulping down air. "That test sucked balls! I think I failed it! Totally unfair!" Not wanting to argue and waste their precious recess, they all agreed, then ran to the swings.

When the bell rang and they returned inside, Mr. Garrison had the spelling sheets graded and ready to hand back.

"Many of you did very well," he said, walking between the students and handing them their papers. "Some of you, however..." He locked eyes with Cartman for a moment, "could use some serious improvement."

Stan accepted his paper, took a breath, then peeked at his score. Ten out of ten.

He cheered. "Wow, thinking like an asshole actually works!"

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	28. Why Do I Let Things Like This Happen?

Vine - My rice krispies were real talkative this morning, austin_blakee

Requested by: Kennys Eyebrows (Discord)

* * *

Clyde was sure this was a good idea. Craig was not. The pair sat on either side of the Tucker family's dinner table, staring at each other hard. Each was trying to use their mind to persuade the other into their way of thinking, and so far, neither had been successful and they had reached a stalemate.

"Clyde," Craig said, "this is a really bad idea. It sounds like it's going to cause something to happen that I don't want to have to deal with, but I know you won't deal with it, so I'm going to have too."

"Oh, come on, Craig," Clyde whined. "I'm your bestie, have more faith in me than that! I'm not going to hang you out to dry!

"I don't trust that for a single second."

Clyde's eyes watered and he sniffed, rubbing at them. "W-Why do you have to be so mean to me...? I'm your friend, you should trust me..." This had its intended effect, Craig's face shifting from one of uncaring to vague concern.

"Hey, stop it," he ordered, getting up from his chair and rounding the table to awkwardly pat Clyde's shoulder. "You are my friend, and I do trust you, I just don't trust this situation." It was a weak attempt at comfort, but it meant Craig was cracking, and Clyde dug in.

He burst into tears, hiding his face against the table and wrapping his arms around his head. "Just admit it!" he wailed. "You don't like me, you don't really think I'm your friend!"

Panicked by the outburst, Craig's eyes widened, and he stumbled over his words, struggling to come up with something to say. "Fine!" he finally yelled. "Fine, we can do the stupid thing, just stop crying!"

Instantly, Clyde popped up, a large grin on his face. "I knew you'd see it my way, Craig. You're a real bro."

Knowing he'd been had, Craig sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "Whatever. I hate you, sometimes, Clyde."

"Maybe so, but you love me the times you aren't hating me, so it all all evens out," he reasoned, jumping down from his seat and leading the way into the kitchen. Helping Craig, he pushed the other boy up onto the counter and watched him go to the cabinet and take out a bowl. He accepted it when offered, then the spoon that Craig pulled from a drawer before helping him back to the floor.

Craig went to the pantry and pulled out a box of cereal. He looked at Clyde's smiling face one more time before letting out a final sigh and going to the fridge and pulling out the carton of milk. Making the breakfast dish, he carried it back to the table as Clyde ran past him to his overnight bag, pulling something out of it before returning to his friend.

"So, how did you and Kenny get into this again?" Craig asked, moving to the opposite side of the table as Clyde scrambled up onto his seat and grinned down at the innocent bowl on the table.

"It started out as a prank war, but then I accidentally got myself, and Kenny decided it would be more fun to see who could do the dumbest thing to ourselves. I am totally going to win!" Clyde cooed, flicking the lighter he had grabbed into life.

"Well, at least you understand this is an absolutely awful idea. I still don't know why you insisted on doing this here," Craig huffed, watching his wearily.

"Because I needed someone to film it to show Kenny or he'll say it didn't happen, and Token said he won't help me with this anymore. Now, shut up and film."

Rolling his eyes, Craig turned on his camera and pressed the record button as Clyde lit the end of the firecracker he had brought with him and dropped it into the bowl of cereal. A faint hissing sound could be heard, and Clyde leaned over the bowl, his head tilted to the side to listen better.

"Craig, my Rice Krispies are talkin-" He was interrupted by a loud bang, milk and cereal suddenly exploding out of the bowl, hitting Clyde in the face and splashing across the table and onto the carpet. There was a moment of silence, then Clyde looked towards Craig and said, "Man, they're excited."

Craig quickly stopped the video, then burst into laughter. Clyde soon joined him, and the two cackled together until Laura Tucker came downstairs to investigate the sound. She sighed heavily, flipped them both off, then shooed them away from the table so she could clean up the mess.

The boys went outside, running to Jimmy's house and knocking on the door.

The boy opened the door and greeted them, and they showed him the video. This lead to another bout of laughter, and once they calmed, the three traveled to Token's house.

After assuring Token the stupid thing had already been done, he let them in and allowed to view the footage, adding his own laughter into the mix. Satisfied with his test group, Clyde brought the three with him to Kenny's house, knocking frantically on the door.

When Kenny opened it, they shoved the phone into his hands, and he watched the video silently. When it finished, he calmly clicked to play it again, then again, and Clyde worried that maybe it wasn't as funny as he had thought it would be.

Just as he was beginning to worry, Kenny's shoulders began to shake, then they heard the soft sounds of his muffled laughter. Grinning at one another, the group all began to laugh once more, enjoying the moment.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Kenny handed back the phone. "(Well done, Clyde. I'm going to have to think of something really good to top that. Might take a while though, so don't wait up.)"

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	29. You Don't Suck Like Everyone Else

Vine - Asshole genie, patrickwilliamcharlton

* * *

Kenny kicked a stone over the side of the bridge as he crossed, heading into the forest that surrounded the small mountain town. He was on a mission today, and nothing was going to stop him. He had heard from Cartman (not the most reliable source), that there was a genie out in the woods who would grant people wishes. Well, he definitely had a wish, and there was in harm in going and checking out this potential genie.

As he walked, he wondered if this was a good idea. What if he got his wish them immediately died? Karen would never know what happened to him, or his friends. He doubted his parents would even notice, but he didn't want to make his sister cry. He didn't want to be that kind of brother. Lost in thought, he didn't see the figure in front of him until they collided. Kenny bounced off of them and hit the ground with a grunt, looking up at who the person was.

He blinked in surprise, having not expected to see Satan of all people standing before him.

The red man stared down at him, then offered a hand. "Sorry, kid. You alright?" he asked, helping Kenny get to his feet.

Pulling his hood down, Kenny nodded. "Uh, yeah. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Hell torturing people or something?"

Satan let out a sigh and sat on a tree stump. "Technically yes," he said, "but I can also do whatever I want, so I decided to come up here for a little while. I can't stay long, but I wanted to enjoy nature for as long as possible. Then some little fat kid found me and started asking for things. I gave him something to make him go away."

"Stupid Cartman," Kenny hissed under his breath. Of course it was too good to be true, and of course only Cartman would forget what the fucking ruler of Hell looked like. Pinching the bridge of his nose (a habit he had picked up from Stan), he exhaled slowly before looking back up at the giant red demon.

"The only reason I came was become the fat kid told me there was a genie out here. Maybe you can't help me, but do you know anyone who can? I'm kind of desperate," he said.

"What is it you need?" Satan adjusted himself on his make-shift chair, attempting to look more professional. "Maybe I can help."

"I have a curse, and I want it to go away," the boy explained.

"A genie will always try to trick you, be careful what you wish for," the demon warned.

"I wish I was dead."

This was clearly not what the other had expected to hear, and for a moment, the two stared blankly at one another. Finally, Satan said, "... You are now immortal."

Kenny's eyes widened. "What?!"

"Yeah! I told you to be careful what you wished for!"

"I'll already immortal, you red dick!" Kenny yelled. "I don't want to be! I want to be able to stay dead when I die!"

"Well, fuck you, kid! Good luck getting out of your immortality!" The ground opened under the hulking demon, and he descended into Hell, cackling all the way and leaving the stunned boy in his wake.

When he snapped out of his shock, Kenny ran to the spot Satan had disappeared and stomped on the ground repeatedly. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" he shrieked. He continued to scream until he was out of breath, then let himself flop back onto the ground.

He covered his face with his arm, shaking slightly as tears welled in his eyes. This was so unfair... He just wanted to be a normal kid, why was that so hard to understand? Why couldn't he have that? The sound of approaching footsteps got him to sit up, and he watched the path the sounds were coming from.

Of all the people in town who could have entered the clearing, Kenny did not expect to see Butters. The two stared at one another, and Kenny was confused why Butters' face morphed from surprise to concern.

"Hey, Kenny," the new comer greeted. "What are ya doing over here? Are you alright? You look like you were cryin'."

Kenny rubbed his eyes quickly, scrubbing away the tears. "Hi, Butters. I'm fine, just hanging out," he said, laying back. "Want to join me?"

"Nah, I can't stay for long. Eric just told me there was something cool out here he wanted me to see. H-Have you seen anything neat out here?" he asked. "Did Eric tell you the same thing as me?"

"Cartman is dumb," Kenny answered, then looked over at him and grinned, raising an eyebrow. "Unless he wanted you to find me. I mean, I'm pretty great after all."

The boy blushed, but smiled. "Awe, geez, Ken, I think you're just swell." He moved closer and sat on the ground beside him. "I guess I can stay a few minutes. It gives you the chance to tell me what was upsetting you."

Kenny sighed, having hoped Butters wouldn't want to talk about it. "It's nothing, Butters, really. Don't worry about me."

"Now, how am I suppose to not worry about you? You're my friend, aren't ya? Of course I'm gonna worry if I see you bein' all sad." He laid down in the grass beside the other, giving him as stern a look as he could. "Now tell me."

Figuring he had no reason not to, Kenny told his friend exactly what was wrong. "I hate being immortal, Butters. I want to be able to die and stay dead. It hurts to die, and sometimes it's really scary. I just... I want to be normal." He fell silent, expecting Butters to call him crazy and leave. But that wasn't what happened. Instead, he felt a hand touch his shoulder lightly, and he looked over. He had to blink a few times to bring Butters' face into focus, having not noticed that he had begun to cry again.

"Kenny, I'm sorry..." Butters' voice was filled with actual regret. "I'm sorry, I'm suppose to be your friend and I didn't know you were hurting like this. I may not know what you're talking about, but I'm here for you. You can always tell me when you're feeling sad or scared."

Sitting up, Kenny locked eyes with him. "Listen to me, dude. The things that happen to me, well, they're terrible. Awful, horrible things. All the time. As much as I want someone to remember, I don't want that person to be you. You're one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and I don't want you to have to ever deal with that."

"Well, that's a real problem, Kenny." Butters stood up, putting his hands on his hips and looking down on the other. "Because I'm a tough lil' guy, and now that I know this, there isn't any way I'm gonna forget again."

He darted forward, pressing a soft kiss to Kenny's forehead before bouncing back. Kenny was left speechless as the boy waved and sad a goodbye, then set out back down the path. When the sound of his footsteps had faded, Kenny felt his face flush as he processed what had happened.

Letting a smile form on his face, he chuckled and shook his head, laying back down. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad from now on.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	30. You Are Testing My Patience, Child

Vine - Where's your other sock, unable to find creator

Requested by: guest

* * *

Kyle took his job as babysitter very seriously. He enforced bedtime, didn't let Ike eat sweets after nine, and made sure his brother didn't get hurt. Or rather, he knew that that was what he was supposed to do, but he was ten, so what did he actual care for any of those things?

On the rare occasions their parents left them alone for the night, neither would go to bed until midnight and spend the hours until then messing around and snacking. Kyle did do his best to keep Ike from getting hurt, but the five-year-old seemed to be a magnet for trouble. Some of it was entirely the boy's own fault, however.

That night, the boys found themselves alone unexpectedly, Gerald getting a call from the law office that explained he needed to travel to Denver immediately. There was a brief discussion that neither child paid attention to, and somehow it was decided Sheila would go with her husband and leave the boys home. Hugging the pair tightly and telling them to be good, the couple set off.

Once the taillights of the car disappeared, Kyle went into the kitchen and pulled out a box of Snacky S'mores, tossing one of the bags to Ike as he removed another for himself before going to the refrigerator and pulling out two small bottles of juice. Their mother sometimes put them into their lunches, and they loved it dearly.

Giving one to Ike, Kyle went into the living room and climbed up onto the couch, flipping on the television to cartoons as he pulled out his phone to text Stan.

 _My parents just took off. Not really sure why, but now Ike and I have the house to ourselves._

He got a response quickly congratulating him on his luck. As they messaged, Kyle mostly ignored Ike, the small boy sitting on the floor in front of him playing with some of his toys. In his game, his cars were on a magical journey to complete a quest from Princess Monster Truck. They needed a Special Item from to succeed, and Ike was struggling to pick something.

Looking around himself for inspiration, he chose the first thing he saw, which happened to be his right sock. Yanking it off, he lined up his cars and draped the sock over them, pretending they were having a parade to celebrate their bravery in taking it from a giant.

He reached for his juice to take a drink and found it to be empty. Glancing back at Kyle and seeing him still doing his own thing, he got up and went into the kitchen, taking another juice from the fridge and coming back.

Kyle had noticed the movement, and blinked at his brother as Ike removed the lid and took a sip.

"Where's your other sock?" he asked, causing the boy to look down. The motion tilted his bottle, and the liquid spilled out onto the carpet. Kyle gasped sharply. "Oh my God!"

When asked later, Ike had no idea what made him think to do it, all he knew was that in the moment, it seemed like a perfectly logical next step. Staring down at the wet mark on the carpet, he dumped the rest of the juice on top of it.

Kyle screamed, and though Ike couldn't quite make out the word he said, it sounded like "bruh".

Leaping off the couch, Kyle snatched his brother up and went upstairs, dropping the boy in his bedroom.

"I can't believe you, Ike!" he raged. "I swear to God if that juice doesn't come out, I'm not covering for you! Mom is going to lose her mind if she sees this! And I refuse to take the blame if that happens!" He stormed back downstairs, scrubbing at the spot harshly with a damp washcloth. It seemed to work, but Kyle wouldn't know for sure until the area dried all the way. If it was crusty, then the juice was still there and likely wouldn't be coming out.

He saw his screen light up on the couch and picked up his phone to see new messages from Stan.

 _Dude what was that scream? Are you guys okay?_

 _Not cool man answer me_

 _Kyle?_

 _Fuck it im coming over_

The knock on the door a few seconds later startled him, but he went over and answered it, letting his best friend in. Stan looked him up and down in concern, wondering what could have happened that would have made Kyle scream like he was being murdered.

Wordlessly, he pointed to the in-progress cleaning, and Stan nodded understandingly.

"That sucks, dude," he said, patting his back. "Can I help at all?"

"No," Kyle sighed. "I cleaned it as best I could. All I can really do now is wait for it to dry and hope mom doesn't see anything wrong."

"So where is Ike?"

"In his room, the little monster. I told him I'm not covering for him if mom freaks out. I'm going to be in trouble already for not watching him closer, but that doesn't mean I have to triple that because he did something dumb."

The two sat on the couch and talked for a while, glancing at the carpet every now and then. It didn't take very long for it to dry, and once it had, they got up to feel the spot and check for stickiness. When Kyle was satisfied it was safe, Stan returned home, leaving Kyle to go and talk to Ike.

In his room, Ike had gotten onto his computer and was watching let's plays when Kyle knocked. He paused the video to open the door and let him in, then sat on his bed as Kyle paced in front of him.

"Ike," Kyle said after a pause. "I'm sorry I freaked out on you. I just didn't want to get in trouble. The carpet is fine, I don't think mom will ever know. That said, I hope you know why I put you in here."

Honestly, Ike didn't know, but he also didn't really care, so he nodded to appease his brother, which seemed to have been the right thing to do as Kyle then smiled at him.

"I'm going to bed now. Goodnight, Ike, I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Kyle."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	31. I Will Wreck Your Shit

Vine - Jeremy gets diddily destroyed, patrickwilliamcharlton

* * *

Craig and his friends sat together at the lunch table, eating and discussing the newest episode of Terrance and Philip. It had been a doozy, with an incredible twist no one had seen coming.

"Be honest, did you think it was going to end that way?" Token asked, biting into his pizza slice as he looked around the table. Jason, Jimmy, Clyde, and Craig shook their heads, leaving Tweek to merely shrug.

"I don't know, dude, I never try to predict the ending. It's way too much pressure; I imagine the episode how I want it, then it just confuses me what that isn't what actually happens," he said, gripping his soda can tightly between his hands. Craig quickly coaxed the container out of his grasp before it could explode all over him.

"I d-d-do that t-too," Jimmy admitted with a smile and nod. "But it c-ca-ca-can be f-fun to try and p-pre-p-predict what happens sometimes."

Clyde agreed enthusiastically. "Yeah, like that one episode like two years ago? Remember the thing that happened? I tried so hard to guess that one, but it was such a good twist I didn't see it coming from a mile away!"

"Two years ago... Wait, the episode with the one thing?" Craig asked. "That's one of my favorite episodes!"

The boys gushed over the show excitedly, throwing potential future episode ideas around. As they talked, Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Butters passed them, holding a conversation of their own about the episode.

"What do you mean you guys actually liked that episode?" Cartman snapped, getting all of their attention. "It was terrible! The twist was fucking stupid, it was a huge let down!"

"Not everyone had shit taste, fat ass," Kyle retorted. "Some people know how to appreciate something cool when they see it."

Cartman glared darkly at the boy, then turned to Craig's gang. "You don't all seriously think it was a good episode do you?" he demanded. "Surely at least of of you isn't a goddamned idiot?"

Jason raised his hand, getting a few odd looks from his friends in response, though it made Cartman smile.

"See, Jason agrees-"

"I think it was a fantastic episode, not just good," Jason cut in, causing Cartman's face to turn bright red in angry embarrassment. "Why do you always come over here and look for one of us to support you?" he continued. "We don't like you anyone than anyone else does."

"It's just- I mean, I just- I think-" Cartman rattled, attempting to regain his earlier confidence, but Jason didn't give him time.

"Do I look like I give a diddily damn what you think, Eric?" he asked coolly.

So surprised by the sudden directness of the question, Cartman couldn't stop himself from answering. "No...?"

"No, I diddily don't." Confused and unsure what to say any longer, Cartman left, Stan and his friends following to roast the shit out of him.

At the table, the group howled with laughed, congratulating Jason on his beautiful shut down of Cartman's ranting. Jason grinned at the praise, thanking them dramatically. When lunch was over, they went out to the playground and sat on the merry-go-round.

"Where did that even come from?" Clyde asked, kicking his feet in the dirty snow as he watched his friend. "It didn't sound like something you or your parents would say like, ever."

Jason shrugged. "I dunno, it seemed like it would confuse him. It worked, and that's what matters." The rest of the boys nodded in understanding, grinning at one another as they watched Cartman being roasted across the playground. He was surrounded by the other four of their group, and from what they could tell, they were simply screeching "DIDDLIY DAMN" at him over and over.

"I'd s-s-say today wa-wa-w-was very s-suc-su-su-succ-successful," Jimmy commented, letting himself fall back to lay on the cold metal disk under him. "Cartman got w-w-wh-what was coming to h-him. He got wr-wr-wrecked."

This started another round of laughter that lasted a good while. Jason had, in the span of six seconds, made himself a hero for the rest of the period, and he took the new position with pride, ignoring the irritated looks continuously thrown at him by Cartman.

Once back in class, most of the excitement calmed as everyone moved on from the event. After school, as Craig and his friends gathered to head to Token's for a sleepover, they were approached once again by Cartman. The chubby boy stormed closer to them, opening his mouth to bitch them out.

Jason stepped up, holding up a hand and stopping him before he could make a sound. "No one cares what you have to say. I will diddily destroy you if you don't back the fiddily fuck off."

Behind him, the boys let out loud 'oo's, watching intently.

Cartman stumbled over a few angry sounds, then turned sharply on his heel and stormed away, shoving his hands into his pockets and lowering his head to hide his returning blush. Naturally his group had seen his second, even more spectacular defeat, and they began to tease him as they headed home for the day.

The boys began the walk to Token's house, their praise for Jason renewed. Few people could trip Cartman up and leave him speechless, but Jason had revealed himself to be an apparent master at it.

At the Black's residence, the boys threw an impromptu party, convincing Token's parents to get ice cream to go along with the other snacks they had for the sleepover.

Gathered in Token's room, they raised their cans into the air, calling out, "To Jason White, the only person who has fiddily fucked with Cartman and gotten diddiliy damn away with it!"

* * *

 **I'm sorry this was so late, I was so busy the last few days I didn't have time to write the chapter like I usually do!**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	32. Think Before You Do Things, Dumbass

Vine - Do you trust me son?, unable to find creator

Requested by: TCONilhilm

* * *

Hanging out at Clyde's house was routine for the boys. It was the house that left them the most unsupervised, thus allowing them to get away with dumb pranks and games that usually ended in one or more of them getting hurt in some way. Mr. Donovan wasn't sure what it was they were doing in the time he was at the store, but he always made sure to have his cellphone on. The amount of times he had been called by one of the boys in tears was innumerable.

He was, therefore, unsurprised to get a call from his son's friend, hearing Clyde blubbering away about something while his friends yelled at one another in the background. Closing the shop and putting out a sign saying he would return soon, he drove home. Tweek and Jimmy were waiting for him in the driveway, Tweek looking on the verge of a panic attack as Jimmy tried to calm him down. He nodded his head towards the backyard, where the yells of Token and Craig could be heard, as well as the crying of Clyde.

With a deep sigh, Mr. Donovan passed them, patting both on the head. It at least seemed to help ease Tweek's worry somewhat and calm him down a few degrees.

Entering the yard, Mr. Donovan took in the site before him, trying to piece together the events of the afternoon. A ladder was stood in the center of the yard, and Clyde laid on the ground at the bottom, crying. He didn't appear to be hurt terribly, Mr. Donovan getting the impression that whatever had happened had shocked him more than hurt. Token and Craig were off to the side, inches from one another and red faced, screaming.

Checking on his son, he was glad to discover he was correct; Clyde wasn't badly injured, only a little bumped and bruised, but mostly scared. He picked him up, holding him tight to let him cry into his shoulder before turning to Token and Craig, who had only just noticed his presence. They looked away from him him guiltily.

"I'm going to take Clyde in and get him settled, then I want an explanation," he said firmly. He couldn't say he was angry, they were just a group of children after all, and most often when they hurt one another it was on accident. Usually it was jokes that ended up not working out, and going from the set up in the yard, he was beginning to suspect that was what had happened.

Going into the house, he settled his son on the couch, wiping his face clean gently.

"Where does it hurt the most?" he asked, kneeling down in front of him. Between sniffles, Clyde told him his back hurt, and Mr. Donovan had him lay down on his stomach.

"Just stay here for a moment, I'll be right back. If it doesn't doesn't stop hurting, tell me and we'll go get you taken care of," he promised. Ruffling Clyde's hair, he returned to the yard, crossing his arms in front of Craig and Token.

"Alright, boys," he said sternly. "What happened?"

"It was just an accident!" Craig blurted, glancing at the backdoor worriedly. He was Clyde's best friend, and always felt the worst of all of them when he did something that seriously hurt the other, though Token was a close second.

"Yeah it was an accident, but it was stupid, Craig!" Token snapped. "You should have thought more before you did it!"

"Shut the fuck up, Token! I already feel bad, you being a dick isn't going to make anything better!" Craig shot back, and their argument ignited once more. Mr. Donovan shook his head and went to the front again, glad to see Tweek and Jimmy were still there, and that Tweek was better.

"Boys, can you tell me what happened?" he asked. They agreed, launching into the story.

* * *

Discovering a ladder in the garage, the five had pulled it out and into the backyard, wanting to see how far over the fences they could look when they were at the top. Jimmy had gone first, then Tweek, Craig, Token, and lastly Clyde.

Clyde hadn't realized how tall the ladder was, however, and had gotten himself stuck at the top. They boys had tried to remind him that he had climbed much higher before and dealt with way scarier things, but Clyde only shook his head, insisting that the thin metal frame under him was far worse than everything else.

After ten minutes, Craig had gotten fed up and come up with an idea. Without telling them what he was thinking, he walked to the bottom of the ladder and held up his arms. "Trust fall, Clyde," he said. "Just fall backwards and I'll get you."

The boy peeked over his shoulder, clinging to the sides of the ladder so tightly his knuckles were white. "I'm scared, Craig," he whimpered.

"Do you trust me, Clyde?"

This seemed to work, as Clyde nodded and let out a breath. "Yes," he answered. Turning back to face forward, he put his arms out to his sides. Behind him, Craig called encouragement.

"Come on, Clyde!"

The moment Clyde let himself fall, Craig turned away, looking towards his friends. "Rule number one, never trust anybody," he said. A second later, he winced at the sound of Clyde hitting the ground, the loud exclamation that came from him making the rest flinch.

It took all of one second for Clyde to begin crying. Craig whipped around and saw his friend in a crumpled heap. He cursed under his breath and apologies spilled out of him as Tweek screamed that he had broken his back and would be paralyzed for the rest of his life.

As Jimmy attempted to help him, Token started up a lecture at Craig on why what he had done was stupid and dangerous, which had gotten Craig to yell back that yes, he knew that, he had made a poor decision was all.

It was at that point Jimmy had called Mr. Donovan.

Glad to have a better understanding of what had happened, he thanked the boys and went back inside to check on his son. Clyde wasn't bawling any longer, only sniffling. He sat up when his father came in, saying he felt better, just a bit sore.

He gave him some pain medicine, then Clyde ran back outside, tackling Craig to the ground and assuring him he was alright. The commotion got Jimmy and Tweek to return to the yard, and soon they were playing as though nothing had happened.

Mr. Donovan watched them fondly for a while, then called a goodbye, heading back to his car. He still had a few hours left until he could close the store for the night.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	33. Don't Touch Me

Vine - Inner thoughts, patrickwilliamcharlton

* * *

Tweek didn't pay much attention to the comings and goings of the kids in his class, finding that, much like his boyfriend, he really just didn't care. When the New Kid arrived, that changed. It was like watching a drama unfold in front of him every day, something new coming up that the poor kid had to deal with. Luckily, the kid was sturdy and always made it through.

On top of that, they also managed to be extremely nice, even without having to ever say a single word. After all, they had gone through the effort of helping Craig and him patch things up, so they couldn't be a bad person. For some reason, however, Cartman seemed obsessed with them.

After the fiasco that had been their superhero game had ended, Tweek found himself hanging out with Craig and their friends at Clyde's house. The remains of Clyde's epic castle from their fantasy game was still set up, and they enjoyed running around the base, pretending to be explorers discovering an ancient ruin. The boys were spread out around the structure, Tweek up in the highest rampart, looking out over South Park.

In the distance, he spotted the red blob that was Eric Cartman walking alongside the New Kid. He leaned on the railing, watching them. It seemed they were headed straight for Clyde's house, but Tweek couldn't for the life of him guess why. None of the boys liked Cartman, and he only received invitations to things out of pity. He was surprised when Cartman cut through the neighboring yard to knock on the gate.

"Who goes there?" Clyde called, to low to see over the fence.

"We aren't playing that anymore, Clyde!" Cartman's voice snapped, making the boys grimace. What could he possibly want? Dropping from the tree the castle had been built around, the five gathered around the gate as Clyde unlocked it. It swung open and Cartman stepped through, dragging the New kid behind him.

"What do you want?" Craig asked, his voice even. The faster they knew, the faster they could get him out. New Kid could stay if they wanted, but none of them wanted to be around Cartman longer than necessary.

"I was just talking with Buttlord," Cartman began, gesturing to the bored looking kid behind him, "and I was explaining something about our dear friend Tweek here." The drop in temperature was immediate, and if looks could kill, Cartman would have been murdered four times in a second.

Tweek's mind raced as he tried to think of a reason, any reason, that Cartman of all people would ever talk about him when he wasn't around. What was he telling the New Kid? Was he spreading some kind of nasty rumor? Knowing Cartman, that was the most likely answer. His stomach turned itself in knots at the idea, and he thought he would be sick.

"What have you been saying about Tweek?" Craig's voice broke through his panicked thoughts, a clear edge in his tone. It helped Tweek relax slightly; even though he was capable of fighting his own battles, it was nice to know Craig was always there to back him up. As where Clyde, Token, and Jimmy of course.

"Chill out, Craig," Cartman huffed, brushing past him and throwing his arm around Tweek's shoulders, pulling him closer. Tweek stiffened, his head snapping side to side in discomfort.

"Get off," he snapped, shoving him away.

"Aw, don't be like that, Tweek," Cartman whined. "I need you to prove something to the new kid."

"He doesn't have to do anything," Token defended, crossing his arms and tapping his foot as the boys nodded in agreement.

"It's just a question, guys, calm your tits," the fat boy said in exasperation.

"Like you're really one in a position to be pointing out other people's tits," Tweek snipped. He heard his friends all snicker in response and saw the new kid's eyes light up in amusement, a small smile flashing across their face.

Cartman appeared less than pleased at this jab, but let it go in favor of walking around the other and stopping behind him, forcing everyone to turn around and face him. Tweek put his hands on his hips as the new kid stood at his side, Craig moving to the other, the fence now at their backs.

"So, Tweek," Cartman said, "tell me, do you still think toddler murder is easy?"

Confused, Tweek blinked before answering. "I guess so...?" It was, wasn't it? Not that it was a good thing, it was just true!

He snorted in response. "You're so stupid," he said, hitting him lightly on the arm.

Tweek's eyes looked down at the spot he had been struck, then looked back up at the other. No one moved as Tweek's head slowly lifted and his gaze locked with Cartman's. His brain gave one clear thought in answer.

 _Hit him back as hard as you can._

Before anyone could react, Tweek planted his foot, and shot forward, his fist slamming into the center of Cartman's face. The boy shrieked as he was sent flying, bouncing over the ground until he hit the other side of the fence with a loud thwak.

There was a beat of silence, then the boys burst into laughter. Clyde was doubled-over holding his stomach as Token leaned on him for support. Jimmy was shaking so badly, only the new kid's grip on him was keeping him up. Craig had a wide grin and a proud look on his face.

"I don't know why I did that," Tweek said quickly, fear rising in his stomach at the thought of getting in trouble.

"Because he deserved it, babe. Don't worry about it." Reaching his arm out, Craig stepped forward and gently rubbed his arm. "That was easily one of the greatest things I've ever seen in my entire life. You're the best."

Smiling shyly, Tweek took his hand, squeezing lightly. "Thank you, Craig."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	34. I Am Very Confused

Vine - Open your ears, snowbama, Gabriel Gundacker

Requested by: potato pants

* * *

Tweek and Token didn't often get the chance to hang out together one-on-one. They liked each other well enough and had never had a fight, but the only times they were in one another's presence was in the company of Craig and Clyde. As such, when they found themselves alone together on the walk home from school, neither had any idea of how to interact. Craig and Clyde had gotten into a fight with Stan and Kyle, resulting in all four getting detention after school.

Out of habit, the two had meet outside the double doors, but had no idea what to say. They glanced around awkwardly for a bit, but knew there was no point in waiting. Craig and Clyde weren't going to be out for an hour, and it was cold. They began to walk, the plan having been for them all to go to Token's house that night and stay over. It still was, only now everything had been pushed back.

Token wasn't sure what to make of Tweek. All he really knew about him was he liked coffee and he was kind of a spazz. He would admit fully he had been shocked when Craig had started dating him. Not because of them being gay, but because he couldn't see how they fit together. Craig was just so... Craig, and Tweek was so, well, _Tweek_ that it had seemed like it would be an impossible relationship to keep up. But, it was three months later and the two were still together, their relationship strong and doing fantastically.

As long as they were happy, he supposed he was happy as well. No need to get worked up over something unimportant.

The walk back seemed to be taking longer than usual, and Token was getting annoyed. It took a while to realize it was due to the ice covering the ground. Out of pure habit, when the boys had stepped onto the icy sidewalk, they had adjusted their stride to be slower and with more solid steps over their usual walk cycles.

Silence stretched between the two, neither knowing what to say, especially after such a long pause had taken place since leaving the school. Getting to the road that lead to Token's house, the boy finally spoke, though it was an accident.

Stepping down, his foot skidded away from him, and he stumbled, barely catching himself from falling. "Oh, the ice is slippery," he mumbled.

Beside him, Tweek's head snapped to the side, locking eyes with him. "Isis?"

Token blinked. "Yeah, the ice is-"

"Isis..."

The strange inflection in Tweek's voice caused Token to burrow his eyebrows, confused as to what the other was trying to say to him.

"No, the ice is-"

"Isis..."

They stared at one other for a moment, Token unsure what to think. However, it was the slight twitch of Tweek's lips that gave him away, and he snorted softly. This lead to a full on laughing fit, and Tweek soon joined him, the pair cackling away over the joke.

"Man, Tweek, I just don't know what do do with you," Token said once they had caught their breath and started towards his home once more. "I think I know something about you, then you do something that immediately turns that conclusion on it's head."

"I don't know why I thought it was so funny," Tweek admitted, adjusting his backpack on his shoulders. "I guess until you said that I hadn't ever realized how much those two sound alike. Honestly, I didn't really hear you the first time you said it, so I was really confused what made you say 'Isis slippery'. I was all ready to agree with you too. I could give full details on how they keep managing to get away."

"I don't doubt you for a single second. That is something I know you can and will do," Token chuckled, rolling his eyes fondly at the other.

"I just decided to go with it after you said it again and I understood what you'd meant."

"I'm kind of glad you did. I'd say we were both feeling a bit weird, since we don't really see much of each other without at least Craig with us."

"True."

Getting to the house, they went inside, stripping off their wet shoes and socks as they dropped their bags by the door and scrambled upstairs. Going into Token's bedroom, they started up one of his many consoles, messing around until Craig and Clyde appeared.

"How was detention?" Token asked as they picked up their controllers and joined the game. Craig groaned and shook his head while Clyde made a gagging noise. "That good, huh? How did it go with Stan and Kyle?"

"I don't know, dude, but those two have some serious issues they need to work," Clyde whined, pouting at his friend. "I don't know if they're fighting with each other or having problems at home or what, but clearly something is out of wack. Maybe they just need to kiss and make up. I'm sure it'll all work out if they could stop pretending they were head over heels for each other."

"I didn't know Stan and Kyle were ngh, gay," Tweek said, surprised by this news.

"I don't know, man, if they aren't they sure do act like it. Watch out, they might take over as cutest couple in school," he teased, grinning at him.

Craig put his arm around Tweek's shoulders, gently pulling him closer. "That will never happen if it's only those two we are up against. Tweek is way cuter than both of them combined."

As Tweek struggled to breath around his embarrassment, Clyde and Token smiled. They loved seeing their best friend so happy.

* * *

 **Man, guys, I'm so sorry the chapters haven't been the best lately. I've been really struggling with motivation. I may have to adjust the upload schedule from every three days to every five. I just don't have the time to work on them like I want too. Don't worry about it for now though, I'll announce that change on a future chapter if it happens.**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	35. I Can't Believe That Worked

Vine - Camouflage, Thomas Sanders

* * *

Tweek generally liked being in the car with his boyfriend. When the windows were all down and the window rushed through his hair, he felt a sense of freedom he wasn't used to. It was both relaxing and invigorating, and he was able to let go of his fears and paranoia. He trusted him fully, knowing he would never do anything that could get them killed. The only thing Craig ever did wrong was going over the speed limit, but Tweek was able to overlook at during the rare times it was warm and the road not coated in ice and snow.

As such, Craig often took him out for drives in the summer, wanting Tweek to enjoy it as much as possible. South Park being the tiny town it was, was surrounded by miles of country and backroads. They were easy to navigate, safe to drive on, and fun as fuck to go speeding down at almost 90 miles per hour.

Craig had three loves in his world: his guinea pig, Tweek, and the squeaky giggles that poured from his boyfriend when the engine of his car revved and they blasted down the narrow lanes. He was sure to always be vigilant, knowing he would never forgive himself if something happened to Tweek because he wasn't paying attention.

This time of year, the harvest was almost ready, which meant the fields were full of crops. The one most popular in the area around South Park was corn, which meant that vision was extremely limited on the roads near intersections. Luckily, this wasn't much of a problem, as they could drive for miles between cross roads, Craig just needed to know where they were to look out for them.

In the car, windows down, music blaring, the young couple was happy, enjoying each other's company and the wind that whipped at their faces. Craig took off from a stop sign a bit hard, throwing Tweek back into the cushion of his seat. It got a laugh, but the sound quickly died as the thing he hated the most about being in a car with anyone happened.

Lights flicked on on top of the car behind them, the siren giving a warning beep. A cop.

Cursing under his breath, Craig turned on his hazard lights to let the officer know he was complying, beginning to break. How could he have missed the cop car waiting off the side of the road? He hadn't missed one in months! He glanced over at Tweek, taking his hand and squeezing it comfortingly.

"We're getting pulled-over!" Tweek whimpered as he looked over his shoulder, gripping his hand back tightly. He hated police with a burning passion. They scared the shit out of him, and Tweek did all that he could to avoid even talking about them. His worried eyes turned to his boyfriend, asking silently what to do.

Craig bit his lip, then decided fuck it, they might as well try the thing Clyde insisted worked. He carefully untangled their hands and reached into the backseat, grabbing a bag off the floor as he came to a halt.

"Quick, put these on," he ordered, ripping out bundles of fabric. Tweek was understandably confused, but chose not to argue with him.

Their time was short and precious, and for once, Craig was extremely grateful for the length of time it took for officers to make the their walk. He assumed it was suppose to be an intimidation thing, but it was to bad that he really didn't give a shit.

The officer got to the car, both boys instantly recognizing South Park's worst and best cop in an instant: Barbrady.

"Okay, people," he started as he made the last few steps. "License and regi- What the!?" His eyes were unreadable behind his pitch black sunglasses, but the full step he took away from the car combined with his jaw dropping gave Craig the idea the plan had worked.

"Nobody's here!" Barbrady wailed, confirming his suspicion.

Grinning, Craig glanced at Tweek, taking in his new camo outfit, a perfect match to his own. He nodded slightly towards the door, and at the same moment, they pushed open the doors, causing Barbrady to leap backwards as they slipped out.

"Who opened that!?" Barbrady screeched, unaware of the two boys dorkily dancing past him. "Devil car! Devil car!" Running as fast as he could, Barbrady returned to his vehicle, driving away as fast as possible, leaving behind the cackling teens.

As soon as the taillights had vanished into the distance, the pair got back into the car, removing the camo items that had been hastily yanked over their clothing. Carig started up the engine and did a U-turn, heading back towards South Park.

"I didn't know that would work," Tweek commented.

"I think it just worked because it's Barbrady and he isn't exactly the brightest," Craig said, pressing slightly on the gas pedal. The car roared as it sped up, and his favorite sound escaped the passenger.

"Okay, that's far, but where did that thought even come from?" he asked once his giggle fit subsided.

"Clyde."

"I should have guessed."

They grinned at one another as the town came into view on the horizon. Craig grabbed Tweek's hand, rubbing his thumb fondly over the back. As they neared, he began to slow, costing into the town at a good 30 mile pace. Rather than going home, they drove to Stark's Pond. Parking and getting out, they walked down to the water and sat, side by side.

Craig's arm found it's way around Tweek's waste as the blonde let his head fall against Craig's chest. They were quiet, admiring the setting sun and the way the light danced on the water.

They shared a soft kiss, then returned home, happy and ready for a new day of adventure tomorrow.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	36. Bet You Didn't See That Coming

Vine - Make My Wish Come True, The Gabbi Show

Requested by: Vinegar

* * *

Bebe couldn't help the smile that formed on her face as Eric Theodore Cartman himself knelt before her, begging for her help with wooing Heidi Turner back to him. She had no intentions of helping the boy groveling at her feet, but she knew this was not an opportunity to simply overlook. So she played it sweetly, promising to give him her assistance, on the condition that he did exactly as she said.

He agreed eagerly, nodding fast enough to whip his hat off. Bebe patted his head lightly, then shooed him away, telling him to dm her after school for them to talk. As soon as he disappeared down the hall, she rushed to her friends, sliding into her spot beside them at their lunch table.

"You guys, guess what just happened," she squealed, wiggling in place with excitement. Recognizing the gleam in her eye, the girls shifted closer, wanting to know who was up to be knocked down on Bebe's list.

"What's up, Bebe?" Wendy asked, turning her full attention to her best friend as Ester, Red, Annie, Lola, and Heidi listened intently.

"Cartman just came to me and asked for help getting Heidi to take him back."

Heidi tensed, her eyes widening slightly. She bit her lip nervously, then asked in a soft voice, "W... What did you tell him?"

"I told him I'd give him a little help, but only if he does exactly what I say. I've never seen anyone act like a dog so much, you'd think I'd given him a new toy or a bone or something," Bebe laughed. "But don't worry, Heidi." She leaned forward around Wendy and reached out, setting her hand gently on top of Heidi's. "I have a few ideas I'd like to bounce off of you girls. Cartman's been unchecked for a while, I think it's time someone reminded him he isn't the king of this school."

The girls giggled and nodded as Heidi visibly relaxed, though she still seemed uncomfortable. "I-I don't know, Bebe," she said, looking down at her hands. "I don't like him anymore, but that doesn't mean I want to publicly humiliate or hurt him..."

"We don't have to do anything in public," Bebe soothed. "But, Heidi, I'm telling you, if you want him to finally leave you alone for good, you're going to have to hurt him somewhat or he'll continue to think there is a chance you would ever take him back.

Heidi sighed, knowing her friend was right. "Okay. What are you thinking?"

As the girls talked, across the room, the boys were looking around, confused by the absence of Cartman.

"He never misses lunch," Stan said, turning to look at the doors to the cafeteria for what felt like the millionth time. "Do you think something happened to him? Should we go look or...?"

"Why do you even care?" Token asked, looking up from his sandwich. The rest, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, Jimmy, Craig, and Tweek all looked at Stan questioningly. Sure, Cartman was part of their group, but it was hardly because they liked the kid.

Stan huffed and sank back down into his seat. "Can't a guy just ask a simple question?"

"J-J-Ju-Jus-J-Just don't t-think about it, St-S-Stan," Jimmy suggested. "H-He isn't your p-pr-problem to d-deal with. He'll s-show up eventually. He a-alwa-always does." The boys nodded and Stan finally let it go, knowing they were right.

Knowing Cartman, he was probably getting into something he shouldn't, and for once, Stan wasn't willing to even entertain the idea of helping him get out of it.

* * *

It was nearing Christmas break a few weeks later that Bebe finally had her plan set up to perfection. Heidi had been involved with every step along the way, as had Wendy and Red. She messaged Cartman the night before, telling him it would go down the next day after school in the hall by Heidi's locker. Once the students had filtered out, Bebe pretended to need to talk to Heidi, the girls giggling together as they waited for what was to come.

In the classrooms on either side of the hallway, Wendy and Red were hiding, their phones ready and recording the events about to go down before them. Bebe had warned them generally what would happen so they wouldn't laugh and blow their cover, but hadn't revealed all so they would still get a good show.

Suddenly, through the speakers issued a song. A very familiar song that forced the two hidden girls to cover their mouth to keep from laughing. Heidi forced a confused look, glancing up at the speakers above her as Cartman rounded the corner, pretending she couldn't see him even as Bebe moved back and began to dance.

Down the hall, Cartman began singing, and for a moment all four were surprised by how good he actually sounded when he was trying compared to when he was just fucking around. He stepped closer slowly, his eyes on Heidi, his cheeks pink with slight embarrassment. He was decked out in all white and sparkles, glittering as he moved.

" _I... don't want a lot for Christmas... T_ _here is just one thing I need... I don't care about the presents, u_ _nderneath the Christmas tree..._ "

For a moment, Bebe felt bad. She had set Cartman up and was going to watch him fall, and it was going to be a hard crash and burn. Then she remembered every terrible, shitty thing he had done to her friends and all their classmates over the years, and as quick as it had come, her remorse vanished. Maybe he didn't deserve this, but it was what he was getting.

As the song continued, Bebe let herself get into the song. It was a good one, after all, and she was willing to do all the backup 'ooo's and 'ah's. Finally, the moment of truth arrived and Bebe watched, knowing her friends were still recording.

Cartman went down onto his knees, taking Heidi's hands in his and looking up into her eyes as Bebe danced around him. " _Cause I just want you for my own,_ " he sang, taking in a breath to do the second line, only to be shocked when Heidi pulled her hands away and held them up, backing away from him.

" _Please leave me the fuck alone,_ " she sang back as she moved. The line stopped the boy in his tracks, and he was left in shock as Bebe ran after her friend, leaving him alone.

Luckily, it didn't take him long to bounce back. His eyebrows furrowing, he hissed under his breath, "Fucking _bitch_." Standing up, he ripped the outfit off, his usual clothes underneath, he huffed, then pulled out his phone, beginning to text his friends to tell them he hated them and wanted to hang out, walking out of the school none the wiser to the silently cackling girls still there.

Once it was safe, the four converged, Heidi somewhat glad to know he hadn't cried. They watched the videos together, the two filmers cheering and congratulating their friends for their amazing acting skills.

It had already been decided that no one else could see the videos, and Cartman wasn't to know of their existence. After all, they needed some blackmail, just in case he ever decided to come after one of them.

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	37. Where Did You Even Get That?

Vine - Carpooling Probz!, Thomas Sanders

* * *

Kenny loved having a car. He loved being able to just get up and go whenever he wanted. Sure, it was a piece of shit junker, but it was _his_ and that was what mattered. On top of that, it was spacious as fuck, perfect for long trips with his boyfriends. Yep, boyfriends. Plural. Two of the cutest, sweetest, most badass people Kenny had ever met in his life.

He glanced beside him at Butters, napping in the passenger seat. The other was pretty small for a guy, but he was so fiery and passionate about everything he did, he forced people to recognize him as the larger-than-life force he was. His soft, sunflower yellow hair reflected the sun that streamed through the window. Though hidden at the moment behind thick lashes, Butters' eyes were the most beautiful shade blue Kenny had ever seen. They were as clear and bright as the sky on a cloudless day in the middle of summer. Damn, he was smitten. Not that his darling Butters was the only one near and dear to his heart.

Looking into the rear-view mirror, the smile that had been threatening to take over his features finally did so as he took in the face of his other boyfriend, Scott Malkinson. The diabetic boy was unlike anyone else Kenny had ever met. He was very similar to Butters, but with a sort of edge. While Butters had grown into the strong person he was now after making it through hardship, something Kenny felt honored to have been with him for every step of the way, Scott had always had a sense of strength around him. He didn't put up with any of the bullshit people tried to push on him. He wouldn't simply roll over and be kicked while down. He snapped back, not hesitating to defend himself. Not to mention, he was incredibly attractive with his curly brown locks, shinny green eyes, and the splash of freckles across his nose. And that lisp? Lord help him, Kenny swooned for it.

Now out of school, Butters and Scott in their first year of college with Kenny choosing to enter the work force directly, they didn't have as much time to just go on driving adventures anymore. They had all moved in together in Denver when the two had gotten into the University, not wanting to be apart for any length of time if they didn't need to be. Kenny had no real complaints, other than disliking the pressure put on his lovers by both the school and their parents. Didn't those adults understand how hard Butters and Scott where working? Apparently not.

However, that exact reason was what had lead them to the drive they were on today. Knowing neither had any upcoming projects or pressing homework assignments to get done, Kenny had woken the two at five in the morning and herded them into his car. They'd sleepily asked what was going on, but he'd only smiled and shaken his head.

"No spoilers," he had told them softly. "Get some more sleep, you'll see soon." Which brought them to now, Kenny gentle applying the breaks to slow the car to a stop with minimal jolting. Once the engine was off and the key removed, he shook them both awake with a smile.

"Morning, my darlings," he cooed. "I hate to disturb your beauty rest, but we've arrived."

Sitting up, Butters and Scott looked out around them and gasped. The car was parked on the shoulder of a back road, and surrounding them was nothing but the open country, the plains stretching off into the distance. But even more than that, were the thousands upon thousands of wildflowers that sprouted up every where.

Opening the doors and stepping out, the two shook themselves and rubbed their eyes to help wake them up as Kenny removed a few blankets from the trunk, strolling past them and into the grassy expansion.

"Come on now, lovies," he teased, winking back over his shoulder at them. "I want to enjoy this beautiful day with you."

Grinning at one another, Butters and Scott joined hands, then rushed after the tallest of their group. Kenny was a romantic, and that always meant that an outing he planned specially for them always ended up a great experience.

* * *

Hours later, after laying in the grass, weaving flower crows, talking, and eating the lunch Kenny had brought along, it was time to head back. They worked their way through the field, discussing one thing and another, ending up on the subject of Kenny's car and wanting to drive. Kenny was hesitant to let anyone else drive it, not because he didn't trust them, but because it needed so many very specific kinds of touches, he didn't know where to begin explaining. As such, when they neared the car, he jokingly called out, "I'm driving!" Unseen by him or Scott, who was walking beside him with the blankets folded in his arms, Butters stopped to investigate something he saw laying in the dirt.

"Shot gun!" he chirped brightly, making Scott groan in pretend annoyance. Having reached the car, the two began to turn to face him.

"Aw, but you had it on the way here-" Catching sight of what Butters was holding, Scott and Kenny leapt back a few feet, the things in their arms dropping to the ground as they yelled, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Giggling, Butters shook his head. "No, I found a shot gun," he said, holding up the weapon in his hands. His eyes glinted slightly with his next words. "And I want the front seat." He cocked the gun, a bullet loudly clicking into place.

The pair recognized the look and slowly nodded, still holding out their hands.

"Sure thing, Lee," Scott answered calmly, his lisp making his words sound more nervous than he was. Not to say he wasn't a bit nervous, but not as badly as he would have been. The pair had long ago discovered that something about Butters wasn't quiet... normal. They never knew what would set him off or when, but it usually ended up being a weapon of some kind. Butters' eyes would change, and he grew darker. The only way to help him get back was to coax the weapon from him.

They assumed it had something to do with the massive amounts of abuse Butters still refused to admit had been abuse growing up. Whenever Butters felt powerful, his first instinct was to hurt someone else, usually someone he loved because that was what he had been taught, in a way. They didn't love him any less for it, and worked hard to help him though he refused to admit a problem.

As such, Kenny very, very slowly inched towards the gun wielding teen, both hands up and visible. He casually maneuvered himself between Butters and Scott, not because he thought Butters would fire on him, but because it was impossible to know if the gun would misfire on it's own. It sounded like their was only one bullet, and Kenny would be damn sure it hit him before either of his boyfriends.

The fear that they had felt the first time the situation had arisen had long since been extinguished. Butters fought the urge to hurt them, knowing it was wrong deep inside of him, and not wanting to do it, and they had had a lot of practice in deescalation. As such, with very practiced, but careful, movements, Kenny slipped the shot gun from Butters' hold, taking his hand in his.

They had found that, if they could get close, nothing helped ground Butters better than gentle physical contact. Running full tilt and tackling him to the ground was just about the worst thing they could do, as it not only agitated him, but greatly increased the likelihood of someone getting injured.

With the gun safely out of the way, and Butters returning to himself, Scott moved closer and pressed a soft kiss to his cheeks and forehead, taking the weapon from Kenny and carrying it to the car, storing it in the trunk as Kenny got Butters into the car.

Once they were all in and buckled, the momentary tenseness from the situation melted away, leaving them back to their normal, happy selves as Kenny turned on the car and began to drive them back to the city.

* * *

 **Hmm. It's weird this is probably the longest chapter I've written, but also the strangest. When I thought of doing this vine, Scott wasn't even here, and the entire ending with Butters didn't exist, but the story took on a mind of it's own I guess and decided that's how it wanted to be written.**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	38. Are You Blind?

Vine - I Thought You Were American, stephen pendleton

Requested by: Geeky da pinecone (Discord)

* * *

It was rather unfortunate, Bebe thought, how easily Clyde was confused. Simple things did the trick with such frequency, she was a bit surprised he wasn't in a constant state of near-panic like Tweek. Then again, his ability to deny was incredibly strong as well, almost to the level of Cartman. But that douche had convinced himself people liked him, and people really did like Clyde. No, rather, Clyde had convinced himself he was as straight as an arrow.

To all of the girls at South Park middle school, it was as clear as crystal who held Clyde's affections though the boy himself didn't know it. Rather, he had dumped all of his effort and time into her of all people. While many of the boys had been extremely into Bebe for a while, it had died out after a while. This was more than welcome, seeing as Bebe was not exactly interested in boys. In fact, she'd go as far as to say she didn't find them attractive. At least, not in the same way girls were.

Bebe hadn't spent long in confusion, thanks to Big Gay Al and Mr. Slave helping her understand nothing was wrong with her for her preferences. They'd even helped her hone her ability to pick others out in a crowd. So, of everyone in the school, who was the calmest when the Tweek and Craig fiasco went down? Bebe Stevens. She was surprised by the reactions; of course they were gay, just look at them and their actions! Maybe they hadn't been particularly interested in one another, but Bebe was a firm believer that that was mostly due to them not realizing the other's existence.

Then, when Stan and Wendy had broken up for the last time, was she surprised when Stan came out as gay with Kyle as his bi-lover? Not in the slightest. Or when Wendy came out as pansexual? Hardly. She might not have known the exact team everyone was swinging for, but Bebe knew at a glance when someone wasn't only going one way.

Kenny, Butters, Red, Nicole. She called each one. Not out loud, naturally. It would have been rude of her to out someone who wasn't ready. But this brought her back to Clyde and the predicament she found herself in now. At this point, even her vast wealth of patience was beginning to run dry.

She was sitting beside Clyde on the couch in the Donovan's living room. He had invited her over to hang out and talk, but everyone knew what that meant. Clyde wanted to ask Bebe out, and she was going to have to break his sweet heart.

Knowing it would only get harder the longer she took, Bebe glanced at the coy curled up in the corner of the couch, his eyes locked on the screen of his switch. A movie was playing on Netflix, but neither had been interested, Bebe getting on her phone to keep Wendy up to date on what was happening. She'd glanced at him on occasion, trying to guess what he was thinking. Being able to guess someone's likely sexuality was one thing, being able to read their minds was another.

Finally, she put out her hand, touching his arm lightly. "Hey," she said, getting him to look away from the screen in his hands. "I'm a lesbian." Was it not obvious? To be fair, Clyde was a dense motherfucker, so it likely was and he just didn't realize. She was yanked out of her thoughts by his slight laugh and goofy smile.

"I thought you were American," he answered. It was so natural and smooth, that for a good couple minutes, Bebe's brain short circuited due to the shear stupidity of what he had just said to her. She took time to process his words, then slowly let her eyes sink shut as she pressed her palms to her eyes.

"Clyde," she began, speaking slowly. "I like you a lot. Shut up, don't speak." She snapped her command when she heard him open his mouth and take a breath to answer. She paused until she heard his mouth close once more. "I like you, but not in a romantic way. I'm sorry, Clyde, but I like girls. I'm a giant lesbian and I'm dating Wendy. I have been for like seven months at this point. We haven't been hiding it either, so I don't know how you didn't notice."

She looked up at him, and her heart shriveled. It was the saddest look she had ever seen anyone give to another living thing in her entire life. For a hot minute, she wanted to take it back, but she pushed on.

"I'm really sorry," she said again. "I love you in a friend way, not a boyfriend way."

He was up and running almost before her sentence was all the way out. With a surprised yelp, she took off after him, afraid what the now-sobbing boy would do. She had an inkling, but she wanted to be entire sure first.

Chasing after Clyde in a mad dash through town was not easy, but as they neared a familiar house, she let herself slow to stop and knew it was worth it. Clyde had, of course, gone to the only person who could help him heart not hurt. Someone Bebe had formed a conclusion for months before Nicole came out.

She stood outside the gate to Token Black's house, watching as Clyde burst inside with a sense of comfort that Bebe knew. She did the same to Wendy when she had a bad thing happen to her. Turning around, she started back towards her house, unaware of the eyes that watched her from the second floor even as the door to his room burst open and he found himself with an armful of sobbing Clyde.

Token patted Clyde's hair gently, unable to keep the small smile that formed on his face away as he watched her leave. In his mind, he sent her a silent thank you.

The next day at school, everyone was surprised when Clyde walked in hand-in-hand with Token, looking happier than he had ever been before. Bebe and Token locked eyes and winked at one another before parting, Token following Clyde down the hall as Bebe made her way to Wendy's locker.

Wendy gave her a suspicious look. "Why do I get the feeling you aren't shocked about this like all the rest of us are?" she asked.

Bebe grinned, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Because I'm not."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	39. Holy Shit, I Can't Believe That Worked

Vine - Me at Job Interviews, Thomas Sanders

* * *

Tweek hated his father for a number of reasons, so many so that he had begun to write them all down in a journal. Bebe called it "keeping receipts" or some weird shit that the girls did. All he knew what he now had a notebook filled with written accounts of real things that had happened to him because of or around his father, along with printed out screenshots of emails and texts the man had actually sent him.

The teen hated the man so much, that since his fifteenth birthday, he hadn't called him dad once. He was known exclusively as "dick" at home and in the cafe, and within his friend group, the name was added onto.

Being raised to take over the family coffee shop had some perks, but for the most part, Tweek found he hated every single second. Whether that was due to his disdain for his father or not, he wasn't sure, but he knew for a fact as soon as it was his, he was shutting it down.

Richard, or Dick, had a terrible habit of not hiring people to work in the store, even though the extra help was clearly needed. For whatever reason, he also made Tweek sit in on every single interview. He told his son it was about learning how to deal with bad news, but Tweek figured it was just a form of torture his shit father liked to put him though.

Moving to a small town in the mountains of Colorado hadn't been something he had looked forward too, either. Tweek had been relatively fond of Denver, for all the dangers that city life posed. Dick had used the excuse that small towns liked mom and pop shops, meaning it would be better for business, but Tweek thought he was an idiot.

Seriously, who moves to a brand new place when your only child is about to start his senior year of high school? Is it actually possible to pull a bigger dick move? Tweek didn't think so.

Tweek wasn't an outgoing person, either. It had taken him all eleven years of his school career to make exactly five close friends, to shy to approach anyone, and his twitching putting others off from coming near him.

A week after arriving in the small town of South Park, Tweek leaned against the front counter, bored out of his mind, watching with exhausted eyes as the people bustled by, going about their daily lives. It was the grand opening of Tweek Bros. Coffee, and they had had zero customers. As far as Tweek could tell, no one even glanced in the direction of the new shop.

Sighing, he straightened and turned to the machines behind him. His parents had left him to work alone for a while, returning to the new house to unpack and arrange everything. As he made himself a cup of coffee, the bell above the door rang, signalling someone had entered.

He turned around, his standard greeting already coming out of his mouth as he took in the new person and stopped, his eyes locking on probably the most handsome dude he had ever seen in his life. Tweek had known for a long time he was gay as hell, but this was the first time he had ever seen another guy and desperately wanted to talk with him. Just a conversation, then dating, then married with kids, then dying old together and- He shook his head quickly, his hair whipping around as he snapped side to side.

"How can I help you?" he asked, unable to keep the shakiness from his tone.

The new comer watching him, his expression blank. His eyes were a deep blue, and Tweek found he couldn't look at them long or he feared he would drown. Was that even possible? It certainly felt like it, and he wasn't going to risk that.

"I need an application."

Oh god, his voice was so deep and manly, Tweek cursed himself for having such a high one. Seriously, he fucking squeaked, how dumb was that? It didn't help he looked like an uncooked noodle, or a bit of yarn that was unfurling.

Nodding silently to answer the other, he reached under the counter and grabbed one of the useless sheets of paper. He didn't know why Dick always had so many. He hadn't hired anyone in the city, as he had forced Tweek to watch so many fucking times, why would he bother to print out more and tell him to hand them out? Maybe Dick got off on being a dick.

Tweek stared at the paper in his hand, then glanced up at the handsome stranger, biting his lip as he struggled with what to say. The teen hadn't said another word, his entire demeanor cool as Tweek had an internal break down.

Finally, his arm shot out, shoving the paper into the other's face. "Don't hold your breath," he murmured. "He's never hired anyone before."

Taking the page, Tweek was blessed with a slight smile. "That's fine. I just have to apply, no one said I had to get the job." Folding it up, he slipped the application into his jacket pocket. Tweek thought he would leave then, but instead, the stranger leaned down, his arms on the counter. Tweek gulped, having not really taken into consideration just how huge the dude was, towering over him as well has having probably a substantial weight difference too. Not that Tweek couldn't defend himself, but it didn't make it less intimidating.

"I'm Craig, by the way," he said. He didn't wait for Tweek to answer before adding, "Where you named after the store, or was this store named after you?"

Tweek couldn't contain the nervous laugh that burst out of him, and his cheeks felt like they were on fire as he shut his mouth and looked down at his shoes. "Uh, the store was first," he managed to force out through his embarrassment. A deep chuckle graced his ears then, and Tweek could have died happy.

"Interesting. I'll see you around, Tweek," Craig said before straightening.

He was long gone by the time he managed to whisper back, "Yeah... see you..."

* * *

Three days later, Tweek saw Craig again, but in what he considered to be the worst possible place for a reunion. They were in Dick's already cluttered, cramped office that was just a closet off the side of the backroom. Craig had returned his application at a rare time Tweek wasn't in the shop, thus making it impossible for him to warn of what was going to happen.

Currently, the three were huddled around Dick's desk as he shifted through the clutter for something, Tweek off to his side, and Craig opposite them both. He seemed just as relaxed as the last time Tweek had seen him, his hands in his pockets as he leaned back in his seat. Finally, Dick found whatever he was looking for and brought his attention to the other, holding Craig's application.

Tweek rolled his eyes, mildly surprised Dick had actually held onto the thing. He usually threw them away as soon as he saw them. The man wasted no time, getting right into the interview.

"Why do you want this job?" he asked.

"Because please."

Father and son paused to stare at Craig, neither having heard that answer before. Tweek thought it was brave. Who had the nerves to just say something like that? Apparently, Craig- he snuck as glance at the paper- Tucker did.

Momentarily taken aback, Dick cleared his throat then moved on to the next question. "Do you have a resume?"

"Sure do." Craig pulled a crumpled page from his pocket, tossing it onto the desk. Dick smoothed it out, and Tweek had to fight hard not to laugh. Only one word was written, and in big, bold letters, it said, " **Please** ".

Quickly losing the hold he had mistakenly thought he'd had on the interview, Dick asked, "Any references?"

Without saying anything, Craig pulled his phone from his pocket and held it up to them. A number had been called, listed at the top as "Mom". The desperate voice of a woman suddenly came through. " _Please._ "

Dick stood up, mumbling something they couldn't hear before walking out. As soon as he was gone, Tweek let himself laugh. He loved seeing Dick be thrown off his game. He always thought himself so high and mighty, it was a pure delight to see him reminded he was anything but.

"You have a nice laugh."

The sound died in his throat as his wide eyes snapped to Craig's face, the teen still looking as casual as ever.

"Nice voice, too," he added. "And eyes. Face. Really, everything about you seem super fuckin' dope."

Tweek's so called "dope" face lit up like a Christmas tree. He wasn't used to getting compliments. "Thanks," he said slowly, wondering if he should repay the compliment. "You, uh, you AGH!" He wanted to scream as his tick burst from him, embarrassing him to an entirely new level. Craig just smiled.

"Cute, too. I'm gay, by the way, so you know, if you don't like my flirting, just tell me. I'm not a douche, so I won't keep doing it if it makes you uncomfortable.

"I'M GAY, TOO!" He hadn't meant to scream it, but he had, and now he had to deal with the consequences. Which turned out to be a bigger smile from Craig. Huh, that wasn't so bad...

"I'm interested in you, Tweek," he said, leaning forward to look into the twitchy boy's eyes. "I don't know why, really, but I'd like to get to know you. Maybe it's just infatuation since you're the first new kid we've had here since fourth grade, but regardless, I'm determined to be your friend, if not your boyfriend, at some point this year."

Tweek's mouth opened and closed in shock. No one had ever said something like that to him before, and while flattered, he was unsure how to respond. Before his brain could pick something to shriek for the world to hear, the door opened and Dick looked in.

"You're hired," he said. "Be here tomorrow at seven. Tweek will show you how to open."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	40. You're Such A Dork

Vine - i'm trying to learn, Drew Gooden

Requested by: kayleigh (Discord)

* * *

Kenny's sense of humor was something that Butters often found he didn't understand. Sure, most where innuendos that took him time to figure out the meaning of, but more often than not, Kenny would make small comments out of nowhere that Butters wasn't entirely sure how to react too.

They were in Kenny's car, driving down to Denver for the day, planning to have a double date with Tweek and Craig at the amusement park there. The high way had been under construction for quite a while, and various exits were closed off and signs had been placed all over the place. It made the relatively short trip longer as it created bottle necks in traffic, but Butters didn't mind too much.

After all, it was more time with Kenny, and less time at home.

Things had improved in the Stotch household since Butters had graduated high school, but only marginally. His parents had realized they honestly couldn't ground him any longer, but this didn't mean they couldn't still scream at him.

It was common for Kenny to get a call in the early hours of the morning from his boyfriend, and it broke his heart to hear his sadness. He was working hard to get enough money to put a down-payment on an apartment in the city, intending to move there with Karen and Butters by the fall when Butters would begin school. Kevin had left a few year ago, but still sent back money and letters to his younger siblings whenever he could to help out.

The pair were jolted out of their thoughts as the car hit a particularly bad bump, making them bounce hard against the doors and each other.

Butters rubbed the spot where his shoulder had cracked against the window, wincing. "Are you okay, Ken?" he asked, looking over.

Kenny nodded, both hands firmly on the wheel, the bandana that usually covered his mouth hanging from his neck. "I'm fine, Leo. You?"

"I'm good."

They heard a loud bang behind them, and Butters whipped around in his seat to look out the back window as Kenny looked through the rear view mirror. Behind them, a semi-truck had hit the spot they had just passed, and even from a distance, they could see the surprise on his face. They grinned, then began to laugh, the tension that had snuck up on them defusing.

"Well that was a mini-adventure," Kenny said, flipping his turn signal and merging into the left lane. "Ever been on a drop tower, Leo? That's find of what they're like."

"Oh gosh, no," Butters said, his eyes widening. "That sounds like it'd be real scary though! Does it make a sound like that too?"

"Nah, it's just that feeling you get in your stomach when suddenly whatever is under you drops. Like when you are falling asleep and suddenly feel like your falling. It's more like that," Kenny explained. "They're fun, we should try one."

Butters nodded in agreement, smiling as he looked out the window. They were nearing the city, and his excitement was building. Butters had never been to the park with Kenny before, his parents having always said no. Now that he was eighteen and couldn't stop him, he'd jumped at the first opportunity. It had really sucked to be unable to go out some place neat on a date with his boyfriend of what was coming up on four years, but in a way, Butters was almost grateful. He knew he wouldn't have enjoyed it as much even a year ago, being worried over what could happen that would get him grounded. The punishment no longer hanging over his every move, Butters was able to more freely everything he did. It was extremely liberating.

Silence fell over them again, but it was comfortable and easy, neither feeling the need to fill the quite with noise. He began to think about his parents again, wondering, as he tended to do, what could happen at the park that his parents would try to pin on him. He had never understood how everything always ended up being his fault. Kenny's voice drew his attention.

"'Road work ahead'? Uh, yeah," he said, sounding annoyed. "I sure hope it does."

Butters stared at his boyfriend in confusion, looking out the front window and seeing the red road work sign pass them. Kenny was grinning and watching him from the corner of his eye, and while Butters knew immediately it had been a joke, it took him a few minutes to process it.

When it clicked together for him, he couldn't help the snort that escaped him, and he punched Kenny's arm lightly. "You're so silly, Kenny," he chuckled. "What even made you think to say that?"

"I dunno, thought it might make you laugh was all. You know that's my favorite thing ever," Kenny answered casually, making the teen beside him blush and splutter in embarrassment.

"You're a dork!" Butters managed to squeal after a few attempts at speaking produced nothing but a jumbled mass of sound.

"Maybe so, but I'm _your_ dork," he cooed affectionately, making Butters flush. "Besides, you had that look on your face that meant youweren't thinking of happy things. Someone as good as you shouldn't ever have to think of anything that isn't good."

Letting out a huff, Butters flopping back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest. "That's gay. You're gay, Kenny."

"Technically pan, but I suppose at the moment saying I'm gay works perfectly fine," Kenny teased, reaching out and ruffling Butters' soft, bouncy hair. "But you're dating me, so what does that make you?"

Catching his hand, Butters smiled as he pressed a kiss to the back of it. "The luckiest motherfucker on this planet."

Upon seeing Kenny blush, he let out a cheer internally. Kenny always said such nice things, as cheesy as they were, to him, and it felt nice to be able to return the favor.

"Who's gay now?" Kenny muttered under his breath, squeezing Butters' hand lightly.

"If it means I get to be with you, then me."

"Dammit, Butters, since when did you get to be such a smooth bitch?"

"What can I say, I had a great teacher."

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	41. Dude, He's Fucking Cute!

Vine - When you can talk to your best friend through eye contact, Chris Remson

* * *

Craig had figured out in elementary school that he was gay. It had taken his father some time to come around to the idea, but once he had, it hadn't been a problem; in fact, his dad has been a huge supporter and the reason he had gotten the confidence to come out to his friends as well.

Everyone had accepted him easily, and he had been relieved that there were no "does that mean you have a crush on me?" jokes, aside from Cartman, but Craig couldn't give a single less fuck about him, so it didn't matter.

He wasn't the only gay kid in South Park, as it turned out, which was fine by him. Even if he didn't romantically like anyone else who came out (tough luck, McCormick), it was nice to know he wasn't alone in his feelings. Stan and Kyle had come out as a couple, then Wendy and Bebe. More had followed until it seemed like pretty much every single kid in South Park was out.

Only one coming out had surprised him: his best friend, Clyde Donovan. Clyde had never shown an interest in dudes before, but Craig knew that didn't mean shit. He technically hadn't either when he came out. Clyde told him first, wanting his best buddy to be the first to know, as well as wanting to tell him about his crush on the pair's other friend, Token.

Craig had listened to Clyde talk, gushing over the boy with nothing but affection and admiration. He wondered if he could ever talk about someone like that. It was the first time Craig ever felt the pull to be in a relationship, though it faded quickly after it had surfaced.

Soon after, Clyde had ended up blurting out his feelings in the middle of the lunch room, only to immediately grow embarrassed and sprint from the room. Token had chased him, and as far as Craig was concerned, the rest was history. For such a small, hick town, it was very open and accepting. It was kind of nice. However, it also made it so everyone was up in Craig's business at all points in his life.

As couples began to form, people began trying to pair Craig up with others, which annoyed him to no end. He didn't need anyone playing a damn matchmaker; when he found someone he wanted to be with, he would act on it himself. He didn't need help with his love life from the insane adults that populated the area and spread their tomfoolery to everything they interacted with.

When the new boy arrived in town their junior year, Craig was hit so hard with _feelings_ , he fell into the locker he had been leaning on as his eyes looked ready to pop out of his head. Clyde, who he had been talking to, turned around in confusion to see what had Craig in a mess. A grin spread over his face as he saw him, and he looked back at his friend, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Like what you see?" he teased.

"Shut up, don't talk to me," Craig pushed out, his voice horse all of a sudden, his throat choked with nerves. Holy shit, this new boy was fine as fuck. Soft looking, crazy puffy blonde hair, beautiful eyes that shifted from blue to green, a splash of freckles over his nose...

Craig Tucker was instantly smitten. And he didn't even believe in love at first site.

The bell rang suddenly, and the teen let out a piercing screech that made Clyde wince, but Craig grinned. Clyde rolled his eyes at his friend, grabbing his arm and pulling him behind him towards their first class of the day. He knew Craig had a type, he just hadn't expected it to be blondes with potentially major issues.

* * *

As it turned out, the new kid, Tweek Tweak, shared a majority of Craig's classes, including their lunch period. It helped Craig calm down a bit, being able to stare at him from the back of the room without fear of being caught by the other. He found he highly enjoyed watching Tweek, finding his jittery movements and little shrikes endearing in a way he couldn't put his finger on.

His last class of the day he had with both Tweek and Clyde. It was also the only class the two sat in the front, the teacher having gotten wise to their trouble making ways and forcing them to be closer to the her where she could keep her eye on them. The only free seat was in the back of the room, and for a split second Craig regretted all the messing around he and Clyde had done at the beginning of the year to be punished, though it melted instantly as Tweek walked in, spotted him, and _smiled_.

Craig turned into a melted mess in a second, his train of thought falling from it's track, crashing and burning as Tweek made his way over to him. Clyde, who was seated beside him, notice what was happening, and grinned brightly. Damn, Craig had it bad. Tweek passed by him and stopped in front of Craig's desk.

"Hey," he greeted. His voice was much higher than Craig had thought it would be, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Tweek was _talking to him holy shit_. His eyes as wide as they would go, his gaze snapped to Clyde.

' _Oh my god,_ ' he thought as their eyes locked, his brain screaming. ' _Bro!_ '

Clyde winked at him. ' _I know, bro, he's dope sexy~,_ ' he thought back. In response, Craig's mind just collapsed into more screaming.

Tweek didn't notice his distress, as, aside from the change in his eyes, Craig looked as uninterested as he usually did. "I uh, saw that we have a lot of classes together and um... well, I was wondering if maybe you could... help me? Maybe we could be friends? Agh, sorry if that's forward, but this town is so new, and that's so much pressure!" His hands tangled in his hair, yanking harshly.

Craig's body reacted because his brain was still losing it's shit. He stood up, a good foot taller than Tweek, gently grabbing his wrists and moving his hands away. "Don't do that," he said firmly, but kindly. "I'd hate to see you hurt yourself."

Tweek's face turned red and he began to scream, his eyes squeezing shut as his hands fluttered in Craig's hold. "AAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Clyde watched them both, leaning against his hand. ' _Aw, they were practically made for each other!_ ' he cooed internally. ' _This is going to be great!_ '

* * *

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	42. We Can Get Another, Don't Worry

Vine - tripped on his skateboard behind him hahahha, imchasen

Requested by: Alexia (Guest)

* * *

Kenny loved sleeping in on the weekend. Being able to wake up at his own pace, not needing to be anywhere at any point if he didn't want to be. It was great. Only two things could get him to drag himself out of his warm bed before he was good and ready: Karen, and his boyfriend. He adored his sister too much to not do something she requested, and his energetic man simply was not one to be ignored.

This was how Kenny found himself outside of Clyde's house at eleven am. Not early by any means, but for a vigilante crime fighter, any hour ending in am that was not being spent dealing out justice was a sleeping hour. Or at least, Kenny figured that was the case, not having first hand knowledge on the topic.

Holding his phone to his ear, he listened to the ringing on the other end, waiting for it to be picked up. As soon as he heard the click, he spoke. "I'm outside, babe. Grab your stuff and let's go or there will be a line."

Half a second after ending the call, the front door burst open and Clyde shot outside. With a brilliant smile on his face, he propelled himself into Kenny's arms, squealing with excitement.

"Free taco day! Let's go, let's go!" he cheered. Kenny smiled back, always loving Clyde's enthusiasm for the simple things in life. Getting on their skateboards, the couple rolled into town, heading to the Taco Bell. It was the pairs favorite place to go, as it was both cheap and filling. They were the first in line, Clyde dancing side to side as they were watched by the smiling employees inside.

"Call down a bit," Kenny laughed, patting his back. "You'll get your taco, don't worry."

"Kenny, I take free taco day very seriously," Clyde answered with a grin. "This isn't something you just line up for in an orderly fashion, allowing it to be handed to you for consumption as though it were an everyday occurrence. Oh no, this is a special occasion."

"God you're a dork, but you're also super cute, so it all works out," Kenny teased, earning an indignant whine and light punch in the arm. "I'm going to call Kare and ask her what she wants, I'll be right back."

Letting Clyde go in, Kenny moved off to the side and called his sister, talking with her for a few minutes before returning turning back. He smiled when he saw Clyde coming back outside, his shinning eyes glued on the wrapped food item in his hands.

"Hey, how much did you pay for that taco?" he asked jokingly as Clyde walked towards him.

Doing a little dance, Clyde sang, "Aye, you know dis boi got his free taco-" Suddenly, Clyde was falling, and Kenny watched in horror. His had stepped back onto his skateboard, and the thing had rolled out from under him, dropping Clyde like an empty sauce packet. His precious taco was lost from his grip, hitting the ground and spilling it's contents over the pavement.

Clyde groaned in pain, then rolled onto his side and pushed himself up onto his knees. Looking around and seeing his food, tears welled in his eyes and he let out a sniffle, a clear sign that he was about to start hardcore sobbing.

Kneeling beside him, Kenny pulled him into a gentle hug, cooing reassuringly. "No no no," he murmured, gently wiping Clyde's eyes. "It's okay, love, don't cry. It's going to be alright. You don't have to cry over this, we can get you another."

"No we can't," Clyde whimpered. "It's only one per person, and they know us..."

"Yeah, they do, so if we go back in and let them know what happened, they'll understand," Kenny soothed. He stood up, pulling Clyde with him. "You got a little scrapped up though, so let's get you taken care of first, yeah?"

Nodding weakly, Clyde allowed Kenny to pull him back into the restaurant, keeping his eyes locked on his feet. Kenny went to the counter first and got a few band-aids, then went into the bathroom and got Clyde to sit on the counter. Once he was in position, Kenny carefully cleaned the dirt and bits of gravel from the scraps Clyde had along his arm and leg on the right side. When they were clean, he lightly kissed each before putting a band-aid over the injury. By the time he was finished, Clyde had stopped crying, and instead was blushing.

"You don't have to do that, Ken," he murmured. He liked when Kenny did things like that personally, it reminded him of when his mother would do the same, but it was a bit strange to have him do in public.

Kenny smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips next, making him splutter in surprise as his face darkened.

"I know I don't," he said. "But I want too. It makes you feel better, and that makes me feel better." Helping him down, they left the bathroom hand in hand. Embarrassment took over, and Clyde returned to watching his feet as Kenny explained to the worker at the register what had happened.

They gladly agreed to give him another taco, as well as getting Kenny his. Placing the order for Karen as well, the boys got their food and headed through the doors. Being more careful this time, Clyde kept a close eye on his skateboard and he wolfed down his hard-won prize, making Kenny laugh.

"I love you, Clyde," he said as the boy wiped sauce and food bits from his face.

He stopped, looking at Kenny curiously for a moment before smiling. "Well, thanks," he laughed, his cheeks red.

His own face changing color, Kenny realized it was the first time he had ever told his boyfriend he loved him. Sure, he thought it almost everyday, especially when he saw him doing something cute or Clyde-like. But this time, it had slipped out, and had felt so natural, he hadn't even thought to stop it. But... why had Clyde not said it back? Did he not feel the same?

His thoughts were cut off sharply from their path when Clyde pulled him into a tight, unexpected hug, snuggling into him.

"I love you too, Kenny."

* * *

 **I know I said something about this a while ago, but now is when I've come to a final decision. My third year at college is coming to an end soon, then I'm going to be working all summer. I love writing these vines, but the time it takes to make them is always more than I anticipate, so I end up spending a lot of time writing these and don't get to work on my actual stories. To be clear: _I'm not quitting the series, it's just going to go on a hiatus until my next school year starts!_ I'm going to write up to chapter 50, then mark the story as finished, but I will continue to accept ideas and pms about this series!**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	43. Fuck You, Cartman

Vine - Two Survivors, Branden Calvillo

* * *

Hanging out with Eric Cartman was one of the things that Kenny enjoyed doing the least. He wouldn't say he hated the other, but he definitely held no special fondness for him either. Overall, Cartman was just another person who happened to live close by. They were in the same friend group solely due to having grown up together, not because of any kind of shared interest.

Television, books, movies, music, games? All were different. The same may have been almost the full truth for Stan and Kyle as well, but Kenny found them to be genuinely nice people who just made mistakes and could be selfish. But hey, they were all kids, they were suppose to be selfish now and grow out of that later. The only reason Kenny wasn't was because he couldn't be. He had to look after Karen instead. Not that he minded, he loved his sister, it had just made him grow up faster.

He hadn't wanted to go on a walk in the woods with Cartman. He hadn't wanted to leave his relatively warm house (not warm at all, actually, but better than being outside). He'd have rather done his fucking homework than hike through knee-high snow mounds. But here he was, walking through snow, his feet soaking wet as he grew colder and more miserable.

Kenny wasn't even really sure why Cartman had wanted to go. The other boy rarely asked him to do things, and usually they ended up being mean spirited. So far, however, he had been strangely quiet, trudging along without a single complaint.

When it began to snow and the danger of losing their trail back became real, Kenny stopped, forcing Cartman to do the same.

"(Why did you drag me out here?)" he demanded, his voice muffled by his parka hood. "(It had better be something good, dude.)"

"Can't a guy just want to hang out with his buddy?" Cartman huffed, glancing around at the trees in favor of meeting Kenny's gaze. "It's a nice day, and I didn't want to be inside. I hate Kyle, and Stan wasn't going to want to come, but I figured you'd be willing to stretch your legs so..."

"(Don't bullshit me,)" Kenny snapped. "(You hate being out if you have a reason to stay inside on your ass. What do you want, Cartman? I don't want to be out here all day-)"

"I need advice!" Cartman blurted, making the Kenny pause and look at him suspiciously.

"(Advice on what?)" he ventured cautiously.

"On being poor."

Sucking in a deep breath, Kenny let his eyes close as Cartman launched into a speech about how hard it was, and that Kenny was the only one who could truly understand the pain he was going through.

Controlling his urge not to punch Cartman in the back of the head and leave him in the woods for dead, Kenny took in their surroundings before coming to the conclusion they were hopelessly lost. They had never gone so deep (he giggled at the accidental innuendo), and he didn't have the slightest clue of how to get out other than to just start walking and hope for the best.

He started walking, not giving a shit if Cartman kept up or not, secretly hoping he wouldn't. A bit sadly, he heard the boy running to catch up to him, but he kept his mouth shut. Maybe if he didn't talk, Cartman wouldn't either.

It was merely wishful thinking, as Cartman loved nothing more than the sound of his own voice, and quickly the silence was filled with his useless rambling about nothing. Thankfully, the padding around his head, on top of the snow falling around them, helped drown out most of what he was saying.

It wasn't until they had been walking for an hour that he became annoyed and cranky. After snapping at Cartman for the tenth time for admittedly minor things, Cartman called him out.

"Why are you being such a dick, Kenny?" he snapped, turning away from him and crossing his arms.

Kenny sighed, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. "(Sorry, sorry,)" he conceded as his stomach rumbled, making him groan. "Ugh... I'm starving."

The sound of a loud crunch pricked at Kenny's ears, and he whirled around to see Cartman watching him over his shoulder, his mouth stuffed with fried potato sliced delight.

"(...Are you eating chips?)" he questioned.

Spinning around to face him while looking guilty, the bag in his hands, Cartman swallowed. "No?" he offered weakly.

Anger flaring, Kenny rushed towards the fat boy. "(Son of a bitch!)" he yelled. Cartman screamed and took off, sprinting as fast as his chubby body would allow. Unfortunately for him, it was not far, and Kenny easily caught up.

Tackling him to the ground, they wrestled for the bag. To be completely honest, Kenny didn't even really want the chips, it was simply a matter of principal. Cartman did shit like this all the time, but today, on top of his fucking questions, proved too much for Kenny to handle.

Cartman tried hard to keep his grip on the bag, realizing too late that Kenny wasn't trying to actually take it. Instead, Kenny was crushing all the chips inside. Letting out a wail, he rolled, finally knocking Kenny off as he clutched his ruined chips.

"Screw you, Kenny!" he bawled. "I'm going home!" Taking off, Kenny heaved a sigh and pushed himself onto his feet, following the footprints. If nothing else, Cartman would lead him home.

Stepping in Cartman's footprints, Kenny decided then and there that he would never go someplace alone with him ever again. It never turned out well for him, and he was sick of it. At least when Stan and Kyle were around, it was more entertaining, and they were somewhat better at keeping Cartman in check. Whatever, it was in the past now.

Now, what to make Karen for lunch?

* * *

 **Reminder that this story will be going on hiatus after chapter 50 until August.**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	44. Get It Right Next Time

Vine - untitled, Matt King

Requested by: destiny (guest)

* * *

If there was one thing American parents loved, it was seeing their children perform in school plays. Regardless of the play itself or the roll their children had, it would be filmed by at least one of the parents of every child and shared a million times on Facebook so distant relatives could see and coo over how cute they were when all dressed up.

This was very bit the reality in South Park. Parents fought one another for the best seats, actual fist fights being a common occurrence for the front row. The play this time around was about space, staring Tweek, Craig, Stan, and Kyle. Thomas merely glared his way to the front as he brandished his camera and secured three seat for his family, no one wanting to even try to fight the massive man. The Tuckers never fought for the front, and everyone was happy to give it to them in favor of being their asses beat. Sharon and Sheila knocked out a few other parents before settling beside the Tuckers. The two women didn't need to save any other seats, their husbands filming together in back, Ike settled on his mother's lap and Shelly refusing to attend.

"Hello, Thomas, Laura," Sharon greeted, smiling at the pair warmly. "Here to support Craig I see."

"Yeah," Thomas answered, opening the viewfinder of his camera as he switched it on. As a rather gruff person, it was likely for the best, he wasn't exactly known for his conversation skills. Knowing this, Sharon didn't mind, turning her attention to Laura.

"Were are Tweek's parents?" she asked. "I didn't see then when we came in." Sheila nodded in support, glancing around the packed auditorium. Just about everyone in South Park was present for the show, and it struck her as odd that one of the main leads for the play didn't have his parents to support him.

Laura made a face, then huffed in disgust. "They aren't coming," she said, her irritation evident. "Poor Tweek showed up at our house around four crying his eyes out. Guess his dick of a father decided to skip coming and keep the cafe open even after they promised him they'd come."

"Oh, that's simply horrible," Sheila gasped, her eyes wide. "Poor Tweek, is he okay now?"

"Yeah, we took him with us to dinner and that seemed to help a lot," she confirmed. "He was a bit worked up still when we got here, but Craig is very good at helping him calm down, so I'm not worried." The woman was practically glowing with pride when she said this, obviously proud of her son.

The two beside her nodded, voicing their agreement that Craig was a very good little boyfriend to the Tweak boy.

"Do you happen to know what the play is about?" Laura asked. "Craig wouldn't tell us, said he wanted it to be a surprise. They didn't even bring home their costumes, they left them here so we wouldn't see them."

"I'm not sure what the story is, but I know it's space themed," Sheila answered, tightening her arms around Ike as he began to slide off her lap. "Kyle asked for help to make his costume so he had to let me know. I'm amazed though, did the boys make theirs alone?"

"It seems that way. Unless they got someone else to help them," Laura said with a shrug. Another woman joined them at the end of the row, filling it. "Oh. hello, Mrs. Rodriguez. I take it Davíd is in the play?"

"Yes, I'm looking forward to it," Mrs. Rodriguez answered with a smile. "My husband is in the back to film."

The lights lowered, signalling the start of the show. The parents quieted as Mr. Mackey came on stage to thank them for attending and supporting the children before he vacated the stage, allowing it to truly begin.

The curtain opened, revealing Stan and Kyle sitting in the center of the stage, staring up the the hanging star decorations above them.

"Wow, look at all the stars!" Kyle said, his voice confident. "There are so many!"

Stan nodded in agreement. "Yeah. But look!" He pointed to his right, and a spot light came on, illuminating Craig, who was dressed in all grey, his face and hands painted to match, though some dark spots had been dotted on his shirt and face. "It's the moon!"

Laura smiled proudly, checking to be sure her husband was filming, which he was.

Craig stared at the pair blankly for a moment before speaking. "Yo," he said flatly. "I'm pretty cool. People can walk on me, at least, if they can get to me."

"Wow!" the pair in the middle chorused. "That's amazing, Mr. Moon!"

"Whatever. Hey, you know the dude who shows up when I'm not here? In the daytime?" Craig asked.

"You mean the sun? Yeah, why?" Kyle answered, making Sheila puff up. Her little baby was such a good actor!

"Well, apparently since I'm gay in real life," Craig began, "I have to only ever play gay characters. So, basically, the script says I wanna bang the sun or something. Like that Greek myth about the dude with wings."

The audience heard Mr. Mackey groan offstage and knew this wasn't meant to be in the play, but they rolled with it, laughing good-naturedly.

Stan recovered first. "Okay, so what, do you need us to help you woo him or something?"

"Yeah, something like that. Just tell him I said, 'What's up?'. He'll know what I mean." As he spoke, Craig walked across the stage and disappeared behind the other curtain. The stage lights brightened, signalling the day.

From the spot Craig had first appeared came Tweek. His clothes had been turned into a bright yellow sweater and pants, matching the color of his hair. His face had been painted, but he wore gardening gloves over his hands rather than having them painted.

"Stan, look! The sun!" Kyle said, motioning to the new boy. Cupping his hands over his mouth, he yelled out to him. "Dude! The moon is gay for you! He said to tell you what's up! What should we say ba-!" He was cut off by Stan covering his mouth.

"Wait, dude! We don't want to play messenger for forever!" he reasoned. "Let's help him figure out a way to talk to him on his own!"

"That's a good idea," the boy agreed before turning back towards Tweek, who was slowly inching his way across the stage. "We'll only give him one message for you, so pick something good!"

Tweek turned, walking backwards as he thought before saying, "Tell him, 'Sorry you always have to be gay, but I have to be too, so it works out.' Thanks, guys!" Not caring that that part had not been in Craig's message and he wasn't technically suppose to know it, he disappeared backstage as the audience laughed again, this time missing the sounds of Mr. Mackey's distress.

Stan and Kyle shrugged at one another. Craig and Tweek weren't following their lines, but they were still moving along the same plot, so it ultimately didn't matter much, especially since it didn't affect their own performances.

When Craig appeared again and they had relayed Tweek's message, they asked what Craig was going to do since they weren't willing to play telephone with them. Craig sighed, shaking his head.

"I have a guy I can ask," he told them before disappearing. As he left, Davíd appeared, Mrs. Rodriguez lit up, smiling brightly at her son and waving to him, catching his attention. He waved back slightly before setting off toward's Tweek who was back on the other side of the stage.

As he passed, Kyle pointed at him, his eyes wide. "Whoa, a shooting star," he said in awe.

Stopping dead in his tracks, Davíd mustered up the most offended look he possibly could. "Boy, I am a _comet_ not a _star_!" he huffed.

"O-Oh, uh," Kyle stuttered, "sorry!"

His face morphing to one of resignation, Davíd shook his head as he began to walk once more. "It's fine, it happens all the time," he said in defeat, trudging the rest of the way to Tweek where he loudly gave him Craig's next message. "The moon said 'hey lil' mama, let me whisper in your ear'. I don't know what you could possibly say back, but I'm sure you'll think of something."

Tweek grinned, a few giggles escaping him before he composed himself, though their was an audible "Awe!" from the crowd, most of the adults having never heard the little boy laugh before.

"Tell him, 'it's free real-estate'," he requested, running to the other side of the stage.

Kyle and Stan looked at each other before Stan broke character for the first time, asking, "Are they just sending vine references back and forth now?"

"I think so, dude," Kyle confirmed.

The rest of the play went smoothly from there, the cast relaxing as more kids were added, all the planets coming into the story. Turned out, the play was suppose to be teaching about the planets and how they moved, but Mr. Mackey had decided that alone would have been to boring and threw in a tragic love story between the sun and moon. Of course, Craig took offense, claiming space was plenty interesting on it's own, but when Mr. Mackey didn't back down, he and Tweek plotted their revenge.

Adlibbing all of their lines was only the beginning. Sharing small bits of their plans, the ending of the play was a surprise to everyone but them. Mr. Mackey had told them to really emphasize the tragedy of their romance as they sun and moon could never be together. Of course this meant that the pair chose to destroy the universe, deciding loudly that their love was more important than some what some dumb god-like figure (Mr. Mackey struggling to bring the play back on track) wanted. Thus, they chose to destroy the universe in order to be happy together, the curtain dropping right as they met in the center of the stage and hugged. Kenny, who was working behind the scenes, had impeccable timing.

The lights in the auditorium came on as the parents finished clapping and they began to move towards the exit.

"Laura, Craig and Tweek are fantastic actors, I had no idea they were so skilled," Sheila praised, rocking a sleeping Ike gentle in her arms. "You must be very proud of them."

Laura nodded, smiling at her husband as he followed behind her, eyes glued to his camera as he rewound the footage and immediately began to watch it, half to be sure he hadn't missed anything, half to avoid needing to join the conversation. "We are," she answered for them both.

"Mrs. Rodriguez," Sharon said, turning to her. "Davíd was simply precious! Oh, he was such a good comet."

The other mother glowed with pride, thanking her. "I'm so proud of my son."

Congratulations given all around, the parents collected their spouses then went to find their kids, wanting to gush over them for a while longer. Sure, Mr. Mackey may have been displeased with the end result, but it was a smash hit, and the adults of South Park intended to let their children know it.

* * *

 **Reminder that this story will be going on hiatus after chapter 50 until August.**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	45. You're Lucky I Hate Kyle More Than You

Vine - when bae's not paying attention to u, Mikaela Long

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Cartman couldn't remember what had attracted him to Heidi. She was rude, annoying, and really mean to him just all the time, for no good reason! Maybe it was just because Kyle had been interested he had clung to her. If Kyle wanted her, he sure as Hell wasn't going to let her go. Fuck that.

With reluctance, he admitted to himself in the privacy of his own mind that it might have been better if he had let her go, but he wasn't going to ever say that out loud. Kyle would never find out he had considered him to be vaguely, barely, sort of half right about something. Though maybe just admitting it would make his own life a million times easier...

He glanced down at his side to Heidi who was leaned against him, a blanket pull up over the pair's lap. She was clicking away at her phone, ignoring him entirely to be engrossed in the device. He couldn't say he minded. At least if she wasn't bored, she wouldn't demand his attention. The stupid flower on her hat kept brushing against his face, making him want to punch somebody.

Looking around the room, he spotted his cat and began to wave his arm at her, trying to get the animals attention without disturbing his girlfriend. The movement caught the cat's eye, and Mr. Kitty looked towards him, her head tilted with curiously. Grinning, Cartman motioned her closer, grimacing when instead she meowed at him.

Heidi glanced up at the cat, frowned, then returned to her phone. The second meow got a similar reaction, only longer. When the third came, Heidi put up into a sitting position.

"Eric, do something about your cat, she's annoying!" she demanded, curling herself into the opposite arm of the couch, returning to her phone with a pout on her face.

Relieved to be able to move freely, Cartman jumped up, scooping Mr. Kitty into his arms, his irritation at her meowing melting to nothing as he realized it had infuriated the girl sulking on his couch. Instead, he whispered praise into her little ears as he scratched her head affectionately, getting a purr in return.

"Good, Mr. Kitty," he murmured, making his way into the kitchen. "Keep it up and I'll give you some treats." Checking her food dish, he opened the pantry and pulled out the bag, dumping a massive helping into the cat dish. Patting her back, he pushed the cat food back and shut the door.

"BABE!" Heidi shrieked from the other room, making him groan quietly.

"Fucking bitch," he huffed before calling back, "Yeah, babe?"

"I'm bored! Watch a movie with me!"

Reentering the living room at a snail's pace, Heidi paid him no mind as she flipping through channels, searching for something interesting to watch. Finding only movies that were half way through or near the end, she ordered Eric to look at his DVD collection and read her the titles. Glad to have an excuse not to get back on the couch yet, he obliged. As he listed the films, Heidi made various sounds of disinterest, until her eyes lit up and she nodded.

"Yeah, that one," she said.

Cartman looked down at the pink case in his hands. Of all things, why his mom had been given a Barbie movie from one of her weird boyfriends he'd never know, but he did know he didn't want to watch it.

"Let's find something we _both_ want to see," he suggested, going to put it back.

"NO, you FUCK!" Heidi snapped. "I said I wanted to watch that one! I don't want to see anything else! Don't be a dick, Eric!"

Gritting his teeth hard, the boy took a moment to compose himself. He wanted nothing more than to jam the disc down her throat and tell her to go watch it at Kyle's house if she was so keen on it, but no... That would be the same as admitting defeat the the gingery Jew himself, and Cartman would rather suck Butters' dick than do that.

Putting the disc in, Heidi grabbed the remote from the side table. "Make popcorn," she ordered. "And get me a glass of water."

With a chip on his shoulder, Cartman did as she said, though with no small amount of satisfation as he spit a few times into her cup before mixing it up. Then again, this was the same girl who had drunk a million or so sentient micro-organizism, so who knew if some of his spit would even actually phase her? If only to help himself feel better, he decided it definitely would as he brought the water and popcorn bag out of the kitchen, smiling to himself as he watched her take a big gulp.

They soon settled on the couch, Cartman finding himself strangely engrossed in the movie. It wasn't particularly great, but something about it was captivating. He chalked it up to the slightly off-putting animation. It just looked like someone had scanned an actual Barbie into a 3D model. It made her hold her head at a weird angel, slightly up, while her hair was a solid mass of yellow.

He was suddenly aware of the fact that Heidi was sighing heavily. They were curled up together again, the bag of popcorn on her lap. Surprised by this, he asked, genuinely concerned, "What's wrong?"

She glared at him for a split second before turning her head away. "You haven't even looked at me in like ten minutes," she complained, crossing her arms over her chest.

This caught him off-guard. "But, honey, we're watching a movie-" he began, pointing at the screen, only for Heidi to whip her head around to face him, her voice lowering dangerously, a creepy smile on her face.

"Did I ask for an _excuse_?" she questioned, her voice dripping with sweetness.

Feeling mildly terrified, Cartman shook his head quickly, resolving in that moment not to look away from her again for more than a thirty seconds. Man, why had he needed to be so stubborn? Kyle could have been the one being tortured right now, not him! It was always Kyle's fault.

What an asshole.

* * *

 **Reminder that this story will be going on hiatus after chapter 50 until August.**

 **Quickly: to the guest trying to leave me links to youtube in their requests - I'm so sorry, but this site doesn't let you link anything other than other ff pages. I can see you're trying to request something, but I can't access those videos because it takes the url. I'm so sorry!**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	46. Why Would You Do That?

Vine - Did you wash the dishes, unknown

Requested by: Potato pants (Guest)

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Tweek and Craig had been together for fifteen years. Most hadn't expected them to last, and to be honest, they were surprised as well that they had come so far together. They had been together for over half of their lives, yet neither felt the urge to find someone new. They were in love, had been for a long time, and they were happy. Most of the time.

On occasion, one or the other would do something to royally piss each other off. Only twice had it ended in a separation, but never a break up. The first fight when they were ten over a failure of communication, then again when they were eighteen over college. They worked hard to overcome the obstacles life threw at them, and they had yet to find something they couldn't work through.

After graduating from college, Tweek had been given the task of opening a new Tweek Bros. in Denver. He was glad to do so, more than willing to accept any reason to keep out of South Park. He had studied business at the coercion of his father though he had wanted to go into culinary arts. Craig had helped him get over his sadness by making friends with a student in the culinary program. He didn't try to understand the insanity of the art, but his friend shared some of the dessert recipes they worked on, which gave Tweek a chance to challenge his baking skills.

He was thankful for the new things to try, and Craig was happy to be a taste-tester for him, bringing some of the desserts back to his friend in thanks.

The desserts were sold at the cafe along with coffee, and where immensely popular. This lead to long days for Tweek, and he often returned to his and Craig's small apartment exhausted. If Craig had yet to get back, he would make the pair dinner, and Craig did the same for him.

Getting back to the apartment that night, Tweek found Craig curled up asleep on the couch. He was a tall guy, and this was no easy feat, but with his knees pulled up to his chest, practically cutting his height in half, it worked.

Letting out a soft sigh, he pressed a kiss to his forehead, then went into the kitchen, making them dinner. Craig didn't take naps very often, so his day much have been a busy one if he was so dead to the world.

Once the food was ready, he shook him awake gently, and they sat together at the counter, eating and talking. When they finished, Tweek put their dishes in the sink them went into the bathroom to shower. The warm water helped relax his tense muscles, and the sweet smell of his shampoo helped to sooth his frazzled nerves.

After toweling off and putting on a pair of pajama bottoms, he walked out into the living room. Craig was laying across the couch, his legs dangling over the arm, reading a book and munching from a bag of chips. He went past him into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Spotting the sink, he felt anger settle in his stomach. Snatching his cup, he returned to the living room, sinking slowly into the arm chair.

"Did you wash the dishes?" he asked, his voice strained and filled with false cheer.

Craig blinked, then looked back at him over his shoulder. "I thought you wanted to do that," he said slowly.

Tweek chuckled, though the sound was harsh and heavy. "You were wrong," he said, his face sending a clear message. He understood that Craig was exhausted, but so was he. Besides that, their deal was that whoever made dinner didn't have to do the clean up after.

His boyfriend watched him for a moment, then nodded solemnly, swinging his legs back around and standing up. He left his book on the coffee table, laid so the pages he was reading were pressed against the glass.

Looking down at the title, Tweek understood Craig's sudden forgetfulness of the way they did things. It was some new book about space he had been telling him about for a few months. He had finally gotten it in the mail the day before, and had spent every single free second with his nose buried in the paper and ink.

Picking it up and being careful to hold Craig's spot, Tweek flipped through it, wondering not for the first time what was so engaging about outer space to Craig. Sure he could see the beauty of it, and feel amazed at it's vast expansion, but he couldn't relate to Craig's blatant obsession over it. Then again, he also couldn't relate to a lot of other things in life, so it wasn't exactly a surprise.

Hearing the sink fill with water and feel a little bad about his passive-aggressive words, he got up and went back into the kitchen after returning Craig's booj to it's original spot on the table.

Without a word, he took a spot beside his boyfriend, taking the freshly scrubbed dish ware and drying it with a hand towel before putting them away. Together they cleaned up fast, and only a few minutes later, Craig was back in his book, only this time was wasn't laid across the couch. This was fully due to Tweek, who followed him and sat down beside the taller man.

Letting out a yawn, Tweek's eyes fluttered shut and he slumped against Craig's chest, the man having to maneuver his arms around him to keep the book from cracking Tweek on the head. He leaned back, letting Tweek stretch out on the cushions, using him as a pillow. He was deeply asleep in moments, and Craig paused his reading to admire Tweek's peaceful face.

He still struggled with his sleeping schedule and stayed awake for days and days before being simply too tired to keep going. Craig kissed the top of his head lightly, then put his book down, scooping Tweek into his arms and heading for their bedroom.

He may have been excited for his book, but it would always be there. Tweek was more important to him, even if the other was mad at him.

Settling Tweek on his side, Craig pulled off his jeans and t-shirt before slipping under the covers beside him, pulling him close as he ran his fingers threw Tweek's wild hair. He was head-over-heels for him, had been for years, and though his struggle with communication was on-going, he was glad that Tweek didn't drop him like a hot potato.

Man, he really loved Tweek.

* * *

 **Reminder that this story will be going on hiatus after chapter 50 until August.**

 **To yt guest: thank you for your suggestions! Unfortunately, I won't get to them before the break, but they will be the first requests posted when this story returns!**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	47. I Regret Nothing

Vine - Bae Goals, Zane and Heath

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Clyde loved his best friend, and he was happy to support him in any way he needed. Of course, this didn't mean he wouldn't tease the shit out of him and make dumb jokes as often as he could. When Craig began to date Tweek, he had been the most supportive of all of the boys in their class. He was so amped to see Craig happy, but it also presented the perfect opportunity for a million gay jokes.

And what kind of friend would he be not to take advantage of each and every one?

His favorite to make were innuendos that Jimmy taught him, the comic having no problem with Clyde sharing the jokes, as Clyde had uncanny timing when it came to their delivery. The best on record was in their senior English class. The teacher handed back their creative writing assignments, and unsurprisingly, Craig had done poorly, his stories usually boring and technical.

Clyde had leaned over to see his grade, then smiled and whispered to him, "Sucking at creative things seems to be a talent of yours." Clyde had ended up with a black eye, Craig in detention, and the class in hysterics.

After that, Clyde made sure to have at least some distance between himself and Craig before sharing a joke, wanting at least a chance to get away should Craig lunge for him again. This worked out, as at least twice since Craig had gone after him and the distance had allowed him to avoid a beat down.

Puns were Clyde's second favorite jokes to make, as they gave the best reaction. Sighs weren't going to punch his face in, and while annoyed glares could be frightening, they had yet to lead to any actual violence.

The group gathered together at one another's houses every day after school, switching between so no one's parents would grow tired of seeing them. It was Craig's turn, which meant at least one fight and one bad pun were going to show up, but as it had been a week since the gang's last appearance in the Tucker home, neither of his parents cared.

Tweek didn't want to make the others uncomfortable with the pair's affection, and when at their homes, would leave space between himself and Craig, only allowing him to hold his hand. However, when at his house or Craig's, he said fuck it, they could deal, and would cuddle up into his side, which pleased Craig to no end.

Lounging in an armchair across from them, Clyde watched at Tweek leaned into Craig's chest, his best friend putting an arm around his waist to pull him closer. They were watching videos on Tweek's phone, sharing a set of headphones.

Jimmy was asleep on the floor. He had been working hard on his new set, and had a bad habit of staying up late. Tweek had offered him coffee, but everyone knew better than to accept. Token entered the house last, carrying a box from Panera. Clyde let out a gasp, leaping to his feet and throwing himself at the teen.

"Token!" he wailed. "You recused me! My hunger will be brought to an end!"

Token rolled his eyes and smiled, opening the box and pushing a cinnamon sugar bagel into his hands. "Whatever, as if anything you do that, you absolute black hole of food eating."

Clyde returned to his seat, looking at his snack hungrily. As he was about to take a bite, Token drew his attention as he moved in front of him to hand bagels to Craig and Tweek as well, and an idea formed in his mind. Grinning broadly, he waited for Token to nudge Jimmy awake and for them to be eating before speaking.

"Awe," he cooed, getting the four to look at him. "bae goals!" He gave Craig and Tweek a meaningful look, then his facade cracked, and a giggle slipped out as he lifted his treat. "Bagels~." He took a satisfying bite, the sweet coating crunching nicely as his friends let out groans of pain.

"Clyde, you're horrible," Token said, rubbing a hand down his face.

"I-I hate you s-s-so much," Jimmy sighed, to tired to think of a clever response.

Craig's glare did a good job of making Clyde nervous, but it's was Tweek's entirely blank look that really unsettled him. Tweek was an emotional person, and to have done something capable of taking away any sign of that from him? That did not bode well for anyone.

When the silence in the room stretched to a full minute, Clyde shifted in his seat, eyes darting to everything but Tweek's face. "Um, are you alright?" he asked, not daring to peek.

"Tell me, Clyde," Tweek said, his voice deceptively calm. "Do you like to play games?"

There was a pause, then Clyde was out of his seat, racing for the door. He tossed it open and ran out, screaming. Tweek was after him in a second, bolting out the door behind him. The remaining three followed, wondering what was going to happen.

Clyde was fast for sure, but nothing compared to Tweek. With a flying leap, Tweek crashed into his back, knocking him into the snow covered ground. CLyde shrieked and squirmed, struggling to escape, but Tweek kept him in place easily.

Leaning against the door frame, Craig watched passively. "It's funny because Tweek hasn't actually done anything to him yet," he commented blandly, getting a snort from Jimmy.

The pinned teen saw his friends standing around and cried out to them, "Traitors! You're all traitors! Not even trying to help a bro out!"

"And what is it they need to help you with?" Tweek asked, scooping up a handful of snow.

Clyde whimpered, watching him wearily. "I-I don't know, that's the problem!"

Tweek nodded slightly, then stood up, allowing Clyde to go free. Hardly able to believe his lucky, Clyde stumbled to his feet and rushed towards the safety of the group. He never saw the snowball coming.

It hit him dead center in the back of his head, knocking him face first into a snow bank. He lay still in defeat as his so called "friends" howled with laughter. The crunching of snow alerted him to Tweek's approach, and he felt a hand grip the back of his jacket and haul him to his feet.

"You know you bring this on yourself, right?" his former attacker asked. "If you would stop the jokes, we would stop doing this?"

Clyde let out a sigh, then smiled and turned to face him. "Yeah, I know," he admitted. "But where's the fun in that?"

* * *

 **Reminder that this story will be going on hiatus after chapter 50 until August.**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	48. What What WHAT?

Vine - my mom heard Only by Nicki Minaj for the first time today, Dominic Licciardi

Requested by: potato pants (guest)

* * *

Kyle knew the day was going to end in one of two ways: either he was going to be grounded, or he was going to be dead. He didn't know why he had agreed to do this, but his friends were persistent, and now he was going to die for a stupid joke. He wouldn't have done it if Stan hadn't begged. Curse his supposed "super best friend".

Sheila was in the kitchen making dinner with her husband and Sharon, who had offered to help. His three friends were present, the four boys in the living room and listening to their parents talking.

"Stan, you better give me the best funeral ever," he huffed in annoyance, as he connected his phone to the bluetooth speaker in the kitchen beside his mother. "Don't let Cartman talk down anything, I want fucking fireworks."

"Kyle, what kind of person do you take me for?" Cartman asked, scandalized. "If you go out in a cool way, even I'm going to make sure you get the best fucking send-off possible."

Kenny nodded in agreement, and Kyle sighed. "Fine. I hate you all."

"You got this dude," Stan assured, squeezing his hand. The four trudged into the kitchen, Kyle swearing he could hear the bells of death calling to him. Well, he'd had a nice life and been as good of a kid as he could be. Hopefully that all counted for something.

Sheila greeted them as they entered, filing past her to stand by the counter. Kyle looked up at the deceptively innocent speaker, then let out a breath before turning to face his mother.

"Hey, ma?" he said.

"Yes, Kyle?" She set down the bowl in her arms, looking towards her eldest son.

"I want to show you a song. It's by this women who is a feminist, and she really loves and supports her fans," he started. "She writes her own raps, and got famous all on her own. She's kind of a big deal to kids today."

"That sounds excellent, bubbe! Go ahead and play it," she agreed, not noticing as the other three boys snorted and covered their mouths to hide their laughter. Letting out a soft sigh, Kyle lifted his phone, and clicked play.

The song began with a few beats, bu the moment she heard the lyrics, Sheila began to frantically try and shut the speaker off, yelling "No no no!" The boys were in tears, holding their stomachs and howling with laughter. When the song was finally silenced, Sheila rounded on them, eyes blazing.

"KYLE!" she bellowed. "Why in the world would you think that was appropriate!? Where did you even hear that song!?" Like a flash, Kyle suddenly saw his way out of doom.

"It was Cartman, mom!" he said, eyes wide.

"What!? Aw, weak, Kyle!" Cartman whined.

"Eric Theodore Cartman." Approaching her son, Liane put her hands on her hips, looking down at him. "You're been naughty. You need to apologize to your little friends and Mrs. Broflovski."

With a heavy sigh, Cartman did as he was told, gaining an affectionate head-pat from his mother.

"We will talk about this later, Kyle," Sheila snapped, then ushered the kids out of the room.

Once clear of the adults, Cartman rounded on him. "Screw you, dude!"

Kyle glared back, stepping closer to him. "What, did you think I was just going to sit back and let my mom murder me!? No way!"

They began to argue, then to fight, and before he four knew it, they were a ball of fists and yelling, striking out at anything that was in reach. Somehow their parents didn't hear them, or if they did, chose not to investigate. A few minutes ater the first punch had been thrown, the boys separated, laying the floor panting and bruised.

"I... hate... you guys..." Cartman got out between gulps of air. Kenny sat up and punched his arm, making him whine. "Kenny, whyyyy."

"That was a lot more fun that I thought it would be," Stan said, getting and helping Kyle stand. "I hope you don't die, dude. It would suck, and I know I'd never be able to find someone who could take your place."

While Kyle smiled and thanked him, Kenny glared at the two and let out an annoyed huff, but chose to remain silent. He knew his friends were dicks, but damn.

Dinner was chaos, but nothing the Broflovski's were unprepared for. They pulled up extra chairs for the table, and sat the kids on the floor of the living room where they were close enough to be seen, but each group was able to talk freely among themselves.

"I am so sorry for Kyle," Sheila said once everyone was seated and eating. "I don't know what made him think that would be an alright thing to do. He's usually much better behaved."

"Oh, don't worry, Sheila," Sharon comforted. "We know Kyle is a good boy. I'm sure he just didn't know what those lyrics meant."

"What is a menage anyway?" Randy asked.

"That's a slang turn for a threesome," Liane answered lightly. "The lyrics were saying she did not have sex with those two men separately, but at once."

The silence that followed this was deafening, though the woman herself didn't seem to notice, continuing to eat as though nothing had happened. The other adults glanced at one another, then over at the boys.

Kyle was cutting up Ike's food into smaller pieces for the toddler as the boys discussed the newest episode of their favorite show. Sheila felt her anger dissipate as she watched them. It was unlikely Kyle knew the meaning of the lyrics, or any of the other boys for that matter. It was clear they were bad, but maybe they didn't know why.

* * *

 **Reminder that this story will be going on hiatus after chapter 50 until August.**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	49. At Least It Worked Out

Vine - Not very confident with my gift giving, Gabriel Gundacker

* * *

Nothing was more daunting than giving a gift. So many things could go wrong, and considering who he was, they usually did. It was unfair, really, considering all the other insane shit he had to worry about already. The gnomes were plotting, snowmen could come to life and murder, aliens might return, the list went on. Letting out a sigh, Tweek grabbed the item he was looking at and went to the register. Once purchased, he went home and wrapped it in tissue paper.

He sat at his desk, having cleared a small spot for the newly wrapped present in front of him. His and Craig's six month anniversary was approaching rapidly, and while he had been extremely happy dating the other, it made him feel sick. What if Craig forgot? Or didn't care? Sure, he got Tweek little things all the times, but those had been things specifically to help him with his anxiety. This was... entirely different.

Scrubbing his eyes quickly, Tweek groaned. "He's gonna like it, he's gonna like it," he murmured repeatedly under his breath. It was late now, wrapping the present having taken far longer than he would ever admit to, and while he knew he wouldn't sleep, laying down would help him rest. He changed into his pajamas and crawled under the covers. No point in worrying about it' it was like Craig always told him: whatever was going to happen would, and pretty much nothing could change it.

To bad that wasn't the most comforting thing he had ever been told.

When the day arrived a week later, it was Saturday, and the boys had planned the spend the entire day together. Craig had even seemed excited about it, unable to stop flashing smiles at him whenever they saw one another at school. It freaked his friends out, but Tweek was glad. It meant Craig was happy. Happy with him. What more could he want?

Meeting up at the cafe (something Mr. Tweak had _instead_ on), Tweek had thrown his apron into his father's face and run out the door, gripping onto Craig's hand and dragging him away. He knew his father only liked having them meet for dates at the shop was so Mr. Tweak could flaunt his son's gayness, and Tweek wasn't about to let that happen more than necessary.

They went to Stark's Pond first, sitting on a bench near the edge and skipping stones across the surface, talking about their mornings so far. Though he tried to seem casual, Tweek could feel the little tissue-wrapped present burning a hole in his pocket. It felt like it was getting heavier with each passing minute.

When finished at the pond, they went to the theater to see the newest of the Avengers movies. They loved it, and left the theater in good moods, and for Tweek, feeling less as though he was going to be murdered.

Eating at Raisins was a lot better, as the girls knew flirting with them would not get them extra money, so they were served normally, then left alone. After paying, they began to walk, Tweek silently listening to Craig ramble about something Tricia had done to piss him off after school the day before.

It strangely helped him build his courage, and he paused, which made Craig stop talking and turn to look at him. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just wanted to give you something." Shyness crept into his tone, and he bit his lip as he brought the gift out of his pocket. "It's just a dumb little thing," he added, forcing himself to sound a bit cheerier, though he couldn't get rid of his nervousness.

Surprise crossed Craig's face as he looked at the messily wrapped thing in Tweek's hands. "Wow, thanks," he said, smiling encouragingly.

Without warning, all of Tweek's nerves came crashing back. What if he opened it and was disappointed? "No, it's stupid..." he mumbled, shuffling his feet as he looked down at the ground. His grip on the item tightened as Craig attempted to assure him.

"I'm sure its great."

He shook his head. "No, it's a dumb- here." He turned away from his boyfriend and dropped the gift into the trashcan beside them. "You don't want that." Face burning with embarrassment, Tweek rushed through a quick "goodnight", then ran back to his house. Behind him, Craig pulled the present from the trash and opened it.

Once safely in his room, Tweek grabbed his pillow from his bed and screamed into it. God, he'd made himself look like an idiot! Worse than that, he'd looked like a dick! Fuck everything, but especially his nerves!

His screams fading, he climbed onto his bed and laid still with his face pressed into the cushion until he heard his phone buzz on the table beside him. Snatching it and clicking the screen on, he swallowed hard upon seeing he had a new message from Craig. Unlocking the device, he hesitantly clicked to see the full message. When it popped up, his eyes widened and he squeaked in surprise.

Craig taken a selfie with their guinea pig, but the little animal was dressed as a dragon. It was a tiny, green onesie with felt spikes that went down the spine and along the tail. Teeny red lines were stitched im the ends of the feet like claws, and over Stripe's head was a hood with little floppy ears on either side.

Craig had found his present.

He called him right away, too many thoughts in his mind to settle on a few to message. Craig picked up on the first ring. Neither said hello, going straight into conversation.

"Why did you pull that out of the trash?"

" _Why did you throw it away?_ " Craig's voice had a hint of amusement in it, and Tweek found it comforting as it meant the other was angry for the stunt he pulled. " _I love any reason to dress Stripe up, and of course I love the outfit you got her. She loves it too._ " There was the sound of something moving, then Craig continued. " _She knows it from you. I didn't even tell her, I think she just smelled you on it, and you know how much she loves you._ "

Tweek smiled and laughed. "That's good," he said. "I was worried you would think it was stupid and that it wouldn't fit her."

" _You know your daughter better than you think. Now, get over here to get some pictures with her we can put on our Insta. Stripe is a goddamn model, and I won't let her beauty go to waste._ " The young couple had a shared Instagram account that was exclusively made up of pictures of Stripe, some normal, but most of her in costumes. They were glad to show off their little girl, and had made it mostly as a joke when Clyde had teased them about all the photos of her they had. Since, Stripe had gained quite the following, people loving the cute outfits and her charming demeanor.

"Okay. I'll be over soon." Taking a deep breath, he asked, "Craig?"

" _Yeah?_ "

"I love you." Tweek could hear Craig beaming as he replied.

" _I love you too_ _._ "

* * *

 **Reminder that this story will be going on hiatus after chapter 50 until August.**

 **If you have a suggestion of a vine, please feel free to send it, and if you have specific characters you want the story to be, I'll try to us them! Try to give me either a link to a specific vine, or the creator and the vine so I can find it!**


	50. Who Ya Gonna Call?

Vine - overcoming fears, Cody Ko

Requested by: hypochondriac-butters (tumblr)

* * *

If there was one thing Clyde and Kenny loved, it was ghost hunting shows. They were exciting, and could at times be crap-your-pants terrifying! At least, that was Clyde's view. Kenny liked them for an entirely different reason, as he still held the wild theory that he was a supernatural being himself. Clyde supposed he believed him, after all, there had always been something about his friend that seemed... different.

It was South Park, anything was possible.

As they watched YouTube get bigger from their time in elementary school to their senior year in high school. the pair knew now was the time to begin their own show on the platform. However, they were in agreement that they couldn't tackle such a project alone, they needed others, and they knew exactly who to go to.

"You want us to help you make a paranormal hunting show?" Craig asked, half in disbelief, half confusion as the four sat together at a lunch table. He knew his best friend was insane, but this was a whole new level. "Why the fuck are you asking us instead of Stan and Kyle?"

"Because Kyle doesn't believe it's possible for this stuff to exist," Kenny explained. "And if he won't do it, neither will Stan. Those tow are a package deal, just like you and Tweekers here."

"Don't call me that," Tweek huffed, glaring at him in annoyance over the textbook he was frantically skimming. There was a test next period and he wanted to be sure he hadn't forgotten anything important.

Kenny put up his hands in a silent apology before continuing. "We really need you two."

"For what? I fail to see why I need to get involved in any kind of shenanigan, or why it's necessary for Tweek to be dragged into it."

"Duuuude," Clyde whined, slumping across the table and grabbing his hand. "You don't understand! I've wanted to do something like this for basically ever now! Everyone knows a team needs at least four members! The camera guy!" He pointed to Craig. "The researcher!" A pointed look at Tweek. "And the hilarious hot dudes who are daring and brave and put themselves in danger for the chance to prove that ghosts and stuff are real!"

Kenny nodded in enthusiastic agreement, and the two shared a triumphant high-five. The sound made Tweek jump, and he slammed his book shut, sitting up and fixing them with an evil glare that cowed even Kenny, who was not usually one to be afraid of anything.

"If we say yes to just one episode, will you shut the fuck up and let me study?" he snapped. Finals were fast approaching, which meant a stressed Tweek. If there was one person to be avoided at all costs, it was stressed out Tweek.

They nodded quickly, and Tweek looked at Craig. As annoyed as he was, he also wasn't going to force his boyfriend into something he'd hate. The quick nod was all Clyde and Kenny needed, and they let out loud cheers.

* * *

They waited to begin until after graduation, though it was less by choice than by by needing to be sure they would have the time to put their all into the pilot episode and have no distractions from other things.

Clyde was delighted to discover they had couldn't have landed a more perfect set of partners in Craig and Tweek, as Tweek was already extremely knowledgeable about supernatural going-ons in and around South Park, and Craig had secretly kept up with his film hobby. As such, setting up their overnight in the rumored haunted wing of the old folks home was a breeze.

Once they were in place (and Kenny was sure to pester Craig into filming himself setting the cameras up), they gathered outside at the gate with Tweek, were they had set up a table covered in computer equipment and books. The books were props, Tweek knowing all his information by heart, but Clyde had begged him to go the whole nine yards.

While Craig filmed Tweek going over the history of the retirement home and the many deaths and possible haunting there, Clyde and Kenny stood close by, whispering excitedly to each other.

"Ken, it's finally happening!" Clyde all but squealed.

"I know, I know! Try to calm down though. Cool guys always have to be calm and collected, otherwise you look like a pleb," Kenny said, patting his shoulder. "I believe in you." His cheeks tinted slightly red, and he looked about to say something else, but was cut off when Craig called out he was ready for them.

Staying up all night and running around like insane people was definitely a highlight for the two. Luckily, most of the old people were deaf and couldn't hear them thundering down the halls screaming bloody murder, which meant there was no awkward cut in the filming of them having to stop early or being reprimanded.

The following night, Clyde, Kenny, and Tweek arrived to Craig's house to hang out as their videographer finished editing. Each had gone with a role for the pilot: Tweek was the paranoid caffeine-addict who had all the information they needed, Craig the adept tech-man, Kenny the charming confident ghost hunter, and Clyde the lovable newcomer who was more out of his element than he had realized. Unsurprisingly, they had all picked something they already were. No one had said they needed to be creative in that aspect.

When the video was ready, they gathered around Craig computer, watching with excitement as he pressed play.

It began with an establishing shot of the building, a few clips of the seniors wandering around playing as Kenny's voice came in. "A small retirement home in quiet South Park, Colorado... may hold a deadly secret in it's walls." It cut hard to Tweek, the teen's wild eyes and hair making quite the impression as the first person to be seen on their little team as he explained to the camera the history of the building and it's many residents, noting particularly the stories of the elderly murdered by evil nurses.

When he finished, the camera panned to Kenny who smiled and waved before approaching and setting into the only staged part of their night.

"Guys, we're getting a new crew man today. He's gonna be helping me on the inside so Craig won't have to be pulling double duty. You guys ready to meet him?" he asked, reaching out and taking the camera to turn it onto the pair, who nodded.

Off to the side, Clyde walked into view, grinning brightly and chirping a bright 'hello'. They spent some time of introductions, then Craig put in a time-lapse to get them to night, a camera having been set up to look at the sky above the roof of the building just for that purpose. When it refocused, it was on Kenny and Clyde sitting together in the front seat of a car with fast food bags to show they had gotten dinner. As they finished their meals, Kenny pointed to the building and declared they were going to spend the night inside.

Clyde looked up at the daunting place nervously, then turned back to his friend. "But that place is haunted," he said.

"Ghosts prey on fear," Kenny answered, giving him a smile. "Just be confident." Clyde nodded once, then the video smash cut to one of the cameras set up in the halls half an hour as Clyde power walked by.

Chanting loudly to himself, his face set into a hard line, he called out, "I am not scared! I am not a pussy!" Two seconds later, a loud bang made the teen scream as though he was being murdered, and he dashed for the exit, though it was revealed the thing that had scared him was an elderly woman dropping her walker on the ground a short distance away.

The rest of the video was much the same, switching between Kenny being unnerved by supernatural events and Clyde being scared shitless by completely normal things. The reactions were genuine as well, the boys having planned nothing beyond the slight stories of their characters and Clyde's arrival.

When it came to an end on the conclusion the retirement home was for sure haunted and the credits rolled by (it didn't take long as only four of them had worked on it), Clyde let out a woop of joy, tackling Craig in a hug as Kenny wrapped his arms around Tweek and squeezed the life out of him. When the pair released their captives, they attacked one another next, breaking down into delighted sobs.

"Craig!" Clyde wailed, looking towards his friends as best he could through his watering eyes, "it's so good! I love it so much! You're a master, my dude! And Tweek!" He whipped his head to face the other, sniffing hard to keep his nose from running, "You gave us so much great information! I didn't know any of that stuff before I heard you say it!"

Craig let a smile cross his face, glad to have made his friend happy as Tweek blushed from the praise. Promising to send the video to him that night, Craig kicked Kenny and Clyde out to spend some time in peace with his boyfriend.

Neither minded, in to good of moods to be ruined by anything. As they walked towards Clyde's house together, Kenny suddenly caught Clyde's hand in his, swinging it gently back and forth. A little surprised but not minding, the teen just smiled and squeezed Kenny's hand lightly.

Getting to the Donovan residence, Kenny stopped him before he could go inside, coughing awkwardly. "So, Clyde," he started, snuffing his shoe against the stone path as the other moved up onto the step. "I wanted to tell you I thought your acting was great, but your emotional stuff was really good too. Uh... I really like being able to do this with you, and I hope Craig and Tweek will keep on..." Realizing he was rambling, he cleared his throat as his cheeks turned pink. "Ah, I just uh, I like working with you. I hope we can keep doing this."

Clyde blinked, but smiled and nodded. "Of course, Kenny," he assured. "I had a lot of fun too. You're great at dealing with paranormal stuff, so it's awesome to get to work with you. I'm gonna make dinner for dad and me, but if you want-"

"I really like you and would like to date you, Clyde!" Kenny spoke so fast, it took almost a full minute of silence for Clyde to process what he had said. Once he had, a grin worked its way onto his face. Kenny was a few inches shorter than him, and being down the step put him at perfect height for Clyde's response.

He pressed a light kiss to Kenny's forehead, giggling as he threw open the door and stepped inside. "Sounds good to me," he called brightly, then shut the door behind him, leaving Kenny stunned on the porch.

* * *

 **Thank you all for making it this far with me! As said before, this story is now going on hiatus until August! I hope everyone has a great summer!**

 **I am still accepting requests for this story, so feel free to send them in if you'd like!**


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